Sirius Changes
by BlueSkies13
Summary: Amy Summers is one of a group of girls who have broken out of Hogwarts. Now she's back and she's settling in again. Everything is working out; but things can't always STAY easy. Not when you're Sirius Black's girlfriend. NOW COMPLETE. SEQUEL Posted!
1. Coming Back

_Amy's point of view_

'Get your hands off me! I'll sue!' I can hear Maddison raging from the back of the train. They've put us in different compartments. Smart. They must know all we need is four minutes together and we'll have escaped and be halfway across the English countryside. Course having the four of us separated will do nothing but agitate us. Damn these intelligent aurors!

'Do you want anything to eat?' the auror sitting across from me asks. I look up at him. He has messy black hair and blue eyes. I keep a blank face and turn my head away. Then my stomach grumbles, but I ignore it, looking out the window.

Two figures appear outside the compartment door. 'Five minutes,' the taller one warns. The comartment door opens and reveals Tessie. She stumbles in and sits beside me.

'Come on, Potter. Out. They need a private moment. It's a girl thing.' the auror woman tells my auror. He leaves reluctantly and I can see them stand outside the closed door.

'How the hell did you get her to let you in?' I don't dare speak above a whisper.

Tessie shrugs.

'I told her I had my period, needed a pad. She didn't have one. All the other aurors are men so I said you had yours and I could get a spare one from you.' she whispers back.

I'm impressed. 'Nice,' I compliment.

'Thanks. Amy, how are we gonna get out of here?' she turns paniced. I pat her shoulder.

'I don't know. We probably won't get an opening until we're at the castle. What is Maddie _doing?' _I hear another loud bang from the back.

'She's trying to escape. Again. I wonder how many more times she's going to try to run out the door,' Tessie muses. I laugh quietly.

'And Jelly? How's she holdin up?' I ask. Tessie's compartment is closest to theirs. They put me furthest to the top and with the best auror because apparently I'm the 'leader'. So I'm the best dueler. Doesn't mean I'm the leader.

'Well, she keeps going to the toilet. And everytime she checks every nook and cranny with her eyes, trying to find a fault in the train.'

I sigh. 'She can forget that plan, it won't work. There are no faults.'

Tessie sighs too. Then the door slides open and the woman comes in and sits down.

'We'll be at Hogwarts in ten minutes. Now, for those last minutes, I'll bring the other two in, but only if there is no trouble.' she warns.

We both nod eagerly. She gives us a kind smile and leaves to get Jelly and Maddie. When they come in they sit down quietly, though Maddie pauses to give a cold glare to a large auror before entering.

'So, what's the plan?' Maddie asks as soon the door closes.

'Shh! They never leave.' Jelly whispers. We all look at the door and sure enough there are four bodies outside in auror stance.

We spend the last ten minutes in silence, holding hands. I'm nervous. We've been gone for two years. We left in third year. It's November now and we should be in Fifth year.

The train stops and we're seperated again. I walk up towards the school beside the auror Potter, at the front of the line again. We are being made _walk _up the steep hill to the school. The castle still looks beautiful. As we approach the entrance I see the whomping willow and in the distance the forbidden forest. All the memories come rushing back. Good and bad ones.

We're led to the great hall. It must be dinner time. Oh. My. God. Are they going to make us eat with everyone? I can only imagine what our old Ravenclaw classmates will ask. _Why did ye leave? What did ye do? How did ye get out?_

But I'm stopped outside the doors by Potter. We all stand in a loose circle and Potter speaks.

'Professer Dumbeldore will explain to the other students what's going on. Then you will be sorted into your houses.'

'WHAT? We've already been sorted! Five years ago! We're in Ravenclaw!' Maddie exclaims.

'A lot can change in the two years ,' the woman says solemnly.

I can hear loud, excited, astonished chatter from the hall. Dumbledore must be done.

'Ashton, Maddison,' I recognise Professor McGonagall's voice. The doors open and Maddie is brought to the front of the hall and sat on a chair by her auror. The sorting hat is placed on her head. No one speaks.

'Ravenclaw!' the hat shouts. She jumps up and looks back at us, biting her lip. We give her thumbs up and she walks slowly to the erupting blue table, where everyone is screaming and clapping and welcoming her.

'Green,Jelatha.' Jelly is escorted by her auror to the chair and is given the hat. Straight away it's, 'Ravenclaw!'

'Mackenzie, Teresa,' Tessie sits down. A minute later, the hat shouts, 'Ravenclaw!' The blue table is crazy. Every person is on their feet and screaming.

'Summers, Amy.' It's quiet again as Potter brings me to the chair. I'm not as scared because I know I'll be in Ravenclaw, too.

'Good luck,' Potter murmurs as he places the hat on my head. He winks and then stands behind me.

_Welcome back, ms. Summers. Have a nice holiday? _

Brilliant, I think dryly.

_I remember when you first sat in this chair. How nervous you were. You had a brilliant mind then, as do you now, but- Ah. There is something else there now. Something you didn't have as much of then. Yes it's certainly grown. It shapes who you are, who you will be. Do you know what it is, Amy? It's courage. Loyalty . And strength. And so there is only one place for you._

'_GRYFFINDOR!' _the hat screams.

_'_WHAT?' I scream so loudly Potter jumps behind me. I jump off the chair. I take the hat off and hold it in front of me.

'Are you serious!' I shout.

'Yes,' it replies.

'You're wrong,' I tell it angrily.

'No, I'm not. I _never_ am,' it says haughtily.

I look to the headmaster and McGonagall. They look confused.

'Well, it is never wrong.' Dumbledore says solemnly.

'Join your table, then, Ms, Summers.' McGonagall says.

I just look at the hat . There is a shocked silence. Jelly, Tessie, and Maddie leave the Ravenclaw table and stand beside me. Tessie takes my hand and says' There has to have been a mistake. Amy is one of the smartest people I know.'

'No one is questioning her intelligence. She's just changed. She is more suited to the Gryffindor house now,' the hat says sternly.

From the look on the professor's faces I know there is no changing it. I sink onto the chair and drop my face into my hands. I don't cry- no way. I imagine what school will be like without my best friends. Being in a house where I have no friends. I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up at Potter.

'Come on,' he says softly.

I get up and hug my friends. Jelly is crying. 'I'll miss you,' she whispers as she squeezes me.

'Ill miss you, too. I'll miss you all.' We do a big group hug and then we're separated by the woman auror. Her face is compassionate and to my surprise she hugs me.

'If you ever need anything, write to me,' she says, handing me a card with her name and address.

'Thanks Jasmine.' I say.

Then Potter takes my arm and walks me to the Gryffindor table. You could hear a pin drop in the silence. Before I sit Potter says, ' don't worry. You'll be fine. You're a Gryffindor, after all.' He squeezes my arm and nods to a group of boys across from my seat. I sit and avoid everyone's eyes.

'Alright, welcome back to our old students. Good luck with the rest of your future. Now. Enjoy the feast,' Dumbledore claps his hands and the food appears.

I don't think I can eat anything.

Everyone is staring at me. Aw yeesh. I put my chin in my hand and stare over at the Ravenclaw table. The girls are getting a hero's welcome. All I'm getting are stares and whispers. Then Matthew Jones, a gorgeous mixed race boy from Ravenclaw seventh year comes over to me and kneels down beside me. We used to be sorta friends, back in the day.

'Hey, Amy! It sucks so bad you're not with us! We're really going to miss you. But hey, at least you're not a Slytherin,' he says the last part darkly.

I groan and put my head on the table. 'This is terrible. There's no 'at least', this is the worst it can get,' I whine.

He strokes hair my comfortingly.

You don't look like you've that changed that much to me,' he admits. 'Same long blond hair, same blue eyes. Maybe a little taller,' he allows.

'A little? I've grown loads in the last two years!' I exclaim.

He chuckles. 'Yeah, you did. I just was hoping I'd get to see you smile...' he trails off. I blush and look away from his green eyes.

'Please?' he does a puppy dog face, and I can't resist. I smile at him shyly.

' Yes! My goal in life has been reached! You should eat something. I know you're hungry.'

I am. I scan the table, seeing what's on offer. I notice four boys gawking at me. They're the ones Potter had greeted. One of them looked considerably like him. His son, maybe? Another was chubbier than the others. I recognised Remus Lupin from my third year herbology. He smiled at me. The boy next to Remus was looking at me in a different way than the others. They were awed and impressed. He was watching me intensly. He had messy black hair and stormy grey eyes. He was very handsome. Better looking than Matthew even! As our eyes meet he winks at me and you won't believe what I do! I wink back! I don't blush or anything! Wow! Maybe I am brave.

I look away as he starts smiling and load my plate with spaghetti. Yum! I feel more relaxed now that everyone has gone back to speaking. I pretend that every conversation_ isn't_ about me and turn to Matthew.

'Anyway, I'm really glad you're back and don't worry. You'll be fine! I have to go back to my table. Bye,' he says. He gives me a hug and leaves.

'How did you do it?' I look across at the boy with glasses and black hair.

'Excuse me?' I ask around a mouth of spagetti.

'How did you bust out?' he asks eagerly.

I take a drink and shrug. 'How do you know Potter?' I ask.

'He's my dad. I'm James. This is Peter, Sirius and Remus,' he introduces.

'Welcome back Amy. You'll have to excuse James, he's just in awe,' Remus says, smiling warmly.

'Of course I'm in awe. Whose idea was it?' he asks.

I take another mouthful and say slowly, 'mine and Tessie's.'

'You two must be genius',' the handsome boy Sirius says.

I laugh bleakly. 'Yeah. Two bad we didn't _both _stay that way,' I mutter.

'You're still smart, Amy. And hey, Gryffindor is great.' Sirius said earnestly.

I just shrug and say, 'I know it is. It'd be better if I had friends though.'

'We're your friends, right guys?' The three nod and make sounds of agreement. Sirius looks at me.

'Thanks.' Then a fiery redhead comes down the aisle and sits beside me.

''Hi, I'm Lily. Welcome to Gryffindor.' She shakes my hand.

'Hey, Evans, what you doing down our end of the table?' James' voice becomes deeper and he leans back on the bench, trying to look cool.

'If you don't want me here, Potter, I can leave. I just came to save Amy from 'Pigs Descend'.'

'No! Don't leave! I mean, I promise not to 'descend' in public,' James says, while the others laugh at his rude joke.

And suddenly Potter is toppling off the bench. Lily and I laugh. She has kicked him off under the table.

'Come on, Amy, come sit with my friends.' Lily says, standing up.

'Is that what you call MacLaggen, then? A 'friend'?' he asks sarcastically.

'I'd call him a _gentleman! _Come on, Amy.' She pulls me from the table and drags me with her.

I look back and say,' See ye later, guys!' They smile and wave. James looks pissed off and Sirius looks disappointed, while the other two are watching them with amusement.

I sit with Lily and her friends Alice and Molly. Shane MacLaggen watches Lily with goo goo eyes, while she mostly ignores him. I guess she's just trying to make James jealous. It's clear there's something there.

After dinner we all sit in the common room. It's my first time in the Gryffindor common room. It's not that different from the Ravenclaw one. Just the colours and password instead of a riddle. I guess that will be a little easier. Being able to say 'Nargle Juice' instead of having to think of an answer. I'm on the couch next to Lily when James and the rest of the boys come in.

'Hey, Evans! Amy,' He nods to me and squeezes his way into the middle of us.

'Ugh, Potter, go away!' she shouts, frustrated.

'Will you go out with me?' he asks hopefully. He looks cute with his pleading hazel eyes and messy black hair.

'NO!' Lily shoves his head away and jumps up, stomping angrily up the stairs to the girl's dorm.

I sigh and get up to follow her.

'Don't go! She's fine,' Sirius says quickly. He dumps James off the couch and sits beside me. Poor James. He's lying on the floor looking defeated. I wonder why Lily won't go out with him. He's cute, and he seems to really like her.

'I should probably go see-'

'Trust me, this is nothing new. This happens everyday.' Sirius assures me.

'Several times a day, really,' Remus pipes in tiredly.

'I don't get it,' James moaned. He rolls onto his stomach and gazes dreamily at the girls' stairs. 'Why. Won't. She. Just. Say. _YES! _What's wrong with me?' He drops his head to the floor with a not-so-gentle bang.

'This part is standard too,' Peter says in his squeaky voice.

I look down at James thoughtfully. He seems a pretty nice guy. I could probably fix him up with Lily. I'll have to learn all the things she hates about him first, of course. But right now, let's work with the things I know.

'You're glasses are lopsided. You're nose is a little on the long side. You've got awfully big feet. You seem a little pushy. And you're lying on the ground with you're butt in the air.' I make my list aloud accidentally. I'm only alerted when I see all of their stares. I'm going to have to go talk to Lily. I get up and when I get to the foot of the stairs I look back for a far away point of view.

'And by the way, you're zip's open. G'night!' With that I bound up the stairs.


	2. Lists and Faults

It was so weird not sleeping in a blue room. I mean yes, we didn't always sleep in blue rooms while we were gone but while in Hogwarts it was blue hangings on the four poster beds. Blue curtains. Blue bedsheets. Blue lampshades. Blue ties and scarves hanging from the bedposts. Not _red._ Red! Ugh. It kept me up all night. That and Lily's snoring. And while I was up I got to ponder everything. Had I made the right choice? Conclusion: yes. Was I lonely?: Sorta. Did I think I could happy here?:Possibly. Was I going to make a good attempt at Herbology this year?: Most likely not. Could I have a crush on Sirius Black?: Unknown at this time.

Did I like Red or Blue?: Blue.

Even now I'm drying my wet curls with a _red_ towel, not blue. And it's not doing much good either! My hair used to sit on my shoulders in little gold springs. Now it's nearly to my elbows and falls in loose, messy spirals. I tug one and pull it straight, only to see it go back to messily wavy as soon as I let go.

'I give up! Are you happy? Stay messy, then!' I shout.

'What? Who are you talking to? Your reflection?' Lily jokes, strolling out of the bathroom in a towel and dripping hair.

'Ha ha! No. But very close. I was talking to my hair, actually.'

'Of course you were,' she mutters, rolling her eyes.

'Do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to cheat! Diringo,' I point my wand at my hair and it is instantly dry. 'Hah!'

Lily gives me a concerned look, like she's worried for my mental health. I check the mirror. There! My hair is dry and shiny and my dark navy eyes have lost the tired look. I staighten up and practise my '_shoulders back, butt in,' _posture. I examine my reflection. My white shirt is peaking out from beneath my grey jumper and my red tie is loose, more draped around my neck than properly done. The skirt comes a few inches above my knees. My knee high socks are on and I just have to slip on my black shoes.

'You sure have some long legs. You look like you've been stretched by your toes and fingers! How do you still have curves?' Lily asks wistfully.

'Ah, stop. You're being stupid. Come on, I'm hungry, curves!' I laugh and stand up from buckleing my shoe.

As we enter the common room James calls from the couch, 'Good morning Lily! How did you sleep?' Then he takes the time to notices me. 'Hey newbie! What's crack-a-lackin?'

'Come on _Amy_, let's go,' Lily sniffs. She leads me to the portrait with her nose in the air.

'Wait! I'll come!' James' voice calls from the common room, followed by a crash and a loud, 'For the love of-' Then he shouts, 'Watch where you put your bag, would ya? I would give you a rats tail but I am unarmed at the present time! You can expect a detention from Prefect Lupin, though!'

As we begin ro descend the stairs we just hear a frightened cry of, 'But I didn't do anything!'

Lily is scowling and half turned towards the top of the stairs.

'Come on,Lils. From what I can remember, you have to be early for the good stuff. And syrup waits for nobody!' I prod gently.

She smiles slightly but doesn't lose the frown. 'He's such an idiot! Thinks he's God almighty. That's one of the things I can't stand about him!' She's complains angrily.

'One of the things? What else is there?' I ask casually. I need to know what to fix. That's step 1 of plan 'Get Lily to see the good in James (as soon as I find it, myself) and fall in love with him'- I know, not very catchy. But it's still early!

* * *

**Lily Evans hates James Potter because: **

He is inconsiderate and rude.

His head is the size of a quaffle and is filled with a brain the size of a snitch.

He is a bully.

He obviously cheated in his transfiguration final in third year. No body can get an outstanding on something we'd never studied before!

He is a stalker.

He is perverted.

His hair is like a nest.

He needs to get off his high horse.

He needs to stop growing. His height is just freakish.

He needs to stop asking Lily out.

* * *

I look at my list once more before entering the empty charms classroom. The boys are already in there. Remus is writing a potions essay. Peter is reading and copying what Remus is writing over his shoulder. James is looking through a Broomsticks catalogue. And Sirus is looking gorgeous leaning against the wall. Ahem, I mean Sirius is leaning against the wall. They all look up when I come in.

'Well? Did you persuade her?' James asked eagerly.

'No,' I sais slowly. His expression turned frustrated. 'But I've gotten a list of things she hates about you-'

'That's a nice approach,' Sirius says sarcastically at the same time James yelps, 'There's a _list?' _I ignored them

_'So_,all we need to do is fix all the things wrong with James,' I say.

'You say that as if it's an easy task,' Sirius smirks. I smile back at him.

'Show me the list,' Remus holds out his hand. The boys all gather around the list and scan through it, concentrating hard.

'I can't help my _height!_ And a quaffle sized head? That's mean! And i did NOT CHEAT ON THAT TEST! This girl is killing my ego!' James explodes.

'Personally I think it needs to be chopped down. Just a smidge!' Remus said with a false straight face.

'And his hair isn't that nest-like,' Peter defends.

I shrug. 'Lily's thoughts and words. Not mine. Now I've got to go. Let me know what you want to start with and I'll be here to help.' I open the door.

'What makes you think we need your help?' James pouts. I turn and smile sweetly.

'Have you or have you not all got balls?' I ask calmly. They all nodded, confused.

'So you're men?' I continue. More nods. Well, men of sorts.

'Then you need my help,' I say pleasantly before leaving.

It's just a fact:

Women know best!

**Hello all! BlueSkies13 here! This is my first fanfic for Harry Potter and only my second overall. I have a softspot for the Mauraders and wanted to write a Sirius story, because it doesn't say much about his past.**

**I hope you like the story. This is a sorta short one but I felt this was the end of this one. Next chapter up pretty soon( hopefully). **

**Review! xxxxxxxxxx**

**Love Blue xxxxxxxxxx **


	3. Impulse is bad

'Alright, what do you suggest?' Sirius asks. We are all lounging in the Room of the Requirement early Saturday morning. The list of James' faults is in front of us. I spent all yesterday trying to decide what to start with.

'I've come to the conclusion that the problem easiest to fix is the size of his head.' I declare.

'What?' James shouts, aghast. 'You think I'm going to let you operate on my head? You're-'

'No one mentioned an operation. A simple shrinking spell will do the job in this situation,' I interrupt him.

'Have you got a spell in a mind?' Remus questions.

'Haven't got to that bit yet. I'll look it up though,' I answer, getting up from my seat at the table.

'What're you at today?' Sirius asks, following me out of the room.

'I'm meeting my friends after lunch. You?'

He sighs as he walks beside me. 'Probably going to spend the day in the library now, looking at every spell and charm in existence. But I have to go to a study session after dinner.'

I look sideways at him. 'You're acing everything,' I point out. It amazed me the first day of the classes how James and Sirius could mess and pay no attention, but still answer every question right and get an outstanding on each test.

'I'm not the one being tutored,' he winks.

'Right.'

'I bet you really miss your friends,' he says after a bit of silence.

I shrug. I do miss them, but I don't want him to feel bad.

'You seem to be pretty good friends with Evans,' he persists.

'Yeah, Lily's great.' A thought pops into my head. 'Hey, who's that boy from another house that Lily hangs around with sometimes? The black haired one?'

'Severus Snape,' he says darkly, like the name is a filthy curse.

'You don't like him?' I ask.

'I _hate _him.'

'Oh….why?' I'm hesitant to ask, he seems so serious when he says it.

' Filthy Slytherin. Up to his eyes in the dark arts. Breathing down our necks all the time.'

He's silent and his fists are clenched. I want to make him lighten up. Sirius Black isn't supposed to be like this; dark and violent. He's supposed to be the opposite of his name. Light and funny.

'I thought his name was something like Sniggert,' I offer, hoping to lighten the atmosphere. He barks out a laugh and smiles.

'_Snivellus, _I believe you're thinking of. Yeah, that's what everyone calls him.'

'_Everyone? _Everyone hates him?' I ask disbelievingly.

He shrugs. 'He's not a very likeable guy. His only friends are those _sneaky, slithering Slytherins.' _

'Isn't your brother in Slytherin?' I frown.

'Yes,' he said stiffly. I sense not to broach the subject.

We reach the Great Hall and just as I am to step over the threshold he says,

'I'm not like my family Amy. I'm different.'

I smile and nod, squeezing his shoulder. Do not think about the electricity. Do not, I repeat.

'I know.'

'Hey!' he shouts behind me. I turn to face him.

'Pity about your busy schedule! We could've hung out!'

'I thought you had to help James and tutor?' I call back sceptically.

He shrugs, grinning. 'I probably would've skipped for you!'

He winks and walks away. I do a happy dance, attracting many stares.

* * *

'And Rachel Ulhanda- you know that seventh year- said 'Just because you fly with the hippogriffs, doesn't mean you're a bird! You get it?' Jelly laughs so hard she almost falls off her bench. The cold winter air nips at my nose and rustles the leaves of the nearby trees.

'Yeah, that's hilarious,' I mutter, looking out across the lake at Lily and Severus.

They seem to be having an argument. Why would lovely lily want to be with somebody like him? His greasy hair hangs around his face and his skinny hands fly around as he's talking.

She could hang around with anyone she likes on her Saturday. She could go into Hogsmede with her friends. Or a boy. I can think of a good fifteen who would say yes right away without a second thought. (Ahem, James, ahem, Potter.)

'So anyway, we were in Herbology yesterday and guess who was asking for you?' Maddie asks excitedly.

'Who?' I ask boredly. I'm sure it was Patrick McGuire. The boy was obsessed in third year. Always following me around and offering me help. Honestly, how many times do I have to tell him that I'm getting outstanding in charms? I don't need tutoring!

'Oh, it may have been someone like, I don't know…..Matthew Jones?' she squeals.

'Really?' That piqued my interest. 'But he's a seventh year, how were you talking to him in fifth year Herbology?'

'He's apparently something of a Herbology Wiz. Old Professor Grubbly had him and a couple others in to help us with our Mandrakes. He was over teaching us the right way to pot a Mandrake when he said – what was it he said, Tessie?'

'He said, 'Have you been talking to Amy lately?' And we said, 'yes.' He then asked how you were and to tell you 'Hi' when we saw you,' Tessie explains seriously.

'That doesn't sound like anything more than politeness,' I point out.

'True, on the surface. But you've got to break it down,' Maddie says as if she's talking about the faith of the world.

'Yeah, he _could_ have just been being polite, but then why would he bother? If he didn't see you as interesting or important?' Jelly adds.

Hmm… Why would he? I look at Jelly and ask, 'Are you just basing all this on Scottish boys, or are all boys the same?'

She heaves a long-suffering sigh. 'Everything with a _dick_ is the _same, _Amy.' Her Scottish accent is more pronounced when she's angry or annoyed. The rest of the time it's more of a subtle thing.

'Sorry.' I hold up my hands in surrender.

'I think he's going to ask you to the Christmas Ball,' Tessie announces.

'That's not for ages,' I sigh. Why am I not excited about the Christmas ball? I should be. It sounds like fun. And going with Matthew would be awesome. I wonder who Sirius is going with. Does he have a girlfriend? I've seen a load of girls admiring him, sure, but he never seemed to pay special attention to any them. Although he does flirt. A lot. It's probably nothing serious.

'He'll probably ask you next week. It'll be the first week of December.'

'He won't ask her that early,' Maddie objects.

'Yeah, anyone that asks that early is just desperate,' Jelly nods.

'And let's face it; Matthew Jones has no reason to be desperate. He can have any girl he likes,' Maddie states.

So can Sirius.

'He is gorgeous enough,' Tessie admits.

So is Sirius.

'He's always being swarmed by girls, poor bloke,' Jelly says almost sadly.

'So is Sirius,' I blurt out.

They all raise their eyebrows.

'Sirius Black? Forget him Amy. He's a player,' Maddie says coldly.

'Aye. You should hear the things said about him,' Jelly nods her head wisely.

'What's said about him?' I ask sharply. If this is about his family I'll be ready to defend him straight away.

'He's –'

'Shut up, Maddie,' Tessie says sharply. She shoots the two a warning look before turning to me. 'Do you like him, Amy?' she asks softly.

'Of course she doesn't. Amy is smart and beautiful and brilliant. And he's a man-whore,' Maddie says in finality.

'Is your name Amy?' Tessie exclaims angrily.

'We've been friends for five years; I hope you know my name by now!'

While they bicker I wonder. I'm flattered by Maddies description of me, but that is being drowned by the raging curiosity. How is Sirius a player? A man-whore? What things are said about him? I don't believe them. They're just rumours.

I know I like him a bit. But _should _I like him?

* * *

Later I'm on my way back to the dorms about a half hour before curfew. I'm turning a bend when I hear a loud moaning from a broom cupboard. I hesitate outside. It's probably some poor person tied up and jinxed in there. Someone's idea of a joke. Someone like the Slytherins.

I should probably walk away. It's only been two weeks and I don't need any enemies. I turn but before my foot hits the grounds for my first step it moans again, more urgent.

Acting on impulse I spin around and throw open the door, wand in hand. Prepared to blast off the ropes of the poor person and hunt down- or more likely report – the people responsible. What I see causes me to gasp and take three involuntary steps back.

A pretty brunette is backed up against the wall. Her hair is short and curly and very messy. Her body is skinny and model-like. When I gasp her eyes fly open. They are a light brown colour.

She removes her hand from the other boy's shoulder and-ahem, ew- butt cheek and clears her throat. The boy is kissing her neck and makes a questioning noise.

'What's wrong puddin'?' he purrs.

She elbows him and he looks up. Then he follows her gaze and I'm staring into Sirius' face.

Study session. Ha! I can feel my cheeks heat up and I spin around to avoid humiliation.

_He's a player._

The words strut across my mind, gloating. I should have listened.

If I hadn't opened that door I wouldn't have had to see that. If I had listened to my good head I wouldn't have had to see that. If I hadn't acted on my impulse I wouldn't have had to see that.

Stupid impulse.

Now I think I'm going to go cry in my room for a while.

Wait, wait, wait!

Hold your horses!

'Cry in my room?'

What?

Amy Summers doesn't cry over a boy! So what if I'm sad he doesn't like me! I'm going to transfer that sadness to anger!

_No, you need to grieve.- _Angel on my right shoulder.

_Grieve, schmieve! Revenge is sweet! _– devil on my left shoulder.

_No! Violence is bad. _–Angel

_Who mentioned violence? I was thinking more psychotic torture! _– Devil

_The boy is just confused Amy! _A.

_The __**boy **__is just a __**player**_. D.

I must say the devil is making more sense right now.

_That's right! _D.

What do you have in mind?

_Are you familiar with my cousin, jealousy?_

Very nice.

_NOOOOOOO! Can't we just put this behind us? _Desperate Angel.

No, we can't. Because whilst impulse sucks and revenge is sweet, Amy Summers is not one to fall down and crumble.

As I enter the common room my last thought is;

Watch out Sirius Black, there's a new kind of impulse in town!

**Welllllllllllllllllllllllll? Do ye like it? Please review/comment. I'd love to see what ye think! xxxx**

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	4. Interrupted by a,what? friend?

'Tell me what's wrong!'

'Nothing!'

'Don't lie!'

'I'm not!'

'You are!'

'Not!

'Are!'

'Not!'

'Are- that's enough!' Remus cries, exasperated.

We're in the library. Its dinner time and everyone is eating. Everyone except us. We are searching for the right spell to use on James' fat head.

I sigh. 'Look, Remus, nothing is wrong. Why do you even think there is?' I ask tiredly.

'You're not as friendly to us. You don't hang out with us after class or force Lily to stay so you can eat with us. James is getting worried-'

'Tell him not to worry,' I cut across coldly. 'I'll get him his date.'

'That's not why he's worried,' he disagreed flatly.

We stand staring each other, each with arms full of books. His sandy hair falls into his dark brown eyes. He is a couple inches taller than me and I can smell his grassy scent as we're only about a foot apart. Remus Lupin has certainly grown into himself since third year.

'Did someone say something to you about us?' he asks calmly.

I shake my head.

'Then why are you upset? And don't bother lying.' He warns quietly.

'I've just been busy. Homework is getting harder and I've got two years worth of stuff to catch up on,' I lie. The extra schoolwork isn't a problem to me. The truth is I am biding my time until I have the potion finished. Oh sorry, I forgot, you aren't aware of my evil plan.

Sirius and that girl- Hazel Jerks (What kind of name is that? Isn't Hazel a kind of nut?) Are the 'it' pair. Not technically a couple. They have an on-again off-again relationship. They both go off and shag other people but they always go back to each other. According to Maddie. She is notorious for gossip!

I would feel sorry for Hazel if she wasn't a slut. Although even sluts deserve sympathy too, don't they? And apparently she wants to make it official, but he isn't ready to date one person. She was really torn up about it, Jelly says. (They know so much about all this because they had to share a dorm with the seventh years when we first arrived back while the school sorted out accommodations for them.)

But she doesn't need to worry anymore. As is the same for every other poor could-be/ has-been victim of Sirius Black (and the way I hear it, there's a lot). I am currently in the middle of brewing a potion that will render Black's weapon of mass destruction useless for a whole two weeks! I know, not very long, but the month batch takes longer to brew and I don't have the patience. Let's see Black cope without being able to land some poor girl in his bed for so long!

Remus accepts my excuse and we go back to silent searching.

'How about this one?' he asks after a few minutes. I lean across his body to see into his book.

'No. The side-effects say possible memory loss.' I go back to my own book.

'This one?' he asks again, pointing to a different charm.

'That could work,' I nod after surveying it.

'So this is the one then-' remus is cut off by a call of

'Amy!'

'Quiet, Mr. Jones!' The creepy librarian snaps from beside a bookshelf. Matthew jumps in surprise and whispers dramatically, 'sorry.'

I giggle behind my hand at the look of pretend fright on his face. The librarian leaves and Matthew sits down beside me.

'Romulus,' he nods at remus, on my other side. I laugh again at remus' look, this time of confusion.

'It's _Remus,_' he corrects slowly.

'Sorry, Remus,' Matthew says with a smile.

'Mmm. I have to go now anyway. Y'know, tell the others about,' he holds up the spell to me, 'this. Is tomorrow ok for you, Amy? During the free period before lunch?' he checks standing up.

'Yes, Remus, fine. I'll see you later.' I smile and give him a low five as he walks past toward the exit.

'What were you guys doing?' Matthew asks, glancing at my notes.

'Wouldn't you like you to know?' I tease, gathering all the paper and stuffing them into my bag. There are twenty books still strewn across the table.

'As Head Boy, I think I have a right to know,' he says in a would be serious voice. It would be if he wasn't smiling.

'As _head boy,_ I think you should have slicked back hair and big glasses, and maybe even a tattoo on your forehead saying _'Jinx me, I'm a loser.' _I mimic his superior voice.

He laughs and nudges me. 'Never thought you'd believe stereo-types,' he jokes.

'If you're not a nerd, why are you in the library when everyone else is socialising?' I point out.

'You'd never know, it could be the same thing you're doing. Since we are _both _here,' he points out.

'I'm not a nerd,' I gasp, clutching my heart.

'Then why are you 'in the library when everyone else is socialising?' he counters.

'I- I –I' Darn! He has me cornered! 'I asked you first,' I finish lamely.

Matthew shrugs and looks away, muttering, 'I noticed you weren't in the Great Hall and I-'

'Felt the need to stalk her like a creepy perv?' a new deep voice asks pleasantly, but darkly.

Sirius Black is standing behind my chair.

I turn in my seat and stare blankly up at him. He is just staring at Matthew with a questioning expression. One eyebrow raised and a stupid mini smirk on his handsome face.

NO! Sirius Black is _not _handsome. His not-niceness ruins it for him.

'Why aren't you in the Great Hall, Mr. Black?' Matthew asks. There is a change to his voice. He is in Prefect mode.

'There's no rule saying I have to be anywhere. Why aren't you? _Mr. Jones?'_

Oh gosh. There is a LOT of Testosterone in my space.

'I actually came to find Amy,' Matthew says pleasantly, resting a hand on the arm of my chair.

'Well, coincidence. Because so did I.' And with that he pulls up a chair and sits beside me, across from Matthew. Then he drapes his arm across the back of the chair.

I need a gas-mask my space is so infected!

And who does he think he is, putting his arm so close to me?

The silence is heavy and both guys are staring each other down.

'Well, here I am. What do ye guys need?' I ask to break the tension.

'Yeah, Jones. Amy and I actually have to discuss our _plans_, so if you just tell Amy whatever it is you have to say, so we can start to work?' Sirius says pleasantly.

'Wh-I-' Matthew stares between the two of us, confused and disbelieving. I can only hope my face shows how surprised I am and that nothing is going on.

'I'll just talk to you later, Amy. In private,' he says at last.

'Matthew-' I start, but he cuts me off by hugging me quickly and then he's gone.

I cannot believe Sirius! He's tilting his chair back on two legs and looking around the library pleasantly, as if he's never been here before. I am fuming, but before I hit Sirius with a book, (a very thick one, too) I stand and take four big, heavy books into my arms. Then I stalk off to a row of shelves near the back of the huge library to return them to their place.

'So you found a spell for Prongs, then?' he says cheerfully, following me with three books of his own.

'Yes,' I say stiffly.

'Great. We can finally put our plan into action,' he says.

I snort. 'Yeah, our _plan,'_ I say scornfully.

'You seem kind of put out, Summers. Did I say something?' he asks innocently.

I shove the second book onto the shelf and spin around. 'Where's Hazel, huh? She not giving anything better to do tonight than scare away my friends?' I say between clenched teeth.

'I'm your friend,' he says evenly. 'And Hazel and I aren't together.'

'So she's not, then. Well, what? Can you not get entertainment somewhere else? From someone else?' I continue coldly.

'I'm sure I'm wrong about what it sounds like you're implying, but no, I had nothing else to do. And I'm not here to annoy you, believe it or not,' he says calmly, but underneath I can see he's getting annoyed.

'Well, gee, there must be something wrong with me, but looky here. Your _are _annoying me,' I exclaim.

'Well, sorry,' he says finally.

We stare at each other for a long time and all my anger drains out of me. His grey eyes, like storm clouds, are hurt and sincere. He stares back at me across the small space between us (there's not much space between aisles here). I wish there was a way I could stare into them forever. I wish I didn't feel connected and attracted to him. I look away from those all too expressive eyes.

'Why are you sad?' he whispers softly.

'I'm not,' I say automatically.

'You're eyes say it all, even if your mouth doesn't,' he says tenderly.

'I'm confused,' I admit. 'I don't know who you really are.'

He takes my hand and squeezes. 'Why don't you find out?' he suggests.

I look at him again and find myself nodding.

'Friends?'

'Yeah.'

That's enough for now.

* * *

**Thank you so much again to my buds that read and commented! Ye are too good to me!**

**Please review! even if you don't like some bits-or all of it:(- tell me! And if you are just joining the story, review the chap you are on! Plzzzzz**

**xxxBluexxxxx**


	5. A plan gone wrong

'Are you ready?'

We are in the charms classroom before lunch on Friday. The lazy December sun streams through the windows, and the thick glass makes it have a warmer effect on us. James is seated in front of me and Remus. I hold my wand above his head, as if it is scissors and he is about to get a (Much needed) haircut.

'I don't know if this is a-'

'Shut it Peter! We're doing this and that's that!' Sirius snaps from where he leans against the wall, scowling. He is in a very bad mood today. Madam Hooch has banned him from the next two Hogsmede visits, for reckless and inattentive flying.

'It's not my fault you're not allowed go,' Peter sulks.

'She shouldn't even be allowed to ban me from anything that isn't Quidditch! What gives her the _right_…' and he starts into the same angry rant he's been rattling out all day.

'You should be glad she _didn't _ban you from the next Quidditch Match. It's against Ravenclaw, they'll need their beater,' I point out.

'Still,' he mutters.

'Alright, just shut up. She needs to concentrate,' James says tightly. He's very nervous, I can tell from the way his body is so stiff, his shoulders and back too straight, foot tapping.

'OK, here we go,' I warn.

I take a deep breath, steady me hand and say clearly, 'Extracto.'

I can feel the magic flowing through my arm, into my fingertips curled around my wand. It's like there's a sun inside my arm, warming my bones and heating my insides. Although I must say it's a very hot sun. _Very _hot. Can you smell burni-

'OUCH! MY HEAD! STOP IT!' James roars, jumping up from his seat, knocking me onto the ground.

His head is steaming. I gasp and jump up, bashing my hand hard against a desk. I ignore the blood tricking from my knuckles and grab my wand, shouting 'Aguamenti!' while Remus cries 'that shouldn't have happened', riffling through the spellbook and Sirius tries to beat the steam from James' head with his jumper.

Jets of water shoot from my wand and onto James' head. He stops jumping and shouting. It's quiet in the room, apart from James loud gasps of breath. Peter is crouched behind the chair, watching James. Remus is standing with the spellbook clutched in his hands, watching James. Sirius is holding his singed school jumper, watching James. And I am just now starting to feel the pounding pain in my hand, while I- you guessed it- watch James.

'Say something, mate,' Sirius finally says hesitatingly.

'Would ye stop staring at me!' James bursts out.

'Sorry,' we all mutter.

He spins around and begins packing away his potions book, muttering something like 'trying to kill me' and 'I bet it didn't even work' and 'she better be worth this.' He ducks his head as he bends to pick up quills and parchment that litter the floor. I gasp and my hand flies to my mouth to stop my laughter. James looks up at me.

'What?' he snaps.

'I- your – there's a-' I can't finish my sentence. I walk around James and stand behind him. We are nearly the same height. My finger reaches out slowly to touch the back of his head, but I stop.

There is a bald patch in the middle of the back of his head.

Right there, in plain sight, you'd be blind not to see it! And the Marauders are not blind. The three had followed me to see what was wrong and were now shaking with laughter. Remus' torso is lying across a desk as he howls with laughter. Peter is laughing from the chair he hid behind moments ago. And Sirius is sliding down the wall from his previous careless lounge, to end up curled on the ground as tears roll down his face and his mouth is open with silent laughter. (So cute! –stop that!)

'What the bloody hell are ye-' he breaks off, touching the back of his head, expecting to feel his hair, but instead touching the slightly red skin of his head. His eyes widen.

'I better be wrong and there better not be a bald patch in the middle of my head,' he says calmly.

'James….there is!' I mean to say it quietly, you know, let him down easy. But it comes out as a kind of shout from between my uncontrollable laughter.

His face pales and he sinks into the nearest chair, which means he has to push Peter off. The squat boy falls to the ground in a heap. We quieten down at the look on his face.

'She'll never say yes now,' he whispers sadly, and for the first time I get a glimpse of just how much this actually means to him.

'That looks sore,' Sirius comments. I look down at my bandaged hand and shrug.

'It just stings a bit.'

'It was bleeding a lot,' Sirius says.

It turns out my 'little cut' was a bit more than that. I've broke my knuckle and had stitches in my thumb. In a way I'm glad it was painful. I feel so bad for James. He hasn't asked Lily out since breakfast and it's the last class now. Sirius spent all lunchtime trying to convince me to go to the hospitable wing. When it seemed that the bleeding really wasn't going to stop anytime soon, I agreed. And here I am, sitting on a hard hospital bed and waiting for Madam Pomfrey to come back with a permission slip to be out of classes.

'You didn't have to wait you know,' I tell him. 'Sandra seemed like she _really _needed help with that History essay,' I say, half teasing, half bitterly.

'Yeah, well, History of Magic isn't one of my better subjects. And besides, friends come before girls,' he recited.

'Gee, glad I'm not a girl,' I say sarcastically. He just laughs.

'Here you go, Ms. Summers. Just give this to professor Slughorn and remember, no stirring,' she warns firmly.

'Of course not, Ma'am. I never stir. Goodbye,' I say. I hop off the bed and hurry to the door, pulling Sirius after me. I can't get out of here fast enough.

'Someone's in a hurry to get to potions,' Sirius says sarcastically.

'Someone's in a hurry to see the Ravenclaws _in _Potions,' I say absently, descending the stairs to the dungeons.

'OK, I'll see you dinner then,' Sirius says before I open the door. I turn and smile, nodding. Then I go inside and sit next to Tessie, where she has saved me a seat and is up retrieving the needed ingredients. Sirius sits next to James, where he is staring into his cauldron, the hood of his robes pulled up just enough to hide the back of his head. I feel a pang of guilt at his depressed state.

'Oh, hi Amy!' Tessie greets, coming back with an armful of bottles.

'Hey, sorry I'm late. Bit of an accident.' I hold up my hand for explanation. She eyes it and sighs, but doesn't question me.

We work in silence from then on. Tessie seems nervous, fidgety. I wonder what's wrong with her. She'll tell me what's wrong when she's ready I suppose.

Purple steam rises from our cauldron, a sign that we're on the right track. It smells like blackberries and I breathe it in deeply.

'Er, Amy,' Tessie begins finally, uncomfortably.

'Mm?' I breathe, lost in the sweet scent.

'I'm not going to be able to help you study for Herbology tomorrow,' she says apologetically.

I look up at her in surprise. Tessie never bails in anything. Especially not on a friend in need. I'm getting Acceptable and higher in everything…except Herbology. A Troll in my last test of that I'm afraid.

'Why?' I ask. She looks away awkwardly. Has she other plans? With other friends?

'Ihivanane,' she mutters.

'What?'

'Ihivanane,' she repeats blushing.

'_Sorry?' _

**A/N: slash( / ) means said at the same time.**

'I have a date!'**/ **'Potter, you're prematurely bald!'

The whole class erupts into laughter at the latter statement.

Several things happen at once: The bell rings, ending the class.

Tessie mumbles 'TTYL', blushing madly and legging it out the door.

James leaps at Snape and is held back by Sirius and Remus.

Lily forces her way from the room, before she can be dragged into the middle of things.

And I make my way to the scuffle that is breaking out and that God knows Slughorn can't control. As I force my way between a now angry Sirius and Snape, I think

_A date with WHO? _

Henry Murphy? No

Jasper Arrigan? _No_

Colin Delly? Euch! Um no!

Who can it be?

So much for a good night sleep tonight.

I sit up in bed, frustrated. I can't think of anyone good enough for Tessie and I never got a chance to talk to her after potions. Why? Well because after dinner I had a _double _detention! Fun, eh? I'm a lucky girl. Sure, I could've pointed out I had nothing to do with it, but what would that say about me?

I look out at the grounds from my bed by the window. I can see the Whomping Willow perfectly. I put me elbow on the window sill and rest my chin in my palm. It's just recently this place has started to feel like home again. And after two years of helping an escaped convict that _I _helped bust out- no. Not thinking about it now.

I sigh and flop down onto my pillow. I am drifting into a light sleep when I feel something sharp poking my left ear. I grunt and open one eye. A paper plane enchanted to fly is hovering by my ear. I unfold it and written in a familiar elegant script is:

_Andrew Collins. _

Ah.

'Well have fun,' I encourage Tessie, giving her a hug.

'Are you sure you don't want to come? We don't mind,' Tessie assures me.

'No,' Maddie says firmly.

'You are going on this date _with that gorgeous boy_ over there _on your own,'_ Jelly says, her Scottish accent revealing itself when she puts emphasize on words she considers 'important.'

'Yeah,' I agree. 'And _ye_,' I shove the two towards the path that leads to two more handsome boys, 'should take your own advice. Go on, have fun,' I nudge again.

'Alright,' they laugh. They all hug me and start towards the boys that await. Tessie looks over her shoulder at me nervously as she reaches Andrew. I smile encouragingly at her and gesture for her to turn around. She does and is greeted by a kiss on the cheek from Andrew. Aw!

I head back to the lake where Sirius and I were studying before I saw the girls off, smiling. I feel happy and sad. Happy that they are going to have fun. Sad because I'm not.

'Hey,' Sirius says softly as I sit. He must notice I'm not really into study today. 'Oi, aren't you supposed to be getting to know me today?' he nudges me.

'Oh, yeah,' I smile genuinely. Maybe today won't be too bad after all.

**Did you like it? Tell me! Review me! Plzzzzzz! xxxxxx**

**Ps the bond is coming up soon! Awwww! **


	6. Getting to know you

'OK, start with something simple. Favourite colour?' I ask, settling myself at the foot of the big tree beside him.

'Red. What's yours?' he questions.

'Ah, ah, ah. I'm the one asking the questions here! –You'll just have to wait for your turn!' I say teasingly when he tries to object.

'Fine, next question,' he pouts.

'When's your birthday?'

'The seventeenth of October. Can I at least ask you when yours is?' he asks hopefully.

I allow him this one. 'Fourteenth of February.' I tell him in a rush, hoping he won't notice. No such luck.

'Valentine's Day?' he asks sceptically, an eyebrow raised. Seeing my ashamed blush he says stupidly, 'Really?'

'Yes, yes. Now, next question. Favourite season?' I ask hurriedly, eager to get the topic of my ridiculous birthday out of the way.

'Autumn.'

'Favourite food?'

'Droobles.'

The small, unimportant questions continued. Things like 'hot or cold?' (hot) and day or night? (day). Things to help me understand him better. I also noticed small things about him. He had a very bark-like laugh. And when he laughed, he put his whole his body into it. There was nothing false about his laugh. He threw his head back and I got the impression he enjoyed laughing. Like each time he was savouring the funny moment, making the best of it. I loved his laugh.

'Where did you grow up?'

'London,' he says tightly.

I am not going to ask about his family. I already know. Everyone already knows, thanks to the multiple howlers he was sent in first and second year. He hates his mother, and while he swears left right and centre that she wants to see him rot in a cave for eternity, I doubt it. No mother can feel that way toward their child. They might not _like _him, but they have to _love _him. Right?

He must be really good at divination, because he says, quietly, 'You know what my family thinks of me. And yes, I know your theory about a mother's love and all that bull- Remus told me- but believe me, it's not there. I think it was left out when she was manufactured,' he adds jokingly. I laugh, but not for his joke. For him. I am fast seeing that Sirius Black _needs _laughter.

'Did you ever have any-' he interrupts me.

'No, you got your twenty questions. It's my turn to ask you a few.' He grins cheekily at me. This can't lead to anything safe. He too starts off easy.

'Your favourite colour?' he asks haughtily.

'Dark blue,' I sigh.

'Favourite flowers?' he asks.

I laugh. 'Why? Are you planning on needing this fact someday?'

He winks. 'You never know! Just answer.'

I sigh again. 'Daffodils,' I tell him.

'Hm. Most girls would say roses.' He says thoughtfully. This irritates me.

'So you ask every girl you meet her favourite flowers?' I ask in a false sweet voice.

He rolls his eyes. 'No, we had to do a survey thingy for divination last year. We had to predict their favourite flowers. Me and James just put down roses for every single girl! And we were right…. except for Evans,' he stops laughing and his face takes on a pensive look.

'What did she say?' I ask.

'Orchids,' he says.

'Oh,' I say absently.

After a few minutes he continues. 'Day or night?'

'I don't know. Cool things happen at both times. In the day you can do stuff in the light. At night you can look at the stars,' I say thoughtfully.

'Nothing great about stars,' he grumbles.

I look at him, his frowning face. 'I like stars,' I say softly. He looks over and smiles sadly at me.

'I don't,' he whispers.

'Next question, then,' I whisper back. I've just seen a softer, vulnerable side of Sirius. I wonder if I'll ever see it again.

'Right,' he jerks his gaze away from mine and instead looks out at the lake, frowning slightly. Finally he speaks. 'Where did _you _grow up? I know you're Irish. It's kind of obvious, with an accent like that,' he grins.

'I'll take that as a compliment,' I say lightly.

'Good, because it was one. I like your accent,' he simply.

'Thanks – but, hey, is that noticeable?' I ask worriedly.

'Don't worry,' he comforts. 'You just have a tendency to say 'meh' instead of my. It's cute though. Your accent reminds me of the wind, strong and powerful,' he says quietly. I blush.

'Thanks. Um, so, yeah, I grew up in Galway, in the west of Ireland, near the coast. Our house was near the beach, but it was a small little one, so it didn't have many tourists. It was like it was our own personal little hideaway, mine and Paul's,' I say, smiling, remembering.

'It sounds cool. Who's Paul?' he asks.

'My brother. He's nineteen. He's training to be an auror,' I say proudly. I love my brother.

'Cool. That's what I want to do,' he tells me. 'What do you want to be?'

'An auror, like Paul.'

'Did you have any pets?' he asks.

'Yep, and she's still alive. She's a golden retriever. Her name's _Cailin.' _**(Pronounced **_**call-een.**_**) **

'Is that Irish?'

'Yes, it's gaelige for 'Girl'. **(Pronounced g-wail-ge).**

'Cool. So, let's see. Ah, yes. What are your family's beliefs?' he asks sourly.

I sigh. 'We've been blood-traitors for the last three generations,' I tell him seriously. He looks taken aback.

'You didn't have to tell me. I didn't mean it,' he whispers. I just shrug.

'How long have you known your friends?' he asks.

'We met on the train, in the first compartment, on the first of September, in first year.' I remember the day. The three were bonding over their love of chocolate frogs when I entered, having nearly missed the train because Cailin had stolen my wand, (she _really_ didn't want me to leave.)

'Why did you leave school for two years?' He tries to be casual, but his poor attempt makes me laugh. I had a feeling this would come up.

'I don't think you would believe me if I told you,' I say wryly.

'I think you'll find that I have _quite_ the belief span,' he pushes eagerly.

'I don't think your 'belief span' quite covers my story,' I laugh.

'So there's a _story _to it, eh? I bet that'd be quite the story!' he says in a weird accent.

'Why are you talking like that?' I ask, puzzled.

'I'm trying to sound Irish. Working?' he asks hopefully.

I shake my head, exasperated. 'Sure.'

'Come on, Amy. Why not tell me?'

'Why do you want to know?' I counter. He just looks at me with puppy dog eyes.

'Don't you trust me?' he whines.

I look away uncomfortably. I really don't want to answer that question. I look anywhere but him. I look out towards the castle, to the third story window where I'm nearly sure James has detention with Lily today. She got him for dangerous behaviour in the corridor. He was trying to charm Peter's bag to follow him around in the air, but instead of floating along behind him, it kept whacking anyone with blonde hair in the head. I got the bad end of the stick in that situation.

'Do you?' he breathes quietly.

'It's not that I don't trust you, Sirius. It's just that I made a promise that I wouldn't tell anyone,' I explain in a whisper.

'A promise to who?'

I bite my lip. Is not telling whose promise it is part of the promise? I don't think so. Then again, best be on the safe side.

'No one,' I say firmly. Before he can argue I pull myself to my feet. 'It's getting cold out, I'm going to go inside,' I turn and start up the path that will lead me to the warm library. Except I don't hear anyone behind me, so I peek over my shoulder. He's standing at the foot of the tree, looking unsure.

'Hey,' I call softly. 'I'm gonna need some help to get at least an acceptable in the next herbology test. Any volunteers?' I pretend to look around. 'Mr. black?' I do my best Grubbly Planks imitation. His lips twitch, but he refuses to smile. 'Please?' I beg. He purses his lips before sighing.

'I suppose,' he says in an overly dramatic voice, before jogging up to beside me and taking me bag, swinging it over his shoulder.

Aw, what a gentleman!

* * *

'Well, how did it go?' I attack Tessie as soon as she steps into the girls labratories.

She leans against the sink and looks down at her skirt, tugging at the short hem. She's smiling slightly. Finally she looks up, shrugs and mumbles, 'Good.'

'Good?' i ask disbelievingly. '_Good? _Please, tessie, you're killing me here. Give me more,' i prod.

'More what?' she sighs.

'Gee, I don't know..._ words?'_ This time she smiles a big smile and before I know it, she's crushing my ribs as she hugs me.

'I'm so glad Amy, that while some things-in fact a lot of things- have changed, you havn't. You're still the same!' she cries.

I blink. 'Um, thanks?'

'Amy, the date was brillant. He was brillant! he was so nice! We're going out again next week!' she says excitedly.

'Aw, I'm so happy for you! Did you kiss him?' I ask.

'No, but he kissed my cheek three times and he kissed my hand when the date was over! Maddie and Jelly are gone back to the common room, but their dates went great too. Now, when you get a boyfriend, we can all go out together! It'll be so cool! Have you got your eye on anyone?'

'Me? Nah,' I sigh. 'Guess I just have to wait and see how things go.'

'With who? Sirius? I know you like him,' she says. Now I avoid her eyes.

'No I don-' I break off seeing her 'no nonscense' look. 'Alright, a little bit. But there's no point in looking for anthing more than friendship. He's not interested,' I state. It sounds a little sad, even to my ears.

'Did he_ say_ he's not interested?' she questions.

'No, but Maddie said-'

'Forget what Maddie said. She doesn't know anything,' Tessie declares.

'She's our best friend!' I object.

'I know, but she doesn't understand these kind of things. She believes what she hears without question. I don't believe all the crap that's said about Black. Some of it? Yes. But not all of it. So don't you go believing it either.' She warns.

I laugh. 'You want me to go getting my heart broke?' I tease. She smiles, but there's a seriousness in her eyes.

'No, I want you to take a chance.'

'You make it sound I'm constantly playing it safe,' i accuse bitterly.

'Oh, believe me, I know you're wild and reckless. The plan wouldn't have worked if you weren't,' she chuckled fondly.

'Sirius has been asking about it,' I tell her nervously. She just nods her head.

'Yeah, I'm sure he has,' she says tiredly.

'What will I tell him if he keeps asking?' I wonder aloud.

'If you trust him, you can tell him the truth,' she says simply.

'I don't know if I trust him _that _much yet,' I laugh.

'Well, whenever you think. I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrrow'

'Bye bye,' I say, hugging her. Well, now I've got to go to bed. Or should I say 'Now I've got to go lie in my bed and think about Sirius Black all night'?

Yeah, that's probably more accurate.

**Well, there's chapter 6! Thanks to TwinzLover and ScarletSunshine for reviewing and helping me! And thanks to all who favourited! While Ireally appreciate that too, plz review aswell! **

**Hope you enjoyed that chapter! Xxxxxxxxxxxxx**


	7. You Wuss!

Today is Wednesday, the 4th of December. Christmas is in 21 days. Christmas Eve is in 20 days. The Christmas Ball is in 20 days. I do not have a date. Yet.

Andrew asked Tessie yesterday. Maddie was asked by Connor Davis this morning. Only Jelly and I remain unasked. But word has it Shawn Windsor was practising asking out Connor Davis in the boy laboratory during lunch. Only a matter of time before he asks Jelly. That is assuming it'll be Jelly he asks. He has to. He's already snogged the life out of her behind the statue of the Hag. Twice. And unless he's found a new interest boys, he never even so much as _looks _at other girls.

I am sitting in the library during my free last class with Lily. I watch the rain hammer the windows fiercely, then lose their power and slosh messily down the glass. It's depressing weather, only adding to my date trauma. I heave a heavy sigh.

'Don't see why you're so wound up about this Ball. Doesn't seem that big a deal to me,' Lily says, not looking up from her potions book.

'Yes, well, _you_'ve got a date,' I point out.

'Hm, yes. I'm a very lucky girl,' she snorts sarcastically. 'Shane McLaggen is quite the turn on.'

'Actually, he is. Or at least Maura Bell seems to think so,' I say slyly. Getting a rise from lily is much better than an essay on the Flobberworm Race.

'I couldn't care any less about what Maura Bell thinks,' she replies boredly. Sad thing? She really doesn't.

'You don't give an owl's arse about Mac Laggen, do you?' I accuse.

'Honestly? Shane is a really nice guy…..but no. He's not the one,' she whispers sadly. I look up her sharply.

'What do you mean 'not the one?'' I ask.

She just shrugs and pulls her legs up onto the chair, resting her knees on them and looking out at the lashing rain.

'Do you like someone else?' I push.

Lily sniffs and shrugs again. Poor Lily. She looks so sad. I get up and kneel on the ground beside her chair. I am the same height as her. I am a giant!

'Don't be sad, Lil. Do you want to talk about it?' I ask gently, putting my arm around her.

'I'm not telling you who it is,' she mutters before wiping her nose on her sleeve. I smile weakly. Typical Lily.

'Alright, go on,' I urge her.

'He's an arse!' she suddenly bursts out, before breaking down into tears.

'Oh, sweetie,' I whisper, hugging her tightly.

'H-h-he doesn't even c-c-care about anything! All he cares about is himself and his stupid reputation! And he's so obviously not perfect, but he insists on trying to be! It drives me mental,' she complains. She wipes her nose on her sleeve again. I pull out a tissue and pull up a chair and prepare for a long conversation.

* * *

'Where were you?' James asks as I sit down in the Great Hall.

'Nowhere,' I answer.

'We haven't seen you since Transfiguration yesterday. What were you doing?' Remus asks.

'I was in the library,' I avoid their gazes.

'The library closes at eight, you couldn't hav-'

'I was studying, Peter, ok?' I snap. Why are they interrogating me? So I wasn't spending one evening trying to find a way to make James understand Ancient Runes. Big deal.

'I was just saying,' Peter mutters.

'Yeah, well I don't need you to say anything,' I huff.

'Hey, if Amy was studying, then she was studying. Stop jumping all over her,' Sirius cuts in. Peter casts his eyes down to his toast, uncomfortable and embarrassed at being scolded by Sirius. I smile gratefully at Sirius. Last night was a long night. Lily was a wreck. I had to stay up all night rubbing her back. And when she fell asleep, I still couldn't. She snores like a lawnmower! How did I never notice before?

A silencing charm didn't even_ muffle _the noise.

'Amy, can I as-' Sirius breaks off, frowning behind him.

'Hey, Amy!' I look around and see Matthew walking down the aisle toward me.

I smile weakly at him. Is there no end to the tormenting of cute guys for a hormonal teenage girl? Honestly. First, my new friends just happen to be the Mauraders, four very cute guys. Well, three and a half cute guys. Peter doesn't really count…. I'm not 100 per cent sure he _is _a guy. But, back to the point. Then, I become closest to the best-looking one of them. And now another handsome under-eighteen-year-old is settling himself beside me. Ugh! How I avoid sweat patches, I do not know. Maybe it's because of the cold December weather? Oh no, does that mean that in March when it gets warm again I'll be sweating like a fountain? Aw, man!  
'Are you looking forward to the Christmas Ball?' Matthew asks, taking a bite of my croissant. Oi! My croissant! Oh, God. I feel like Gollum….

'It sounds fun. But I don't know if I'm going.' I answer.

'What? Don't tell me you weren't asked by anyone,' Matthew says.

'No, I was,' I mutter, looking away. Sirius catches my eyes. His eyes are shooting daggers at Matthew, and I'd say Matthew knows. His posture is stiff and uncomfortable. Sirius' knuckles are white and I am worried for his goblet of pumpkin juice.

'Well, why aren't you going then?' Matthew pushes.

'I said I didn't know if I was or not. I might be.' It's hard not to snap at Matthew too right now. I am tired and I want to go to bed right now, not double history. I remind myself that it's not Matthews fault and keep my voice calm. 'Who are you going with?'

He makes a face. 'Caroline Donovan.'

'You like her?' I ask, surprised. 'I mean, she's nice but she…' I trail off, before I put my foot in it.

'Looks like a pug? Yeah I know. Believe me, she's not my first choice. Or my second,' he assures me.

'Then why…..?'

'Heads have to go to these kinds of things together. It puts out a good front,' he explains.

'Oh, ok,' I say.

'It's a pity though. We would've had fun,' he says absently.

'What?' Sirius snaps, before I can say anything. I look at Matthew, confused. He looks blank for a second, then his face reddens and he ducks his head, embarrassed.

'I didn't mean…anything. Just that…' he stammers under Sirius' hard gaze. He rubs the back of his neck. It is so awkward and I feel so bad for Matthew.

'I have to go. If I'm late for history, Binns will give me detention. See ye later.' I gather my stuff and hurry out, without Sirius, who I have history with. And sit beside….Crap! I'm sure he'll question me about what Matthew was talking about. I don't even know what Matthew was talking about it. Crap!

When I get to history, I am the first person there. I look at my watch. It is quarter to nine. I have fifteen minutes. With a sigh, I sit on the floor, leaning against the wall. So much confusion for just one girl. I thought my life would be easier coming back here. Simpler. No such luck.

'Ahem.'

I look up from the spot of wooden floor I am staring at. Ah, great! I just want to look right back down again. It's Mr. Black. And he looks very serious.

'May I?' He gestures to the ground next to me. Well, I can't exactly say no, can I? I settle for a nod.

He takes a deep breathe, holds it, then slowly lets it out.

'Do you like Jones?' he says in a rush.

'Matthew is my friend,' I whisper.

He sighs. 'Were you supposed to be going to the Ball together?'

I laugh tiredly. 'No. I don't even know why he said that. And, anyway, he probably didn't mean it like it,' I shrug.

'Really?' Sirius looks speculative.

'What?

'What do _you _think meant?' he pushes.

'That… he would've had more fun with his friends than with old pug-face Caroline,' I say. I frown. 'What do _you _think he meant?'

'That he wants to be going with you- as more than just friends,' he clarifies with me, as if it's obvious.

'I guess you got it wrong,' I say.

'So you don't like him?' Sirius pushes.

'Not in that way. I mean, he _is _gorgeous- you'd be blind not to see that. But we've been friends for so long, I know him really well. I know that we wouldn't be good together,' I blabber on.

'What _would _be good for you?' Sirius asks.

I shrug. 'I don't really know what I want, to be honest. But I do know that, while Matthew is great, he's too serious for me. Really up-tight, you know?'

'That's prefects for you,' Sirius smirks.

'Remus is a prefect,' I remind him.

He smiles widely at me. 'Yeah, but he's got us to keep him in line,' Sirius winks. I laugh.

'What'd you want to ask me earlier?' I ask, as people start to crowd into the corridor. They give us curious looks.

'Later,' he says, standing up as Binns' hand appears through the door, beckoning us inside.

Ghosts really creep me out!

* * *

I sit in Potions, the last class of the day. I watch Tessie add seven drops of a horrible-smelling, thick green liquid to our cauldron. This potion is acidic, so we've decided its best I don't handle anything that could burn through our skin. This is dragon urine, and it'll burn through the first three layers of skin before you can say 'crystallized pineapple cubes.' Well, according to Professor Slughorn.

I stifle a yawn as Slughorn walks past our bench. He nods approvingly at what we're brewing. Just as he bounces past James and Sirius' bench, a note appears in front of me.

_I don't have anyone to go with either._

I look around at Sirius, who is watching me. I hold the scrap of parchment inconspicuously toward him. 'From you?' I mouth. He nods. I turn back around and write.

**I find that hard to believe. What about Hazel? **

With a flick of my wand, it lands in front of him. I see him roll his eyes and pick up his quill.

_How many times must I tell you this? We're not together. I don't like her. … I like someone else. _

**Who?**

_I think you have an idea. But _never_ mind right now. What do you think?_

**Of what? **

_Do. You. Think. We. Should. Go. Together. ?_

**Really? **Really? Really? Really? Really?

_Why not? As two friends who don't have anyone else. I'd be doing you a favour; you'd be doing me one. Neither of us would have to show up alone…._

I don't reply to his last note.

Because he doesn't have anyone else to go with? _He'd _be doing _me _a favour? Who does he think he is? Who does he think _I _am? Some poor little girl with no one to go with? Does he feel bad for me? I can't believe his pigheadedness! When the bell rings for the end of the day, I just stalk out of class, without so much as looking at him.

!

_Sirius POV_

'I guess she just doesn't like me, lads.' I flop down onto my bed, grabbing my pillow as I do, covering my face with it. I don't want to see the world. The cruel, cruel, world.

'What is wrong with you, mate? Are you blind? Of course she does!' Peter assures me. His eyes look like they are about to pop out of his head, he's so enthusiastic. I smile weakly.

'No offence, Wormy, but you're word on girls doesn't mean much to me,' I say dryly.

'Yeah, well I'm not Wormtail, I'm Prongs. Do you hear me? I AM PRONGS! And I _do _know about girls! And I'm telling you mate, she likes you!' James says adamantly form his bed.

'Yeah? You know about girls? That must be why Lily always says yes!' I say sarcastically. James scowls.

'You know what, Sirius? Sod it! I'm just trying to help. And you're so grateful, aren't you?' he says coldly, before continuing. 'No! You're not! You're acting like a girl with PMS! So buck up and listen to me when I tell you, because I will NOT say it again! Amy Summers likes you! You like her! So stop being a wuss and Ask. Her. out!' He then pushes me towards the door.

'Don't bother coming back until you do!'

Then the door is shut in my face.

Nice!

**This is a nice long chapter! hope ye like it! Review! Thanks to ScandaliousIntentions and TwinzLover and, as always, ScarletSunshine! Ye are the bomb! xxxxxxx**

**Love Blue! xxxxxxxxxxx**


	8. Miscommunionications

_Amy POV_

I sit on my bed, biting my lip. I am debating whether or not to go down for breakfast. I don't want to see _him. _

'Amy, this is ridiculous! Come on!' Lily says impatiently form the door. I shake my head. When I first explained the situation to her, she understood. But now she's hungry, so she wants to go. And she doesn't want to go on her own, because she doesn't want to be caught by James.

'I know you're pissed at Sirius and you have every right to be but-'

I hold up a hand solemnly. 'Lily, please, do not say that name,' I say calmly.

'Sirius,' she draws out slowly.

'Lily,' I repeat, a little more sternly.

'Sir-ee-us,' she taunts.

I feel the saintly patience mask slide off my face and I scowl. 'Stop, saying, that, cursed, NAME!' I shout.

We are both quiet for a minute. We stare at each other, testing each other's limits. I start to turn, satisfied that she won't say anything else about_ him_.

'Gee, I never knew the name Sirius could trigger such bad PMS,' she says, deliberately and clearly. Then she walks out the door.

I sprint after her. I'm going to get her!

!

_Lily POV_

I legit out the door. I forget about the stairs that lead down into the common room and trip. I slide down them on my bum, making an 'Oof!' sound as my poor bottom bounces off each step. As I reach the ground at the bottom, I bash my head off the bottom step.

'Ouch,' I groan. I rub the back of my head. I hear muffled laughter from the top of the stairs. Oh, so miss sunshine thinks she can laugh, does she? I smile sweetly up at her.

'Sirius.'

I hop up and sprint to the portrait hole, throwing my body out and banging into a second year on the other side. 'Sorry!' I yell over my shoulder as I carry on running. I see the messy blond head appear and focus my eyes in front of me. Good thing too, because I've reached the main stairs. Forty-nine steps until the bottom. I take them two at a time, as fast as I can without falling again.

'_What _are you at?' Mary shouts, catching sight of me, Amy not far behind. Nearly everyone is staring. I don't care. If it makes her smile, it's worth being labelled 'crazy'. And I can hear her laugh from behind.

'I warn you, Curves, I'm in hot pursuit!' she yells.

'Are you _SIRIUS?' _I shout back, laughing.

'Watch it!' a hufflepuff sixth year spits as I bump her. Her friends throw me dirty looks.

I reach the fifth step from the bottom and jump the last ones. I stumble at the bottom before getting my balance. I turn, a big smile on my face. Amy is caught in the gang of sour hufflepuffs.

'Sorry, s'cuse me!' she gasps. I start to make my way into the great hall, panting and clutching a stitch in my side. Everyone turns to stare. I try to control my breathing and not blush. Just as I take my first step in the direction of the Gryffindor table, something bashes into me, hard. I fall to the ground, and so does whatever that was.

'Oh, sorry!' it exclaims.

'Get _off,_ Amy!' I gasp. She rolls off me and I sit up. We look at each other, testing each other's reactions. Then we burst out laughing. So does the rest of the Great Hall. I've never ran so much in my life!

_Amy POV_

I struggle to get up, finding it hard because I'm laughing so much. I haven't run that much since I got back here! The laughter in the Great Hall doesn't attract my attention until I hear one specific laugh. One I know quite well. A very contagious, bark-like laugh. Grr….. _him. _

'Oh, no you don't! You think I went through all that so you could hide in a charms classroom?' Lily grabs my elbow and pulls me to the Gryffindor table. I avoid Sirius' gaze and sit beside Remus.

'Pass the jam,' I say, not looking up from the Potions homework I'm copying off Remus. A hand holds up the jar and I take it. Whoever this hand belongs to is a bit too friendly. Why won't their pinky let go of mine? Why is it squeezing?

'Hey!' I exclaim when they twist my finger. I look up and glare.

'Do you mind _not _snapping my finger, Black?' I growl. He glares back at me.

'Not at all, Summers.' He tries to imitate my unfriendly tone, but I can see the hurt in his eyes. Hurt, eh? Why? It's not like he can't find someone else. All he needs is some other girl to hang off his arm and laugh at his jokes at the Ball.

'Let go then.' He just looks at me through narrowed eyes. 'What, Black?' I sigh, tired.

He frowns, looking confused for a second, before shrugging and saying, 'Just thought you might like to know that you're making dust out of your toast.'

I look down. 'Ugh!' While I was having my charming conversation with Black, my elbow was making a nest out of my breakfast! I wipe the butter off the elbow of my jumper and sigh. This is going to be a long morning.

'Someone pass me another slice of toast.'

* * *

'Hello.'

I look up. Hm.

'Hello James,' I say neutrally.

'How are you?' he asks.

'I have bad PMS. How are you?' I say, playing along. His eyebrows furrow.

'Average. Nice weather today, huh?' he says.

'It's lashing,' I say matter-of-factly.

'Oooooof course it is,' he drawls. I sigh and close my book.

'What is it you need?' I say, getting tired of the act.

'A date to the Ball,' he says nervously.

'You're in luck, the James Potter fan club meets on Thursdays. Just head down to the fifth floor girls laboratories. I'm sure you'll find someone.' I smile sweetly at him, and then turn back to my book.

'Alright, I'll rephrase. What I really meant was: I need to find a way to get lily to go the Ball with me. Please help me!' he begs.

'I don't know…' I test, watching him form the corner of my eye.

'Please,' he moans, falling to his knees. He crawls to my chair and throws his head into my lap.

'Uh, James,' I say, looking around.

'I'll do anything.'

'Heh heh. He just…..dropped something,' I say to the people around us. Yeah, he dropped something….dangerously close to my fanny! Oh gosh! 'James, people are staring!' I snap in a whisper.

'Let them. Let them all know that I'm alone!' His howl is muffled by my legs. I am getting annoyed now. Am I seeing red? No, that's ginger hair…Oh gosh, she'll kill him!

'Jay-'

'What are you doing, Potter?' Lily shrieks. His head shoots up. 'Stop molesting her!'

'No, I'm not!' he protests quickly. But his hands are still resting in my lap.

'PRONGS! What kind of a mate are you?' a new voice shouts. Sirius is standing in the portrait hole, frozen, a look of disbelieving anger on his face and torture in his eyes.

'Sirius, I swear, I'm not- '

'You know what's going on! With me! And you- you still- with her-….I'm going to murder you!' he roars, making a leap at James. He tackles him to the floor and starts punching him repeatedly in the stomach.

'Stop!' I snap out of my haze and grab Sirius by the shoulders. He struggles to get out of my grip, and I nearly lose him, but Peter grabs him as well. 'Sirius, please! Just stop!' I yell, shoving against his chest. He looks down at me angrily and I stare into his eyes. 'Please,' I repeat in a whisper.

His body sags and he collapses into my armchair.

'What was happening?' Peter squeaks. I glare at him. Bad moment, much?

'I was asking her for help with- with- well, you know what with,' James inclines his head towards Lily, who is still clinging to his arm, which she had had to hold to help him up from the ground.

'And then he sort of had an emotional break-down,' I add, my voice shaking. What the hell is with Sirius?

'Yeah,' James mutters, blushing.

'I had to comfort him,' I say finally.

'That's all, mate,' James says earnestly.

Sirius nods. 'Sorry, Prongs.'

'It's fine. I think I'm going to go to the hospital wing, coming Wormtail? Moony, you need to go meet that Collins girl and ask her to the Ball. Oh, speaking of which, Padfoot, where are you sleeping tonight? Our room, or the History corridor?' he says with a small smirk, that looks almost challenging.

The two seem to have a silent conversation. Once, James shrugs and inclines his head to the window. Finally Sirius nods.

'Our room, I should think,' he says, almost nervously.

'Great. Well then, we shall be off. Amy, Sirius is going for a walk around the lake. You should go with him,' James says, winking at Sirius.

'I don't think so,' I say quickly, dropping my hand from where it had subconsciously been resting on Sirius' shoulder. James sighs.

'Just go,' he orders.

'Hey, Potter, she doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to- '

James bends down and whispers in Lily's ear. 'Ah,' she breathes. Then, with a cheeky smile at me and a wink at Sirius, she says, 'You better go.' They then leave and I'm left with him.

I look at him. He's staring out the window.

I clear my throat. 'Are we going?' I ask.

He looks at me and nods, but doesn't make any move to go.

'Well, lead the way then,' I prod. He smiles at me.

'Alright, come on.'

!

When we reach the lake, after a short walk filled with silence, we stop. I look out at the Castle. It's magnificent.

'Ok, I know you're mad at me, and I suppose I can understand that,' Sirius begins.

'Well, Sirius, if someone said they'd go somewhere with you, as a favour to you so you wouldn't have to look bad, even though you never even said you had a problem, would be mad?' I throw at him.

'Yes, I would. But I didn't mean it like that! It just came out that way,' he defends himself.

'Well, what did you mean? And why did you have to ask me to go with you?'

'Because I wanted to go with _you_,' he says, stepping closer.

'Yeah, but why? Because we're good friends? So it won't be awkward? So you could have fun with someone who wouldn't expect anymore from you when the night was over?' I say, angry and a bit hurt. Saying these aloud make them seem more of a possibility.

'No! BecauseI _like you_!' He says angrily.

'Well- '

'NO! Just listen! I like you, ok? As more than just friends. And I was too scared to ask you properly because I thought you'd say no- you're so different from most of the other girls! And when I thought you were mad because you thought I was ruining our friendship, it was terrible! I'd never actually cared before! And I don't know if we're good together or not, but I want to find out. Do you?' he asks, very seriously, holding my eyes.

Um. What do you say to that? Well, I guess yes or no…..

I take a deep breath and say…

* * *

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	9. I'm not vain!

'Yes.'

'Yes!' Sirius whoops, starting toward me with a huge grin. I hold up a hand. He stops, still smiling goofily. He looks so cute. Ahem, back to business.

'The Ball is three weeks away, Sirius. In that time, you can't cheat on me, ok? I mean it, Sirius. Do and that's it.' I warn sternly.

He walks slowly up to me and looks at me. His stormy grey eyes are sincere and happy. 'I would _never _cheat on you,' he assures me. I think I believe him. I nod and smile for the first time since agreeing.

He takes my hand and starts to lead me up the path to the castle. His hand is warm and my hand is tingling from the contact. Huh. I held hands with Daniel McAvoy in second year, and my hand didn't tingle.

'So, I guess this means you're my girlfriend,' Sirius says lightly, casually. I look at him. I catch him watching me from the corner of his eye. I laugh as he hurriedly turns his gaze ahead.

'I don't know,' I say. 'Do you want it to?' I ask.

He nods his head quickly. 'Yeah,' he mutters.

'Well then, I suppose I could try to commit to you. But you know, it could be hard for me,' I warn teasingly. 'Girls of my type don't usually stick to one colour nail polish.'

He looks at me, amused. 'And what _type _are you?'

'Oh, you know; the gorgeous, attractive, popular, funny and amazingly witty type,' I say airily. He laughs.

'Then I guess I'm one lucky bottle of polish,' he says.

I smirk. 'Damn right you are.'

* * *

It's after dinner and Lily and I are heading back to the common room from the library, after finishing a very long essay for Defence against the Dark Arts. I am swamped. And I have this nervous/excited feeling in my tummy. Sirius is in the Common Room. I wonder how he'll greet me. Will he ignore me, trying to be cool? My stomach sinks imagining that. Or, will he be overly friendly and cheesy? Both those options are pretty embarrassing. But Sirius doesn't seem like the type to be hopelessly romantic.

'Mandrake Draught,' Lily says. The portrait swings open and we step inside. The common room is filled with people, all squashed in. I scan the room, and spot Sirius in the furthest corner. He's lying on a squashy couch, leaving poor Peter next to no room at his end. The rest of the Marauders must know that we're now, sort of 'together'. Remus spots us and elbows Sirius. Sirius waves us over.

Lily huffs and mutters to me, 'If he wasn't you're new boyfriend, I wouldn't come.' I smile at her.

When we reach them, Sirius is struggling to push Peter off the couch, but Peter is holding on with all he has.

'Wormtail, you mong, get up,' Sirius hisses.

'Hi,' I chirp. I hesitate and then say, 'We'll just get more chairs. Here Lily, help me drag this couch,' I point to an empty one further away.

'No, Amy! You- **pant**- can-** pant**- sit- **pant-** HERE!' Sirius finally succeeds in shoving Peter onto the ground. He pushes his hair out of his eyes and flops back against the couch. I giggle at Peter, sprawled out on the carpet, his arse sticking up in the air. Poor guy never gets a break.

I sit next to Sirius, tucking my legs under me and leaning my elbow on the armrest. Sirius smiles at me, and I smile back. He reaches over and takes hold of my left hand, intertwining our fingers. Its amazing how reassuring a simple gesture like that can be.

Meanwhile, Lily doesn't seem as comfortable with her arrangement.

'Here, Evans, sit beside me,' James says over Remus' head. The three of them are on the larger couch, Remus in the middle.

'What?' Lily says disdainfully.

'I said, you should sit here.' He pats the tiny space between himself and remus.

'No thanks, Potter,' she snorts. James frowns.

'Why not? I don't smell,' he says, confused.

'Yes, you do,' Peter contradicts, his nose wrinkled, as he sits at James' feet.

'Shut up you, you're named after a rat!' James kicks him in the ribs with a socked foot.

'Ugh, there you go again with that stinking foot!' Peter yelps, scooting away from James.

'Oh, you don't like it, Wormy?' James asks innocently. He sounds like he really cares.

'No, I don't,' Peter agrees.

'It really annoys you, Wormy?' James continues sympathetically.

Peter nods dramatically. 'It does,' he sniffs.

'Well then,' James says softly. He pats peter's shoulders and then strokes his head.

'Er, a bit _too _close there, Prongs,' Peter says cautiously, eyeing James. Then James' fingers fist in Peter's hair and he pulls his face down, toward his sweaty, dirty sock-covered foot.

'Aagh! No! Prongs! Stop!' Peter shouts, trying to resist.

'Smell the foot!' James roars. He succeeds in shoving Peter's face into the sole of his foot.

'Es smurnin' me noose!'

'Hey, let's leave these eijets be,' Sirius whispers in my ear. He gets up and tugs on my hand. I stand slowly. Sirius starts to lead me to the stairs to the boy's dormitories. Oh, no! Please no! I'm not ready for this! I'm too young to die! Well, I'm sure he won't kill me, but he _will_ want to kiss me! I mean, I'm not vain or anything, but that's how the male mind works! Merlin, someone help –

'Oi! Where do you think you're going?' Lily shouts. I spin around, relieved. 'You're not leaving me here with these! No way!' she shoves away from the couch and hurries over to us, linking my arm and looking expectantly at Sirius. 'Well, lead the way, then,' she urges when he doesn't move.

'I kind of meant only-'

'You and Amy? Well, too bad! And anyway, Amy wants me to come,' Lily says, looking at me. 'Right?'

'Err….' Boyfriend or friend? Yes, I do want Lily to come and save me from physical confrontation. But I don't want to annoy Sirius. And I'm pretty sure he wants to be alone with me. I mean, not that I'm saying my company is to be desired. I'm not vain. It's just, you know….do you?

'Hi, Lily.' We look around. A small third year is looking scared at Lily.

'Oh, Juliet! Sorry, I totally forgot about tutoring!' Lily apologises.

'It's okay, we can reschedule,' Juliet says hurriedly.

'No, I'll do it now. You're test is tomorrow, isn't it? We can do some revision,' Lily says kindly.

'If you're sure you don't mind,' Juliet says.

'I don't. I'll see you later, guys.' She waves at us and leads Juliet to a quiet corner of the common room. I look after them, wishing I could follow.

'Come on so,' Sirius says happily, taking my hand and climbing the stairs.

It'll be ok Amy. It'll be fine. You have your wand in your pocket. But you won't need it; he's not going to feel you up against you're will. Not that I'm saying people _want_ to feel me up. I'm not vain. But that's how the male mind works! It's a fact of nature!

He pushes open a door near the end of the hall. He holds it open for me and smiles sweetly. I try to smile back, but I think it comes out as more of a grimace.

The room is just like ours, but minus the fluffy cushions on the beds and teen magazines littering all surfaces. For a room housing teenage boys, it is surprisingly clean. Sure, most of the beds aren't made and most of the drawers are at least halfway open, revealing socks and (ice-cream cone?) boxers. But, hey, the floor is clear. And it doesn't smell.

'Sit down, make yourself at home.' Sirius points to one of the few made beds at the end of the room, that's beside the window. A familiar spot.

'This is where my bed is too,' I smile as I sit down. He flops down and lies back against the pillows. I turn so I'm facing him and he grins.

'I know,' he says carelessly.

'How?' I frown.

'I saw it on the- Through the window. I saw it through the window,' he nods to himself.

'When?'

'During Quiditch practise,' he says.

'Oh. When is the Ravenclaw match?'

'Sunday,' Sirius answers, twirling a strand of my hair around his little finger.

'Is the team ready?' I ask.

'Well, Ravenclaw aren't actually a great team. Their beaters are their best players. So me and Frank Longbottom will be focusing on them. If we get them out of the way, James, McCormack and MacDonald will have an easy time at scoring,' he tells me enthusiastically.

'That's good. Their beaters are Xenophilous Lovegood and Bertha Jerkins, yeah?' I check, sitting back against the bedpost beside him.

'Yeah, that's them. You used to play seeker for Ravenclaw, didn't you? Before you left?' Sirius looks at me. I nod silently.

'You missed try-outs, but from what I can remember, you were really good. And I don't know _how _Pat Dean got be seeker for us. He's dreadful. I'd say he'll be out February. March at the most,' Sirius says knowingly.

'Mm. Maybe I'll try out then,' I say absently. I know I won't. I used to be good. I used to be really good. I was the best flyer on the team (not that I'm vain!) But I haven't set foot (so to speak) on a broom in two years. I rode a Hippogriff one time, but that was it. And that didn't even end well. The bastard bit me!

'I told James, Remus and Peter we're together. I hope you don't mind,' Sirius says awkwardly.

'No, I don't,' I assure him.

'There's a Hogsmede trip tomorrow. Do you want go?' Sirius asks shyly.

'Def- Oh,' my previous excitement dims. 'I don't think I'm allowed. I didn't get a form signed,' I say bitterly.

'Oh,' Sirius says, disappointed.

'Sorry,' I say sincerely. 'I really would have liked to go,' I tell him, meaning it.

'It's fine. Maybe if you write home, ask your mom to write to Dumbledore, you could go to the next one,' Sirius' attitude brightens.

'Yeah….' I make a face. He laughs, but seems honestly puzzled as to why I made it.

'What?' he asks, still smiling.

'You don't get on with your mom? I haven't spoken to mine properly in two years. I know that Dumbledore was keeping her posted on their progress of tracking me while we were gone, but besides from that, zip. Nada. Nothing as to how I was or when I was going to be back. I hear she was pretty worried,' I say.

'If I'd had known you well, I'd have been worried too, if you had gone missing all of a sudden,' he says, taking my hand.

'You think of me as your daughter?' I smirk.

'Ha. Ha. If I thought of you as a daughter, would I be going out with you?' He rolls his eyes.

'I don't believe you,' I tease.

'Really?'

'You're probably some sort of paedophile.'

'You think?' he says, watching me.

'Oh yeah, definitely…' I trail off, my voice turning into a whisper. He is planting soft kisses across my jaw. Sirius Black' lips are gently grazing my cheekbone RIGHT NOW! I think I might feint. This is mental. And even mental-er (Is that a word?) is that everywhere he touches tingles uncontrollably. You know when it's scorching hot outside, and you've got the air-conditioning on? At first, it doesn't seem good enough, but after a while, you get used to it and it's enough. But then you jump into the swimming pool and feel the cool relief from the heat, and you realise the air-conditioning really wasn't enough. Well, that's what being with Sirius is like for me right now. I feel brilliant!

'He plants one last kiss on the tip of my nose and winks at me. 'Did your dad ever do that?' he grins.

'N-n-no,' I say shakily.

'Well, I should hope not. I hope you liked me doing it, because I certainly liked doing it to you,' he says cheekily.

I giggle and want to blush. Hey now! I may have a super-brilliant boyfriend (Which I better not let go to my head) but I amn't going to go all fuzzy! It's enough that I giggled, but I shall not blush!

I stand up and stretch my arms above my head. 'I've got to go,' I yawn.

'I'll miss you,' he smirks, still holding my hand.

'Please, just _please,_' I say dramatically, prying my hand from his grip and wiping it off his shoulder playfully. He catches it, smiling, and kisses it.

'Night, night, pumpkin,' he whispers, winking.

'Night,' I smile. I walk to the door and shut it behind me.

He likes me! Now I have to go take a shower for tomorrow so I'll look good for him. –I'm not being vain!

**Hey! There's chapter 9! This is NOT the end, there is more to come! I'm thinking about a couple of sequels to this story. Let me know what you think! **

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	10. It's a good thing!

**Ok, before we begin, I have to say Thank you Thank you Thank you to all who reviewed! Ye are so good to me! See ye for more at the bottom! ****Xx**

'I don't believe you,' Maddie repeats for the fourth time. She's very stubborn. Sigh.

'For the last time, I am going to the Ball with Sirius Black,' I say tiredly.

'And you agreed to be his girlfriend,' Jelly says slowly.

'Yes,' I agree cautiously.

'Sirius Black,' she checks.

'Yes.'

'Well.' Jelly flicks back her straight light brown hair and looks me in the eyes. Her brown iris' shine and her mouth twitches into a smile. 'You all know what that means,' she says.

'Oh, shopping!' Maddie cheers, forgetting her previous worries.

'Oh, the joy,' Tessie groans, dropping her head into her hands, hiding her face, so that all that can be seen is a tangle of wheat coloured hair.

'We can go to Hogsmeade today and look around for the dresses. We've all got dates so all that's left is the outfits and make up,' Jelly says briskly.

'Our area of expertise,' Maddie chips in.

'It's half ten now. They don't go down to the village until twelve. If we get ready now, we'll be ready to walk down,' Jelly continues.

'I hope ye find something nice to wear,' I say gloomily.

'Nuh-uh,' Maddie objects. 'Tessie's already showered and dressed. She'll go with _you _to the owlery.'

Seeing the confused look on my face, Jelly sighs and turns to the door of the library. Before leaving, she looks back over her shoulder at us, a sarcastic smirk on her pretty face.

'To ask for mummy's permission.'

* * *

_Dear mum,_

_Long time, no see! Or hear or write or anything! Sorry about that, I was really busy. As I'm sure you've heard. I assume Dumbledore's given you the full story by now. _

_Anyhow, I'm back in school now. I'm settling in fine. I miss my friends, but I've made some really good new ones, (I'm sure you've heard I've been sorted into Gryffindor). It sure is a lot faster to get into the common room now than in ravenclaw! A password is so much easier than having to figure out an answer to a riddle. _

_There's a Christmas Ball coming up in December. Everyone's going and there's a lot of stress in the dormitory as it gets closer. My friend Lily has been searching all week for a pair of earrings she's lost. I suppose Hogsmeade is doing very well, what with all the people down their shopping for dresses and suits and the like. _

_I have yet to get a dress for the night (which is in 17 days). Do you think you could write to Professor McGonagall and give me permission to go to Hogsmeade? I really need to get an outfit soon. _

_I've really missed you and all the gang! How's dad? And Paul? Is he still with May? Say hello to them all and give them my love._

_I better go now, I've got a Charms essay to write. _

_I love you loads! _

_Talk soon,_

_Amy._

_Xx_

'There, how's that?' I hold the letter out to Tessie to read over.

'Perfect. You mentioned it discreetly. That was good. Now, let's send it!' Tessie calls down a bird and I tie the letter to its foot.

I watch as the owl disappears into the grey cloud-filled sky. I hope she gets back to me soon. We walk down the steps from the owlery and I pull the sleeves of my cardigan down so they cover my hands. It's very cold. I think we can definitely expect snow this Christmas.

'Do you think she'll let you go?' Tessie asks as we near the front doors. I frown and shrug.

'Don't know. She'll either be over-come with joy that I'm safe and say yes; or…..' I trail off in horror. Oh the horrible possibilities!

'Or?'

'Or she could send me an angry howler telling me she's disgusted with me and has no intention of allowing me to do anything fun. Or she could hire an assassin and have me murdered, then bring me back to life so she could kill me again herself. _Or _she could transform into a dragon and-'

'Ok, I get it. She could do all sorts of bad things.' Tessie nods. 'Let's just….hope for the best,' Tessie suggests.

'Yeah,' I say unsurely.

* * *

'Guess who?' The deep, whisper comes moments after the big, warm, rough hands covering my eyes. A smile lights up my face.

'Hi Sirius,' I say, turning and taking the hands from my eyes in one movement. There he is, standing right in front of me, a brown bag under his arm and his cheeks red from the cold outside. He must have been wearing gloves, because his hands feel like they were held near a fire for the last while. 'How was Hogsmeade?'

He sits on the couch beside me. I close my book and tuck my legs under me, moving my body to face him and resting my left arm on the back of the couch. He takes my right hand from my lap and instead places it in his.

'Alright, you didn't really miss much. Peter fell off his chair in the Three Broomsticks, Remus dragged us into a bookshop and James made us stalk Evans for a while; the usual,' he says, shrugging.

I nod. 'The usual.' I sigh and eye the bag he's holding. 'Is that going to explode?' I ask, only half joking.

He chuckles and holds it out to me. 'For you,' he says.

I take my arm from the back of the couch and take it cautiously. I look from it to Sirius, who's rolling his eyes at my wariness before opening the top a tiny bit and squinting in. Discreetly, I sniff. I guess not so discreetly though, because Sirius barks out a laugh and starts fiddling with my fingers. Finally I open the bag fully, sensing no danger.

I gasp when I get a good look at the contents. The bag is nearly filled to the brim with dozens of different types of sweets. They must be from Honeydukes! I smile hugely and throw my arms around Sirius' neck. He laughs and hugs me back tightly.

'Thank you!' I say, pulling back. I peer into the bag again, leaning against Sirius' shoulder. I take out a Bertie Bott's bean and sniff it. I remember the time I had a fungus flavour one; Paul's idea of a joke. Ugh. But this one seems safe.

'Well?' Sirius questions after I pop it into my mouth.

'Pineapple and jelly,' I decide. I offer him the bag and he has a root around. His hand comes out with two pieces of green fudge.

'Their new Kiwi flavoured fudge,' he says, handing me a piece. 'It's really good,' he assures me, seeing my wrinkled nose. I shrug and put it into my mouth, chewing slowly. 'You like?'

'It's, err…..interesting,' I say brilliantly. He laughs.

'Oh, I almost forgot.' He put his hand into his coat and comes out a huge bar of chocolate, wrapped in Honeydukes best gold paper. He hands it to me.

'Sirius you didn't have to get me all this,' I tell him.

'Ah, it's nothing. Did you write to your mom?' he asks.

'Yup,' I nod. 'I'm sure she'll have got it by now.'

'Do you think she'll let you go?'

'Um…honestly?' He nods. 'No,' I say sadly.

He doesn't say anything, just watches me. I stare at the fire blazing brilliantly in front at us. The common room is quiet; most people are still in Hogsmeade.

'What's wrong?' he finally whispers.

'She thinks I betrayed her,' I whisper back.

'Your mum?' he asks, still in a whisper.

I nod. 'She never said it, but I know how she thinks. Family is the most important thing in the world to her. And that's what she's always taught me. It's how Paul and I grew up. But when I left, she was probably so disappointed. But she doesn't _know_ why left. She doesn't _understand_. I _had to,'_ I say desperately to him, clinging to his hand. I haven't talked to anyone but the girls about this before. This is weird. But it feels right.

'Sh. It's ok,' he says quietly and soothingly. He looks around at the people in here. A couple of girls nearby are glaring at me. They're just jealous, but they make me uncomfortable.

'Can we go upstairs?' I whisper in his ear.

'I have somewhere better,' he whispers back. He pulls me off the couch. 'Oh, bring those,' he points to the Honeydukes sweets.

I follow Sirius out the portrait hole, down a deserted corridor, up three flights of stairs and finally he stops in an empty hall. He paces back and forth three times.

'Um, Sirius-'

A door appears, interrupting my query about his sanity, quite literally out of nowhere. I hesitate, but Sirius walks right inside. I follow and stop inside, looking around shocked. It is like we have just walked into someone's home. Their kitchen, to be precise. The floor is made of white washed-out wood and the walls are painted pale blue. All the presses and cabinets are a light blue colour and the wood of them looks worn. The fridge and cooker are white also and in the middle of the bright room are a middle-sized wooden table and four chairs. The table must have once been brown, but someone had painted- well, _tried_ to paint it- dark blue. The chairs are the same. In the corner of the big kitchen is a comfy looking white loveseat that has lots of blue cushions thrown carelessly on it.

'Wow,' I breathe. 'This is amazing.'

'This is the room of requirement,' Sirius tells me, also looking around awe-struck. 'Me and the lads always come up here. It's funny though; it's never taken on this kind of setting. I quite like it though. What do you think?' he asks pleasantly.

I can only nod. This kitchen is so perfect. And it feels like I know it well, like I've been here millions of times before. Sirius strolls to the loveseat after examining the presses and sits down. He pats the space next to him. I oblige and sit. He puts his arm around me and I am again struck by the familiarity of the situation. But I know I've never been here before.

'So, I guess I'll have to explain everything to you,' I sigh.

'No, Amy, you don't. I understand that it's a big thing for you,' Sirius says softly. I smile at him.

'I trust you Sirius. I know you won't tell anyone. Besides, you'd have to answer to Maddie, Jelly, Tessie and me if you did. And we're pretty handy with a wand,' I joke.

''Pretty handy'? You nearly blasted poor Philip Thomas apart in Defence against the Dark Arts,' Sirius laughs.

'I didn't 'blow him apart'. I was just letting him know that I didn't appreciate him touching Maddie's butt every time he was behind her,' I say, grinning.

'Sure,' Sirius laughs.

'Ok, so here we go. In September of third year, maybe three weeks into the term, Tessie got a letter from home, saying her dad was missing. They suspected Death Eaters were behind it- he was a top auror. But there was no sign of a struggle at the house. Tessie's mum was in a state. She had every auror she could get a hold of that was friends with Matt out looking for him.

'It was nearly Christmas when Tessie got the visit from the Minister of Magic. They'd found her dad in Hungary- we didn't know what he was doing there at the time either,' I assure Sirius, who's looking quite confused.

'Was he-'

'No, he wasn't dead. But Tessie wished he was. Matt had gone dark.' I pause, letting it sink in.

'He'd joined You-Know-Who?' Sirius whispers.

'Yeah. They found him right in their hang-out. He was apparently one of the inner-circle. Tessie was devastated,' I say sadly.

'Did he go to Azkaban?'

'They were having him shipped off within the hour. But first, he got one request.' I pause.

'What was that?' Sirius asks straight away, not wanting me to stop. He's really enjoying this story.

'Everyone gets one. It's like their last wish. Matt wanted to see his family. So they went to him. Tessie was port-keyed over to Hungary- you can't use anything like that to get to Azkaban- and she saw her dad.

'She didn't really understand. She didn't get how he could have gone bad. I suppose there was a part of her that was hoping they'd realise they had the wrong person; that he was innocent and they'd let him go and they could go home and she'd go back to school and everything would be normal again.

'I was with her when she went into the cell they were keeping him in. He'd asked for me too. He told us he didn't do it. He swore he was innocent. A death-eater had framed him. And Tessie believed him. So I believed him.' I stop for a moment, composing myself.

'All for one and one for all,' Sirius whispers. I smile at him and snuggle closer to him. I need to feel him, make sure he's here. Remind myself that this isn't happening again, that it's over. He rubs my shoulder tenderly.

'He told us about a man called Vladimir Tchaikovsky. He was a good friend of Matt's. He said he'd help us. So before leaving the prison he was being kept in, we promised him we'd help. He believed we could do it. And he made me swear I'd stand by Tessie, no matter what. He didn't need to; I wouldn't have left her.

We returned to school and made our plans. Matt had given us lots of pointers; information on how to break the enchantments on the school walls, things like that. Maddie and Jelly weren't supposed to come. We actually weren't even very close friends with them at the time. But they'd caught us in the act and we couldn't risk them blabbing so we-'

'You kidnapped them!' Sirius laughs.

'It wasn't _really_ kidnapping,' I say. 'They wanted to come. They wanted adventure. It was our good luck I guess that we mixed well. Jelly was thoughtful and Maddie was practical. Tessie was careful and I- well, I had no problem doing dangerous things.' I smirk. 'We fast became best friends.

'It was hard to find Vladimir Tchaikovsky. He was a man that didn't _want _to be found. It took us six months to find him- in Russia. Six months to come up with a plan and do it- my favourite part, I must admit. And six months to find a safe place for Matt and relax for a while.' I smile. I can remember the fun we had. I can also remember the kick-ass hard parts too.

'So, you left school to bust out a criminal?' Sirius asks casually. I watch him carefully. I really hope I don't have to do a memory charm if he freaks out. I've done my fair share of them and I can never get the right amount forgotten. It's always either only the last four seconds they forget, or their whole life.

'Remembering the fact he _wasn't _a criminal; yes,' I nod. 'Yes I did.'

He looks at me for another minute and suddenly he bursts out laughing.

'You're not the average girlfriend, are you?' he manages to get out when he stops laughing.

'I'd reckon not,' I say, unsure. He snorts. 'Is that a bad thing?' I ask.

'No,' he smiles, shaking his head. 'It's a good thing.'

**All the secrets have been revealed! - NOT! there's still plenty more to come. **

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed-ye make my day! Thanks to my special friends; TwinzLover, ScarletSunshine and ScandaliousIntentions. To the first two; sorry i didn't do what i said i was gonna do in this chapter- I just got carried down a different path. Hopefully the next one will include it! I hope ye still like this chapter! **

**Review Please! Ye know I love it when ye do! **

**xxxxBluexxxxx**


	11. You'll See

'Are you nervous?'

'Nah, I'm not. We're better than Ravenclaw,' Sirius says simply. He must have confidence by the bucket-load. I get off his bed and look out the window at the Quittage pitch. It was lashing rain last night, and the minus temperature froze all the fallen water. There are patches of ice everywhere, where puddles froze over. The path down to the pitch gleams dangerously, showing it too is slippery.

'It's a mess down there,' I tell him. I look over my shoulder in time to see him get up and follow me to the window. He puts his arms either side of me to rest his hands on the sill.

'Good thing we don't play on the ground,' he laughs. I smile and nod.

'Be careful though, yeah?' I whisper.

'Of course. You don't need to worry. You think our seeker is bad? Theirs is worse! We'll have won in ten minutes!' he assures me.

'Amy?' I spin around and look under Sirius' arm.

'Hi James, what's up?'

'McGonagall is in down in the common room. She wants you,' he tells me.

'Ok,' I say unsurely. I duck under Sirius' arm and make my way to the door.

'Hurry up, yeah? Remus can only hide those ferrets for so long,' James says distractedly. He glances down the stairs, biting his lip.

I'll explain. While Sirius brought me home a bag of (now nearly gone) Honeydukes sweets yesterday, James, Remus and Peter brought home Ferrets for the Slytherins. They explained their plan to me, but I was too busy watching as Peter's charge crawled ever closer to my knee to listen. Ugh, they are disgusting things!

'Don't worry, I'm going,' I say. I walk down the stairs, followed by the two lads. What does she want? Is this about my last Transfiguration test? The questions were making sense; I guess that was the problem. I probably got them all wrong. Great.

'Um, does she look mad?' I ask James quietly before we descend the last four steps.

'Not especially.' He shrugs. 'But you never know,' he says wisely.

When we enter the strangely quiet common room, I spot McGonagall straight away. No doubt she's the reason for the uncharacteristic silence. All the students look uncomfortable and are trying hard to go unnoticed. I see Remus in the corner, struggling with a cushion that has a weird shaped lump in it. Is the lump moving? Oh my fuck! He put the ferret in the case!

'Ms. Summers, if you will follow me,' McGonagall says briskly. I look at Sirius, 'help me' written all over my face. He shrugs apologetically before being hit with the cushion that is putting up a good fight. Stupid ferret.

'Yes Professor,' I mutter, following her out the portrait hole.

'We must get Ms. Mackenzie also,' she mutters as we walk down the corridor to the Ravenclaw dorms. Did Tessie fail her Transfiguration test too? No, she couldn't have.

'You look scared, Ms. Summers,' she remarks. I look at her. A small smile is on her face.

'Did I fail?' I blurt out. My cheeks blaze with embarrassment. To my surprise, she laughs.

'No, actually you did surprisingly well,' she says.

'Did I get an outstanding?' I ask, starting to smile too.

'It wouldn't be fair to tell you your results when everyone else is awaiting theirs too. You will have to wait.'

We reach the portrait of Ravenclaw.

'What is beyond the 'Eye of the Needle'?' the painting drawls.

'The sunrise,' McGonagall says confidently.

'No,' the painting says boredly. McGonagall frowns.

'The sunset,' she says.

'No.'

'The sun itself?' she asks unsurely.

'Are you going to guess of things to do with the sun all day?' the painting asks rudely.

'I am Head of-'

'Jerusalem is beyond the eye of the needle,' I interrupt McGonagall before she gets in a cat-fight with a painting.

'Correct,' the painting sniffs. 'By the way; nice to see y_ou _again. It's been quiet without you for so long,' she says.

'She is in my house now. So I'm afraid you'll just have to get used to the silence,' McGonagall says pointedly, ushering me through the hole. Wow, when did she get bitchy? Is this 'professors get crazy' day?

'Ms. Summers, if you would be so kind as to get Ms. Mackenzie? I should think she's in her dorm,' McGonagall says, looking around the room. The Ravenclaws are not nearly as quiet as we were. I guess they're not as afraid of McGonagall. They probably think she can't do anything to them if they're not in her house; poor, foolish, naïve children.

I walk up the familiar stairs leading to the rooms I myself once slept in. Oh, the days! I stand in the landing. Which door is it? Um, eeny meeny miny mo-

'Are you looking for someone?' I turn to see Matthew Jones coming out of one of the doors, after a gorgeous redhead. It was the redhead that spoke.

'Um, yeah,' I shake my head, clearing my mind. Why is he in the girl dorms? 'Which room is Tessie Mackenzie in?'

'Oh, room six,' the gorgeous redhead smiles.

'Thanks,' I mutter, tearing my eyes off Matthew, who's staring intently at the ground. I turn and walk down to the end of the corridor.

'I don't think she's there though,' the girl calls after me. I stop and turn around again.

'Where is she?' I don't know the girl's name. _And how do you know?_

'I'm Rachel Ulhanda,' she smiles brilliantly again. 'She told me she was going to be with Andrew,' she continues.

'Do you know if she'll be back soon?' I ask, trying to be polite.

'I think she's only just left,' Rachel says apologetically.

'Ok, that's fine.' I walk past them and stand at the top of the stairs. 'Thanks for your help,' I smile. 'Bye.'

'Bye,' she calls cheerfully as I start to descend the stairs.

Matthew says nothing.

What's his problem?

'She's not here,' I tell McGonagall with a shrug.

'Well, we don't have time to wait around for her; Professor Dumbledore and his guest are waiting.' She turns and leaves the common room. I follow. Where are Maddie and Jelly? Hm.

We walk in silence to Dumbledore's office. Should I be afraid? As I stand outside the door to his office, I decide I probably shouldn't. He probably just wants to see how I'm settling back in. Maybe Maddie and Jelly will even be there. I hope he doesn't take long; I want to see the match.

'Wait here, I will see if they are ready,' McGonagall knocks and enters, leaving me standing outside like a dumbass.

Matthew and that Rachel girl must be going out. They were probably having a little a morning canoodling session. Cutting it kind of close, weren't they? The match is in an hour, and Matthew is captain. Oh, kids these days. Ew, I sound so old! Come to think of it; I haven't kissed Sirius yet. And he hasn't kissed me. Well, he hasn't kissed me on the lips, in a two-sided kiss. I wonder when it will happen. I wonder when we'll have a good old snog. Not that I'm a slut or anything.

'Come in, Ms. Summers,' Dumbledore calls.

I go inside, carefully closing the door so it doesn't bang. McGonagall is standing to the side, Dumbledore is sitting behind his desk, and anther person is sitting in one of the chairs in front of him. It's a tall woman.

Just as Dumbledore says, 'There's someone here to see you,' she turns around.

She is young enough; mid thirties. Actually, she's thirty-seven. She has light brown hair that sits on her shoulders in spirals; like mine used to. Her eyes are light green and her skin is smooth and tanned. She smiles at me and her smile lights up the room. She doesn't look angry; she looks happy. Happy and proud.

'Hi Amy,' she says, getting up and hugging me easily. I feel myself grin.

'Hi, mum! How are you? I've missed you! How's dad? And Paul? And May? Is Cailin well? Has she been good while I've been gone? You look great! You cut your hair! I like it this length!' I take a breath and launch into my excited babbling again.

'I'm glad you got my letter. I didn't expect you to come! I thought you'd be angry and I-'

'You thought I'd be _angry?_' Mum sounds shocked. 'Why would I be angry, puddin'?'

'Well, because I just left and didn't tell you and I missed school and I helped a convicted death-eater escape and-'

'I'm not angry, sweetheart. I'm proud. The aurors have found the real death-eater; Matt _was _innocent. You saved his life! I am so so so proud of you!' She hugs me again, hard.

'Oh, that's brilliant! Does Tessie know?' I ask eagerly.

'I believe Professor Flitwick is out looking for Ms. Mackenzie,' Dumbledore says. I look over at him. He's smiling and looks very cheerful.

'Now, to business,' Mum says, sitting down into a chair and pointing to the one next to it. I flop down. I imagine I look like a right _boy_ next to her easy grace.

'This ball; it's in nearly two weeks?'

'Yeah,' I nod.

'You need a dress,' she states it.

'Yes,' I agree.

'A gown?' she checks.

'Yes, that's what everyone is wearing,' I tell her.

'Then I have brought just the thing,' she smiles. She takes a box out of a bag near her chair and hands it to me. 'Of course you can still go to Hogsmeade, I imagine the other girls will need your expert opinion,' she smiles. I grin back at her and open the box carefully. I take out the dress carefully, struggling with all the fabric. Mum waves her wand and the dress shoots out of hands and floats in front of, as if someone is wearing it.

It is beautiful. It is made of soft, silver silk. It is strapless and from the waist down floats out subtly. I can tell that from the waist up it will be fitted. All the material glitters and sparkles in the light. With another flick of her wand, the dress rotates. The back is made of light lace that will probably still show my skin. The lace extends around my waist, creeping into the front. I see the bottom inch of the dress is lace too.

'Mum,' I whisper.

'It will look gorgeous with your gold hair and sapphire eyes,' she says fondly, gazing at me with a glazed look and I know she is imagining me in the gorgeous dress.

'Thank you.' I hug her tightly and say, 'Where did you get it?'

'May helped me find it. I knew I had it somewhere in the house,' she says. Then she sniffs and smiles at me.

'Take loads of pictures and send them to me,' she tells me firmly. 'Your dad sends his love, so does Paul and May. I wish I could stay longer, but as I understand, there is a Quiddage match here and I have to help your dad with a boggart in the spare room.' She kisses my cheek.

I just happen to look at the box again. 'Mum, who's the tie for?' I ask stupidly.

She rolls her eyes. 'Your date,' she says obviously. 'Actually,' she says thoughtfully.

'Who are you going with?'

'Sirius Black,' I say hesitantly.

'Really?' she blinks.

I nod.

'Oh, well, that's, er, nice,' she says lamely. I sigh.

'He doesn't agree with his family mum. He's different,' I assure her.

'Is he your…boyfriend?' she asks.

'Yeah, I guess,' I shrug.

'Oh, well then, I guess he must be nice if you like him,' she says confidently. 'You have no time for people you don't believe in.'

'You make me sound like a cold, heartless meanie,' I laugh.

'No, I just know you,' she grins.

We hug again and she kisses my forehead.

'Take care of yourself, baby,' she says, before disappearing in a fireplace.

* * *

'Where were you?' Maddie asks as I sit between her and Remus. She is sitting where I told her too; next to Peter and Remus.

'My mom was here,' I shout in her ear.

'WHAT?' she screams back over the roar of the crowd.

'MY MOM WAS-'

'Yeah, I heard you,' she dismissed in a shout. 'WHY?'

'To give me a dress.'

'A WHAT?'

'A DRESS,' I shout into her ear again.

'OH! You'll have to show me later. After the match!' she tells me.

'What have I missed?'

'About fifteen minutes,' she shouts vaguely.

'What's the score?'

'40-50.'

'To who?' I persist.

'Gryffindor,' she roars in a huff.

'Oh,' I say, satisfied. I settle in between Remus and Maddie's warm bodies, shivering. I had to run up to Gryffindor Tower to put my dress in a safe place (under my bed).

I searched the sky for him. I see him near our goal, quite close to where I'm sitting. He seems distracted; his eyes roaming the crowd, passing over me quickly and then flicking back to me. He grins and I wave at him, smiling until my cheeks hurt.

He was looking for me!

Now Sirius starts to play properly, instead of just hovering in a safe place. He flies around the edge of the pitch, the bat held expertly in his right hand, poised for attack. I am so busy watching him that I don't notice Ravenclaw have scored.

'And it's a goal from Jones. 10 points to Ravenclaw. 50-50.' The commentator roars.

'Yes!' Jelly and Maddie jump up and cheer. Maddie's eyes fall on one of Ravenclaw's chasers and he waves and winks at her, making her blush. I read the name on the back of the jersey. Davis; her date to the ball.

The match carries on with more of the same. At the end, it is a draw; 100-100. The snitch was never spotted.

Everyone troops up the slippery path that leads to the castle. The team are in the changing rooms. Maddie breaks away from the crowd.

'Where are you going?' I call after her.

'The changing rooms, to see Conor! Come on; you can see Sirius!' She beckons me after her.

'You come too,' I say to Jelly before following Maddie.

'No, Shawn is in the common room. I'm supposed to meet him. I'll see ye later!'

I walk with Maddie back down the path to the changing rooms. We laugh and joke as we cling to each other, trying not to fall. I tell her Matt has been found innocent.

'That's fucking brilliant!' she whoops, nearly slipping. I catch her elbow, laughing with glee.

'I know. Flitwick is telling Tessie. He has to find her first though.'

'Yeah, she's with Andrew. She's been spending a lot of time with him. She really likes him,' Maddie says as we reach the changing rooms. We lean up against the wall, waiting. My breath makes a puff in the air. It's freezing. I pull my woolly jumper tighter around my body. Why didn't I bring a hat? Or gloves? Why am I such an idiot?

The door opens and the Gryffindor players come out. The Ravenclaw players come out the other door. I smile at them as they hello, waiting for the one that I want to see. Finally, after James, who gave me a knuckle touch, Sirius came out, looking gorgeous with his hair messy and his sweats on.

'Well, what did you think?' he grins, coming over to me.

'It was brilliant. The team are great.' I smile and eye his jersey, thrown over his shoulder. 'But that number 14 was something else!' Sirius laughs and shrugs.

'I mean, was he a ballerina, or a beater? I don't think he hit _one _bludger!' I continue, pushing away from the wall and strutting past him.

'I hit _loads_ of bludgers!' he defends.

I laugh over my shoulder at him. He glares at me playfully. I hold my hand out to him. He rolls eyes, but trots up beside me and intertwines our fingers anyway.

'I know you did,' I smile.

As we walk up to the castle, me for the second time that afternoon, I tell him about my mum's visit.

'What does the dress look like?' he asks as we make our way to the Great Hall for lunch.

'You'll see,' I answer.

'Come on! Tell me!' he insists.

I look at him carefully. Finally, I stick my hand into my pocket, fingers touching the silky smooth material. I pull it out and drape the tie around his neck, standing on my tiptoes (I may be tall, but only compared to girls).

'This is your only clue,' I whisper in his ear. I feel his cheeks lift, telling me he's smiling. I kiss his cheek and pull away.

'Silver? Are we co-ordinating?' he asks, following me into the great hall.

I smile again. 'You'll see.'

**Sorry I was while updating! I was away! Hope ye like this chapter! It's long so... **

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	12. That's a lot of Butts!

'You know what tomorrow is...' Tessie trails off hopefully. We are on our way to transfiguration, one of the few classes Gryffindor has with Ravenclaw. Lily is with us too. She gets on well the girls, especially Jelly. It's probably because they both have a temper.

'Saturday?' I ask confusedly.

'Yes…' she prompts.

'Yes,' I say slowly.

'And what happens on Saturday…?'

'We get a day off?'

'No,' she says patiently.

'We celebrate six days your dad was found innocent?' I ask, more quietly. We've already had a 'one day anniversary', a 'three day anniversary' and a 'five day anniversary.' The aurors are out looking for Matt. He's hiding pretty well, but they think they might know where he is.

'No,' she says, getting irritated.

'We learn how to rum-'

'I don't think I want to hear you finish that sentence,' she interrupts. She takes a deep, calming breath and says it as if she's spelling it out. 'We are allowed to go into Hogsmeade. You know; that village with the sweet shop and the haunted building and-'

'Yes, Tessie, I know Hogsmeade,' I cut across her. 'I'm not stupid,' I tell her.

'Whatever. Are you coming in with us? We need to get dresses. Not everyone already has a gorgeous gown in their dorm,' she sniffs.

I laugh. I'm going to draw it out. 'I know how much you value and need my input in the area that is beauty- after all, beauty and I are no strangers- but you know what? I don't know if I can.' I shake my head sadly.

'This is serious stuff,' Jelly says. I didn't know she was listening.

'Yeah, the fate of our _image_ depends on you! This is our chance to really come out with a bang!' Maddie says. 'Show everyone we really are back! And make them realise just how much they missed us.'

'Yeah, you should here the way that Jerks girl talks about herself and her friends! She hangs around with that Vane one. Sarah her name is, I think. Real bitches! Makes themselves out to be the IT girl gang! They really think they've filled the spot of 'coolest girls' in our year since we left. But just wait and see! They'll be running with their tails between their legs!' Jelly claps her hands together and grins wickedly.

'Didn't that Hazel Jerks used to go out with Sirius?'

'Yes,' I say shortly.

Maddie laughs. 'Oooh! Someone is touchy in the 'ex' department.' They all laugh.

'Shut up,' I mutter darkly.

'And Sarah Vane is going with Potter to the ball,' Jelly says.

'Really?' I ask.

'Yeah,' Tessie nods.

'It's so obvious what he wants off her.' Jelly says wisely.

'He'd take it from anything with two legs and nothing in between,' Maddie smirks.

'He must like nothing in between the ears, too,' Tessie adds with a snicker. I can't help a laugh, but it quickly dies when I see Lily's cheeks redden. Oh! She must feel so stupid now because James likes _her_.

I clear my throat. 'Let's hurry up, or old McGonagall will transfer us into sombreros,' I say in an effort to shift the conversation away from the topic of James.

'Un-de-lay, un-de-lay!' Jelly laughs.

'Areeba!' Maddie cries, taking off around the corner with Jelly at her side. I laugh. There's a shout followed by a loud crash.

'I'll go fix whatever they broke,' Tessie grumbles, shaking her head.

'Let's hope it's not bones!' I call after her. She turns and jogs backwards long enough to give me the finger. I laugh.

'Last time Tessie tried to fix my broken arm, she made the bones turn to complete jelly,' I say to Lily. I wait for her to laugh or ask about the charm she used. She doesn't. I look down at her.

'What's the matter?' I ask, frowning.

She shakes her head and smiles widely. 'Nothing,' she assures me.

'You know I don't believe you,' I sigh. 'Spill.'

'It doesn't matter,' she shakes her head.

'Is it because what they said? They didn't mean you, Lily. They weren't thinking. I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't even know he likes you,' I say. James doesn't make public displays of affection. He has more cop-on.

'No, I know that. It's not that.'

'And it is…' I prompt.

We reach the door of McGonagall's class with 27 seconds to spare. We don't have enough time to wait around. I look at her with my hand on the handle.

'Well?'

'I thought he wanted to go with me?' she says dryly, rolling her eyes . She pushes the door open.

!

'You utter, complete, prat!' I shout, banging the door to the boy dormitory open. I march over to his bed (the one labelled 'Prongs'- git). I stare down at him, lying on his stomach across the bed, reading a Quidditch magazine. He looks up at me, confused.

'What, Summers?' he asks.

'Ugh!' I yank the pillow his elbows are resting on from under him sharply, causing him to fall forward. He pulls himself up and I then proceed to hit him with the pillow. It's not exactly fluffy. Good.

'You. Are. Such. An. Idiot!' I emphasise each word with a good, hard whip across the head with the crappy pillow. I must say, I expected better for a Potter.

'What is going-'

'Padfoot, please, get your girlfriend off me!' James tries to shield his head with his arms.

I hear footsteps behind me and spin around. 'Oh no, 'Padfoot', don't you dare,' I warn Sirius.

Sirius bites his lip and asks, 'Why are you hitting him?'

'Trust me; he deserves it. He really, really, deserves it,' I snarl the last part at James.

'Well, then….' He grabs the pillow form my hand and replaces it with a different one before I can protest. 'At least use a different weapon. There's important stuff in this one.'

I give him puzzled look before turning back to James.

'I didn't do anything,' James shouts. My hand squeezes the pillow I'm holding. Now this is the lovely, goose feather-filled, soft, warm pillow I imagine a Potter would have; only the best for little Jamesie, after all. I drop the perfect pillow in disgust. I'll have to settle for word-daggers.

'You didn't do anything, Potter? Nothing at all?' I ask sarcastically. He shakes his head.

'You mean you didn't ask Sarah Vane to the Christmas Ball after swearing left, right and centre that you wanted to go with Lily? That you like Lily? That she was the only one? You mean you didn't let me spend hours finding ways to persuade Lily to give you a chance, you're a nice guy, you really like her. Ha! And I actually thought that was the truth too! But Lily didn't believe me, and she was right! You moved right on to the next stupid, giggly, airhead as soon as she said no! Didn't you?' I shout at him.

'Amy, calm down,' Sirius says gently, putting an arm around my waist. My shoulders relax at his touch and I take in a much needed breath. I look up at Sirius, into his stormy grey eyes. Are my insides melting? NO! Stay focused, Amy! This is important!

'But it's true,' I insist, more calmly.

He frowns, but nods all the same. 'It is,' he says finally. 'Prongs?' he addresses James, much calmer than I did.

'Yeah?' he says cautiously. He's moved to stand on the opposite side of the bed from me; smart move.

'Are you going with Vane?'

He nods carefully.

'Since when?' Sirius continues.

'About lunch, actually,' James says, glaring at me.

'It has to be longer than that, Potter! I heard about it 47 minutes ago from Ravenclaws. Ravenclaws are always second last to know anything! And if they knew 47 minutes ago, that means you'd had to have asked her about 4 and a half hours ago for them to have only copped on to it now!' I argue.

'Vane has a big mouth,' Remus says thoughtfully from Sirius' bed. I hadn't noticed him and Peter, the latter of them sitting perched on Sirius' bed with a look of wary alertness.

Sirius nods. 'True. And her friends are gossipers too. I remember Hazel; she was desperate for it.'

'There; the news just spread really fast. I expected it would. Sarah can't keep anything quiet. It was nearly impossible to get her alone to begin with. Then as soon as I asked her she looked ready to piss herself; she was dying to go tell them all.' James sighs. 'I wish I didn't ask her at all. Lily is obviously angry.'

I scoff. It's so typical that he would just presume she wanted to go with him. He's so arrogant! Never mind the fact that I'm starting to suspect she did.

'She's not crying in her room, if that's what you think,' I say sourly.

'I don't think that!' he exclaims. 'But if she sent her angry Grindylow after me, then she must be pissed.'

'I came because _I _was angry at you! Not her! And I am _not_ a Grindylow!' I snap.

'Fine, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to waste your time. I did want to go with Lily. But Amy, _I can't wait forever!_ I need to keep going before I miss out on the normal teenage things. Do you know I've never shagged a girl? I do still like Lily. More than any other girl, but it's time I stopped doing all the work. A wise man once said, 'You must let hens cluck first, Rooster,' he says sombrely.

I laugh once. 'Who said that rubbish?'

'Sirius,' he shrugs. I look around at Sirius. He is blushing adorably. Aw!

'Let's go, Amy. Danny Boyle is staring at your butt,' he mutters, taking my hand and spinning me around to face the door. His cheeks are still soft pink. I look over at Boyle. Yes, he is staring at my butt. But I don't think Sirius wants to go because he's staring at my butt. I think Sirius wants to go in case I kick James' butt. That's a lot of buts. Or maybe he's just embarrassed.

'Fine.' I look back over my shoulder. 'Bye James. Sorry for, you know, beating you with a pillow,' I say awkwardly.

'If you don't tell anyone, I'll forgive you,' he smiles. I grin back.

'Deal,' I nod. 'Bye lads,' I call to Remus and Peter. They wave and I follow Sirius out.

'So you're giving James animal advice, were you?' I tease him as enter the common room. He leads me over to the couch in the farthest corner, away from everyone else.

He shrugs. 'It was the only way he could understand the advice I was trying to give him,' he says in an off-hand way. I search his face carefully. He's avoiding my eyes and his jaw is tense. I poke the tight muscles of his neck, which is exposed because the top four buttons of his white shirt is open. Damn, he has a good body!

'What advice were you giving him?' I ask him, assuming this is the cause of his tension. The ways the arm around my shoulders stiffens proves this is the question he had been hoping to avoid. Too late now.

He looks down at me and searches my eyes for about five minutes. I have almost forgotten he is supposed to speak; I am so caught up trying to decipher his eyes.

'I think you might get mad,' he murmurs. The fingers of his left arm, wrapped around my shoulders, start to massage my shoulder unconsciously. 'But I don't want to lie to you,' he continues quietly. He breathes out and says in a rush, 'I told James he should stop asking Evans out.' He scrunches up his eyes and holds his breath, waiting for the eruption.

'Why?' I ask.

'He was starting to actually care,' Sirius says. 'Before, he kind of just brushed it off when she said no. It was like the 'no' didn't affect him. But now, he's started to wonder _why _she says no. I didn't want him to get hurt.'

'Why do you think he would just suddenly care?'

'I think it's because he sees how much I like you. He sees that I'm serious about this, and I think he wants something, too.'

'And are you? Serious, I mean?' I ask hesitantly.

He smile and nods. 'Yeah. I mean, I know we're only fifteen- well you're fourteen- and who knows what will happen in the future, but I tend to live in the _now._ And right now, I really like you,' he says simply.

I grin and wrap my arms around his neck in a sudden wave of affection. I hug him and say into his ear, 'Right now, I like you too.'

He laughs. 'Well, thank the Lord!'

'The ball is in two weeks, you know,' I say, pulling away.

'Yeah, I know. Are you excited?' he asks.

'Yeah, I guess. Are you?'

'Sorta,' he says, nodding. I'm glad he doesn't blow off the idea, trying to be cool, or acts too enthusiastic. I don't think I could handle that.

'I have to go help the girls pick out dresses tomorrow, and Merlin knows I'll need strength, so I better go to bed. I'll see you tomorrow,' I say.

'Yeah, ok. See you later,' he says, releasing my shoulder.

I reach the girl's staircase and turn, waving. 'Bye rooster!'

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	13. Shopping

'You are going to make us late! Get. Up!'

What is that God-awful racket? I roll over and snuggle into my pillow more. Please don't follow me horrible, un-wanted racket.

'I meant it Amy Summers, get up! Now!'

What an irritating voice. So whiny and demanding. I need to get away from this voice. I reach around blindly until I find something soft that I think is one of my tops. I drape it across my face and hope it's enough to drown out the voice.

'You're not going to escape from me unless you get up,' the voice warns.

I heave something between a groan, a whine and an exasperated sigh.

'Thinking about getting up?' the voice says dryly.

'That depends, who am I going to be looking at if I open my eyes?'

'A very pissed off Maddie that needs to get a dress,' the voice says.

'Not worth it,' I decide.

'You leave me no choice,' she says sadly. I hear retreating footsteps and a clatter. I let myself relax when the voice doesn't return. I try to recall my dream. What was it? Oh, that's it. I'm on the beach. It's warm and the sea sparkles under the sun. The sun is shining directly down on my skin.

'You're going to get burned,' a sexy, husky voice whispers into my ear. The person's breath is warm and I shiver, leaning back instinctively. My naked back touches someone's hard stomach. Naked? I glance down; I'm in a sapphire blue bikini. The person behind me wraps their arms around my hips. I notice that our bodies sort of click together, perfectly, like a jigsaw.

Not being able to resist, I turn to see who's behind me. The boy is tall, and has shaggy, middle- length, black hair. His grey eyes crinkle around the edges when he smiles at me.

'Let me put some sun-screen on you so you don't burn. There's a fine line between a tan and a lobster look alike, and we don't want you to cross it,' he says pleasantly.

I turn and pull all my hair over one shoulder so Sirius can do my back. Just before his hands touch my skin, he says,

'Don't say I didn't warn you.'

But that can't be Sirius. Sirius' voice is sexy and deep and smooth. It's not high pitched and straight- forward.

And then a waterfall of cold, unpitying water falls on my face.

It soaks my hair and stings the skin of my cheeks. It pours into my nostrils unforgiving, causing me to splutter and sit up. I rub my eyes and look up.

Maddie stands over me, wand at her side. She's looking at me with no sympathy on her gorgeous face. I scrape the soaked hair from my cheeks without looking away from her. If I stare hard enough, maybe her glossy black hair will fall out. One can only dream.

Finally I blink. 'You could have drowned me,' I scowl.

She snorts and rolls her light green eyes. 'I'm sure you'd have gotten over it. Get up. Because of your laziness, you only have 40 minutes to get ready. Make the most of it. I'd shower and put on clothes, do the hair, and skip the make-up, save for a little blush. Really, you have excellent skin, but you're so pale!' she says tragically. She tosses a towel to me and points to the bathroom door. 'Go. Now.' She stands watching me expectantly.

I get up and stretch before making my way to the bathroom door. 'Am I going to need to lock the door to save myself from exposure, or are you leaving?' I say, standing with my hands on my hips.

'God, you're bitchy in the morning,' she mutters. 'Knew I'd be made wake you,' she adds in a grumble to herself.

'Sorry for your trouble,' I say sarcastically, opening the door. I hear her snort. I switch on the shower and hesitate before stripping and getting in. 'Maddie?'

'Yes?' she drawls.

'How did you get in?'

She just laughs and I remember we used to compare her to a chameleon when we were helping Matt. Huff. Let's just hope she doesn't pick the lock while I'm in the middle of bathing.

!

'Took your time, didn't you?' Jelly accuses as Maddie and I join them. Always so pleasant!

'Yeah, well, she was in one of her moods,' Maddie grumbles. 'And I still think you cheated with those broom straws,' she adds darkly to Tessie.

'Let's get going, we've missed the carriages,' Tessie says innocently.

The four of us walk down the sloping path that leads to Hogsmeade. A group of loud, giggly girls are in front of us, and a gang of boys are behind us. They let out the occasional booming laugh, but it's different from the stupid, high squeaks from the girls in front. Their laugh is genuine. The girls are looking for attention. I am determined not to give it to them.

'Where's Lily?' Jelly asks.

'She's sick,' I say. 'She's got the flu,' I say glumly.

'Poor thing,' Tessie says.

'She'll be better soon,' I shrug.

'Yeah, the flu isn't going to last ten days. She'll be fine for the Ball,' Jelly nods.

'We're really cutting it close, aren't we? It's in ten days! We should have had this done ages ago,' Maddie frowns.

We reach the village and I pause under the arch that says 'Hogsmeade,' taking it all in. It's my first time here. There are lots of kids with their parents rushing around, hands full of bags. The Hogwarts students blend in, unnoticeable except for the occasional familiar face.

'Brilliant, isn't it?'

I smile and nod. It really is.

'Let's get going so,' Maddie says, stepping into the crowded street. We follow quickly before we lose her. She leads us down an empty side road. The noise from the busy village turns to a reassuring hum as we walk further down the deserted lane.

'Are you sure your sister said this was the way to go?' Tessie checks as we file one after another down the narrow lane.

'Yep,' Maddie says confidently from the front. 'Ouch, Jelly, you stood on my foot!' Maddie exclaims.

'Sorry. Walk faster,' Jelly says with a poke to Maddie's back.

'I can't walk any-'

'Is that the place?' I interrupt loudly, pointing to a pub a little further down the street. They stop their bickering to inspect it.

'Yeah, that's it,' Maddie nods, walking in the door.

Maddie's sister is meeting us here to bring us by port-key to a better shopping area. It's not exactly allowed, sneaking off during a school outing, but it's necessary in this case. Who wants a dress from Madam Fabnificent's?

'Hey, shorties, over here!' a girl calls from a booth near the entrance. It's Avril. Her black hair, longer than Maddie's, is pulled into a high pony-tail and she sits casually, the image of Maddie. We all rush over to her, squealing, before we pounce on her and smother her with hugs and kisses.

'Gosh, how I've missed being adored!' she laughs over our excited noise.

'Get off your high horse; we just want to go shopping!' Maddie says, but the twinkle in her eyes and wide grin betrays her.

'Then let's not delay anymore, poppins!' She claps her hands and jumps up, nodding to the bar-tender and walking through the pub to the cellar.

'It's freezing down here!' I pull my sleeves down over my hands.

'Here it is,' Avril announces, pulling a sheet grandly, creating a cloud of dust. Tessie sneezes beside me.

'Bless you,' I murmur distractedly. Threw the remaining dirt and dust I make out a wonky, three-legged chair. Charming…

'Well, everyone touch it. No, Maddie don't sit down-'

CRASH

'MOTHER OF FU-'

'I told you Madeline not to sit on the retarded chair. What did you do?' Avril says with her eyes closed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

'Sat on the chair,' Maddie mumbles, a pout on her face as she struggles to get up.

'Yes. Be glad your laziness didn't break it.'

Maddie whimpers pathetically, as she rubs her bottom tenderly. 'Ow.'

'_If _we are ready,' Avril interrupts mine and Jelly's snickers.

We all gather around the death-trap. I place my index finger on the back of it and hold Jelly's hand with my other. She hates apparition and port-keys. She can't take any form of transportation that stops your breathing and makes you feel disoriented.

'Ready? One, two, three-' The port-key glows and the familiar spinning of being port-keyed ensues.

We all fall from the air to the ground, none too gently. I feel something sharp and hard shove into my tummy, letting me know I've landed on someone's knee.

'For the love of God! Amy, get off me!' Tessie cries.

'Sorry, sorry!' I stumble to my feet and offer her my hand. She accepts it gracefully.

'This way!' April calls, already halfway down the hill we landed on. 'The city is just a short walk ahead. If ye hurry, we'll be there by one!'

'Come on so,' Maddie says chirpily, leading us down the hill.

!

'How much longer?'

'I'm tired!'

'Can you hear my stomach rumbling?'

'I think I left my feet ten miles back!'

'We're nearly there,' Avril assures us from ahead.

'You said that twenty five minutes ago!' Maddie accuses.

'Yeah, we've been walking for nearly an hour!' Jelly wails.

'Oh, please, grow up!'

'Noooo!' we groan together.

'Ye should take a leaf from Tessie's book! She hasn't once complained!'

We all look back at where Tessie is nearly crawling along the forest trail behind us. Her white-blonde hair is pulled back in a loose pony-tail, her cheeks are bright red and her scarf hangs limply around her neck. I stifle a laugh.

'All right there, Tessie?' I call, laughter clear in my voice.

Tessie pants out words that I suppose are supposed to be insulting, and probably a few good jinxes mixed in there too. I just laugh, hanging back to wait for her to catch up.

'Son of a Hag, I hate this!' she shouts as she reaches where I lounge against a sycamore tree. I just grin at her. She eyes me in disgust. 'You're not even sweating!' she exclaims angrily.

'Quidditch builds up strong pain resilience,' I shrug.

'Then why are you complaining?'

'For the sake of the team,' I say, smiling angelically.

'Ha bloody ha. You're a saint!' she says sarcastically.

'Want me to carry you?'

'Yes!' she says straight away, big chocolate eyes lighting up.

'Too bad!' With that I scamper off down the trail. 'Come on!' I beckon her with my hand. With an inaudible grumble she sets off at a shaky jog after me, re-energised by the quick break.

!

'Finally,' Maddie huffs.

'Remember; this is muggle London. No magic,' Avril warns before leading us down the crowded side-walk to all the fancy boutiques. I take in all the names. The windows are full of beautiful cocktail dresses and gowns, and pictures of elegant looking women in fabulous dresses cover the backgrounds of the displays.

'Let's have a look in here.' Avril points out shop with a particularly pink window display. The pale pink background and vibrant red Santa-cocktail dress clash terribly. Jelly reads my mind.

'It's never a good sign when they can't get their colour-codes right.'

'Don't be so snobby,' Avril mutters as she pulls open the door.

Inside is brightly lit and posh. Fancy little chairs sit in a cluster to the side of the two little dressing rooms. Rail upon rail of dresses line the wall, all sorted neatly by colour. I wander over to the 'apricot' colour rail. I finger the dresses curiously. There are satin dresses, silk dresses, velvet dresses, net dresses-

'I wouldn't go with apricot- not with your hair.'

I jump in surprise and turn to see the face that goes with the snobby voice. A tall, middle-aged woman in a smart grey pencil skirt, crisp while blouse and a fitted matching blazer is looking at me. Well, maybe looking isn't the right word. Surveying; that's what she's doing.

'You have a good body; tall, but curvy. I know just the style for you-'

'Thanks, but it's not me looking. My friends are,' I gesture to them.

'Hm.' She looks them all up and down before walking over to Tessie and tugging on her hair. She them proceeds to circle her; like a lion stalking her prey.

'I think you are a pink pixie,' she announces. Then she walks over to a rail further along and takes a dress off the rack. 'Try it on.'

'Um, thanks, Ms….'

'Helen.'

Tessie smiles uncertainly and scoops all the cotton-candy pink fabric into her arms. She steps into a dressing cubicle and shuts the door.

I look over at Helen; she's staring Jelly's shoulder area and frowning.

'How do you feel about a red dress?' she asks abruptly.

Jelly stutters, clearly uncomfortable under Helen's sharp, x-ray gaze. 'I-I-I don't really mind.'

Helen turns her back on us and searches a rail until she finds the dress she was looking for. What a weird lady!

'Try this,' she commands.

'Ok.'

I flop down into a chair as Jelly disappears behind a wooden door that shows her legs from the calf down and the top of her head. The chair is more comfortable than it looks. Maddie sits next to me, smirking at me when Helen's back is turned.

'Hitler,' she mouths. I smirk back, nodding.

'And you, young lady,' Maddie turns. 'Are a Jade.'

'Actually, I'm Maddie,' Maddie says, and I can tell she's smiling. I snort and cover my mouth with my hand, attempting to look innocent as I pick up a magazine. I glance at Helen, who is not smiling, but marching Maddie to yet another rail.

'Should I come out?' Jelly calls uncertainly.

'Have you got your dress on?' Helen asks.

'Yes?'

'Then what do you think you should do?' Helen asks. Not in a mean way, but in a no-nonsense way. That's the kind of person she is.

The door open slowly, and Jelly peeks around it before stepping carefully in front of us. Wow. The dress is dark red and has thick, straps. It has a low neck line and is plain satin. It flows out like a red waterfall.

'Jelly…' Maddie breathes.

'You look…' I try but fail.

'Stunning,' Avril says firmly. She smiles at Helen. 'We'll be taking this one.'

Jelly beams at us and does a twirl before wandering over to a nearby mirror to admire herself further.

'Perfect,' Helen says with a nod. 'Olivia, wrap this up!' she calls to a young woman of about twenty behind the counter. 'Tell the other girl to come out; she must be ready by now.'

'Tessie, come on,' I shout, not looking up from my magazine.

'Amy, come here!' she shouts back. I sigh irritably and heave myself from the chair. Maddie glides into Jelly's dressing cubicle as Jelly comes out, dress on hanger. I rap on the door and wait for her to open it. She opens it a crack and sticks her hand out, beckoning me inside. I roll my eyes and push the door open wider to get in.

'What? Can you not close the zip?' I say boredly.

'_Look _at it!' she screams in a whisper.

My eyes wander to her.

'Gah!' I cry, jumping back. 'Ewww! It looks like the sugar plum fairy threw up on you!'

'I know! I can't get this!' she says, sinking down onto the ground.

'So tell Helen you don't like it,' I shrug.

'I can't do that!' she snaps.

'Why?' I draw out the word.

'Because….'

'What?'

'She scares me.'

'Oh, for God sake!' I say, exasperated.

'Will you tell her?' she begs.

'For the love of-' Her big eyes stop me. 'Aw, Tess, don't so that,' I wail.

'Please? Do you want me to wear _this?' _she sweeps her hands down the bodice.

'Fine,' I huff, flinging the door open and stalking out. Avril is paying for Jelly and Maddie's dresses. Being a rich pureblood family does have its advantages.

'She doesn't like it,' I tell them, leaning on the counter.

'She doesn't? Does she want a different shade of pink?' Helen asks me.

'I don't think Tessie is a pink…pixie, as you say.' I say carefully. Helen looks at me, curious.

'What do you suggest?'

I bite my lip before saying, 'Can we try purple?'

!

We all get up from the table of the three broomsticks. What a long day. After trying on seven more dresses, all in shades of 'mauve' as Helen said, Tessie found a dark, midnight purple one. She looked beautiful in it. Maddie got the 'jade' (which is really just a fancy word for forest green) dress and Jelly got the red one. We're all set.

'I'll miss you,' Avril says, hugging us all. She turns to Maddie, whose eyes look a little bright. 'I'll see you at Christmas.'

'Bye,' we all say.

'Have fun at the Ball. Maddie; just say no. Jelly; work on walking without falling. Tessie; take care of yourself. Amy…Take care of the rest of them.'

'Will do,' I smile.

Avril apparates home and we walk up the path back to Hogwarts, blending in with the other students who never even noticed our absence.

**Thanks to everyone who reviewd and favourited/subscribed! I love it so much when ye do! Hope ye like this chapter! It took a long time to write it and it's really long. Hopefully ye'll review, telling me what ye think! **

**Thanks!**

**xxxBkuexxx**


	14. I dont do good!

So. Much. Effort! I hate walking! Worse; I hate walking on a Monday morning, to double potions. Oh, the pain of it all! Only five more days. Just five more days until we break for Christmas. Two whole weeks of doing nothing! Music to my ears! And then eight days till the ball. Whoop, whoop!

'Where have you been all weekend?' Sirius falls into step beside me.

'Oh, you know, around,' I shrug.

'Did you go to Hogsmeade on Saturday?'

'Did you?' I ask back.

'No,' he frowns. 'I had…something on,' he mutters.

'What?' I ask, sensing he wasn't telling me something.

'Remus' time is-' he stops himself hastily.

'Ok,' I say, shaking my head. 'It's not any of my business, anyway.'

'Well, no, it isn't, but don't worry,' he says, taking my hand in his, 'I wasn't doing anything bad.'

I look at him doubtfully. 'Really?'

'Yeah…I'll rephrase. I wasn't doing anything bad that affects you or our relationship,' he says robotically, nodding.

I smirk. 'Remus wrote that out for you to recite, didn't he?'

He grins down at me. 'Worse,' he sighs tragically, 'Prongs.'

'I thought you were the deep one in that relationship,' I tease. 'Almighty rooster.'

He blushes. 'Are you ever going to forget that?'

'Nope,' I shake my head. 'And even better; I'm never going to let _you _forget it either!'

!

Last class of the day; transfiguration. McGonagall's calling us up one by one, to give us our tests back.

'Lily Evans,' she calls. Lily gets up from beside me and walks to the desk, passing Jan Cornwall, who is looking near to tears as she stares at her test. A figure that looks like a 'T' from where I am sitting is printed firmly in the left corner of the page. I glance up at McGonagall's desk. She is frowning at Lily and shaking her head. Lily nods curtly at something McGonagall says and sits down back down beside me. She glares straight ahead.

The person behind me prods my back. I turn to look at the Ravenclaw.

'What?' I groan, rubbing my back.

'What did she get?' she nods to Lily, whose face of stone turns into a sour scowl.

'Why don't you ask her? She can hear you,' I say in a normal volume as McGonagall leaves the room. Susan blushes, embarrassed at being caught, but sits up straight and calls, at a loud volume, attracting everyone's gazes.

'Evans, what did you get?'

'Fuck off,' Lily mutters. No one hears but me, and I stare at her, astounded. Lily never curses!

'What?' Susan frowns.

Lily spins around so fast she nearly knocks our desk over. She grips the back of her chair and glares so ferociously at Susan that even I lean away a bit.

'I said; fuck off, Hathaway,' she growls.

'Whoa, calm down!' Susan splutters, making little simmering gestures with her hands.

'It's none of your business what I got!' Lily shouts.

I put my hand on her shoulder and lean in to hiss in her ear, 'everyone is staring, Lily! Stop it!'

McGonagall comes back in and everyone turns back around into their seats, disappointed about the interruption of what they were sure would have been a good bitch fight.

'Remus Lupin,' McGonagall calls. Remus gets up and walks, shoulders slouched, to her desk. He's pale and tired looking, his eyes only half-open. One hand is sitting lazily in his pocket while the other rubs the back of his neck, as if it hurts. Maybe he's coming down with the flu.

'Peter Pettigrew.' Peter scrambles up from his and Remus' desk as Remus returns, a small smile on his lips. 'Exceeds Expectations,' he mouths to James and Sirius, who are seated in the seat behind them and in front of us, before sitting down.

'James Potter.' Peter passes James and shows him his test. I see an 'A' for acceptable in the corner. They touch knuckles before James continues his saunter to the desk, pausing to whisper in Hestia Jones' ear. This act makes Lily's knuckles tighten on her quill. McGonagall nods and hands him the test. He smirks at Sirius on his way back his seat.

'Outstanding,' he murmurs quietly, tilting his chair back on two legs and running his hand backwards through his hair, from the nape to the crown. He turns his head and winks at Lily.

'Are you proud of me, Red?' Lily exhales sharply as he lies back on her side of the table. She purses her lips and flicks him in the forehead. He puts his hand to his forehead and sits on the chair properly. He turns around and mouths, 'Vicious.'

McGonagall continues to call people in alphabetical order. Finally she calls, 'Amy Summers.' I get up and walk from my table near the back to the front of the class.

'As promised, Ms. Summers,' she smiles. She hands the test to me; Exceeds Expectations. Yay! I really want to do the Happy Dance right now! 'Well done, I hope you keep up this standard.'

I walk back to my desk. Sirius winks at me and I wink back.

'You two always wink at each other,' Lily notes as I sit.

I shrug. 'He's my-'

'Boyfriend, I know. Just pointing out. You two have a queer relationship,' she frowns.

'Why are you in such a bad mood?' I grumble.

'Did I say it was bad?' she snaps.

'God,' I mutter.

She's silent for a minute. Then she pushes the test over to me. In the corner, clearly stated in red ink, is an 'A' for acceptable. This is probably her first ever 'A' in anything. Aw.

'But that's still good,' I console her.

She snorts. 'Yeah, it's good,' she says.

'But,' I prompt.

'I don't do 'good', Amy. Other people do 'good'. I do _brilliant _and _the best_ and _perfect_ and-'

'So you had one not-so-brilliant-and-the best-and perfect test. Big deal. You still did a lot better than some people,' I whisper, nodding to Jan Cornwall. 'She got 'Troll'.'

'If I just didn't know the answers or didn't understand I could breathe and be relieved I did pass. But I _did _know the answers Amy! I didn't get an Outstanding because of bloody _him!' _she hisses angrily, pointing at James' head. At this moment his hand reaches up and rakes through his hair. She growls, frustrated. Sirius looks back at us and Lily's eyes narrow. I gesture for him to turn around.

'What did James do?' I whisper.

'Don't defend him, Amy!'

I splutter. 'I'm just asking,' I whisper.

Lily takes a deep breath and nods. 'Sorry. I'm sorry,' she repeats sincerely. 'It's not your fault I did badly on my Christmas test; it's his. And _hers._' She glares furiously at Sarah Vane across the classroom.

'Oh. Eh, how so?' I ask timidly.

'She was sitting beside me, and they kept passing notes. She kept giggling and waving and borrowing my ink to reply.'

'Why did she need _your_ ink?' I wonder.

'She 'let hers fall out a window', Lily puts on Vane's nasally, liquid-y voice. All of her group have the same tone.

'Read chapter 7 tonight,' McGonagall orders, releasing Shawn Windsor and dismissing the class ten minutes early.

'Amy! Take a walk?' Sirius asks as we exit.

'Sure,' I nod, watching Lily head out ahead of us with Jelly.

'We'll see you later,' she calls over her shoulder. They head in the direction of the charms class Tessie and Maddie are in.

Sirius and I walk across the grounds to the lake and stop at the huge oak tree near the bank. Sirius takes off his jacket and lays it on the ground.

'Don't, you'll be cold,' I protest as he flops down. He grins up at me.

'But our bottoms will be cold if we sit on the ground,' he reasons.

'Sirius, you'll freeze,' I say stubbornly.

'Not if you share your coat with me,' he laughs.

Not a bad idea. 'Fine,' I nod. I sit beside him, taking off my jacket in the progress. I use it like a blanket and huddle my self under it. I look at Sirius, waiting for him to join me. He's staring at me.

'Are you coming?'

'I was joking,' he begins slowly. 'But if it's ok with you, then yeah,' he says cheerily, crawling in beside me. We try various ways of getting us both under the cover of my small jacket, and it soon becomes clear our attempts are fruitless.

'I think,' Sirius begins slowly, 'the best hope of getting us both into a position where we're warm we have is if you sit between my legs.'

I blink and think about it. Me. Between Sirius' legs. In close contact. Him touching me. Um, gulp!

'Ok,' I say casually, getting up so he could position himself. He sits with his back against the tree and his legs spread apart. I sit gingerly between them and pause, unsure. He chuckles and then his strong arms are sneaking over my shoulders and pulling me back into his warm, hard chest. As soon as our bodies make proper contact all my muscles relax and I lie back against him. My head rests on his shoulder and his arms rest on my hips, after he has draped the jacket over my torso.

'You don't want any?' I whisper. This moment is so peaceful and quiet, only us two outside, that it feels weird to be loud, like I'm interrupting or ruining it.

He hums into my ear as kisses my cheek gently. 'You have a warm body,' he whispers, hands tightening on my hips. I feel my cheeks darken at the mention of my body.

'What are you doing for Christmas?' I ask.

'Staying here. No point going somewhere where there's no Christmas spirit and joy to every man,' he says dryly. 'What about you?'

'I'm going to Maddie's house,' I say.

'When?' he asks, nuzzling my neck with his nose. I smile at the rightness of this situation; Sirius holding me and talking to me.

'Christmas Day. The train leaves at half five in the morning!' I complain.

'Oh no, you'll have to move!' he teases. 'Where does Maddie live?'

'Wizarding London. Her parents work for the Daily Prophet. They're well respected in there too, have really high positions. Maddie's house is bloody massive,' I tell him.

'Sounds cool. Is it just her and her sister?'

'Yeah, and they're always bickering, but they love each other really.' I smile affectionately.

'I thought you would've wanted to go home for the break,' Sirius admits.

'Really?' I smile up at him.

'Yeah,' he nods.

'Yeah,' I nod.

'So, why don't you?' he persists.

'Why?' I laugh.

'I'm just wondering.'

'Ok,' I breathe in and mutter, 'I figured if there was any news about Matt, I'd hear it there first.'

'You're really dedicated to helping him,' Sirius says, watching me.

'Yeah, well, once I get into something, I can't just pull out. I have to finish it,' I shrug. 'Is that weird to you?' I ask.

'No, that's great to me,' he says softly, hugging me tightly.

**Hey! this is short, so sorry! the next one will be long, I just wanted to get this up for ye to read while ye're waiting (Im so thoughtful :) ) **

**Thanks to all who reviewed! Kepp it up!**


	15. The Ball

**Thanks to all my Reviewers! I got EIGHT this time! My highest ever! I've responded to you all, except LexUntrue. So here you go: I'm so glad you like the story! My mom is the same! Haha xxx**

**Time for the story!**

'It's time!

It's time!

It's time for the Ball!

We're gonna dance, and dance and dance and- then what will we do, Lily?'

'Um….dance till we fall!'

'I like it! Come on, Tessie, you're turn!'

'Nngh! No!'

'Come on! It's time for the Ball!'

'It's time to sleep! Go away!'

'Amy, do something!'

'What do you want me to- OW! Ok!

Get out of bed, you feather-head!

The ball is in twelve hours!

There's so much to do, and you kinda stink,

SO GO TAKE A SHOWER!'

'Nice! I didn't know you had it in you,' Maddie, the self-appointed leader of our round of out of tune and cheerful singing of improvised tunes, says.

'Please, shut up,' Tessie begs from her cocoon of blankets.

'Get up! Jeesh, I thought it was Amy that was the grumpy one in the mornings!'

'Hey!'

'No offense! Come on! We only have eleven hours, fifty-eight minutes until the Ball!'

'There'll be plenty of time in eight hours! I'll get up at twelve, promise! Just not at EIGHT AM! You lot are fucking mental!' The cocoon shouts.

'Teresa! Don't make me result to water!' Maddie warns.

Tessie's white head pops out of one of the blanket's folds. 'You wouldn't,' she says, eyes narrowed.

'Oh yes she would!' Jelly groans, dragging her sopping self to Tessie's bed.

'You can't say I didn't warn you,' Maddie says fairly to Jelly.

'You said 'Are you taking a shower today?' And I said 'yes' and then you poured water on me!' Jelly accuses.

'You weren't getting up and I was speeding along the process!' Maddie says defensively.

'I didn't need you to-'

'You know what? I haven't got time for this. I have to go into Hogsmeade quickly- the third and fourth years are going in today because they're not allowed go to the ball- and get hair stuff from Avril. Are you coming Lily?'

'Yeah, I will,' lily nods.

'Perfect. I'll be back by eleven. Amy, get these two up,' Maddie orders before leaving with Lily.

'Please don't make us,' Tessie wails as the door closes.

'Please,' Jelly seconds.

I measure them up. They really do look tired. And I need to get a book from the library, something I know I won't be able to do with them.

'Be up and ready by half ten,' I decide before turning and leaving.

A chorus of 'Thank you' follows me out the door of the Ravenclaw fifth year girl's dorm.

!

'Hey!'

Is that person calling me? I look up from my book on magical creatures, and see the hunched up figure walking towards me. He gets closer to my seat in the library, and I recognise Severus Snape. He stands in front of me, thin hands dangling at his sides, stringy hair hanging in his eyes.

'Yes?' I drawl, and then stop. I try to keep the haughty, bored tone out of my voice. But it's just so hard; his whole presence is boring.

'Do you know where Lily is?'

'Sheisn't here at the moment,' I say, looking back my book. I didn't know a werewolf's cycle begins a week before the actual full moon. Apparently, they get weak and tired and quite often their bodies aren't able to fight common colds and viruses.

'Ehem.'

Oh, he's still here. How does one person's existence go so unnoticed?

'What is it?' I sigh.

'Do you know where she is?' he presses.

'No,' I dismiss.

'You're lying. Tell me.' He pokes my shoulder and I jump out of my chair.

'Don't touch me,' I spit.

'Sorry,' he mutters, backing away. 'If you see her, tell her I'm looking for her. I need to talk to her about…tonight.' He shifts his weight from one foot to the other. It's like he's waiting for my consent to leave.

'Fine,' I say, nodding and picking my book up. I walk past him.

'Thanks,' he says bitterly.

I smile sweetly. 'Goodbye.'

!

We all sit in on the beds in the Gryffindor fifth year girl's dorm. All our hair has just been dried and we sit in fluffy bathrobes before we style it. I blow my now-dry nails- a clear, sparkly colour- one last time, just to be sure. Nervous anticipation knots in my tummy. It's half six and the Ball starts at eight. All the girls are meeting all the boys outside the Great Hall.

I get up and wander over to my dress, suspended in the air by a charm found in Tessie's repertoire. All the dresses are in a line. Mine is the nicest. But maybe I'm biased.

I glance back and catch myself in the mirror. My hair- to my elbows- looks knotty and straggly, even though Jelly has just finished yanking a brush repeatedly through it. The hair at the roots is static-y and the ends are all spiky. I let out a frustrated yelp, causing the girls to look at me.

'I look like I've been dragged through the Whomping Willow!' I complain, clamping my hands roughly on the crown of my head, trying to tame the hair. As soon as I remove them, it poofs up again, even wispier than before. UGH!

'You don't; you look fine!' Maddie assures me distractedly, examining a magazine with different hairstyles in it.

'You're not even looking at it!' I protest.

'Yes, I am,' she mutters, turning the page.

I groan again and stomp into the bathroom. I brush my teeth, purposefully not looking into the mirror that runs along the wall and reflects the mirror-wall behind me.

I straighten up and see Lily leaning against the door frame. 'You were quiet,' I observe.

She shrugs, watching me.

'You'll tell me the truth, won't you, Lily?' I say desperately.

She nods carefully and says slowly, 'I will, but you might not like it.'

'Just tell me,' I command. I smile. 'Please.'

'You do look a little worn. It's not too bad though. I f you put it into a bun maybe-'

'No, I don't want to wear it up. You know what Lily? I think it's time for a trim.'

**Ten minutes Later:**

'Steady now. Don't do that you idiot!'

'I said to NOT make it spiky!'

'YOU IMBECILE-'

'Shut UP!' The scissors roars. Yes, you heard right; the scissor spoke. It's been enchanted to do what it's instructed (Lily's charm expertise). And, quite frankly, I'm regretting the decision to have a haircut. And on such an important day!

'How does it look?' – That high-pitched, panicked, scared little voice isn't _mine_, just to let you know. No, it's Maddie's. She's hiding her face in a pillow, too afraid to watch. She doesn't have the same faith in Lily's charms as I do. To be honest, mine is dwindling too…

'Take a look yourself, it's finished,' Tessie announces triumphantly.

I peak one eye open, then the other. I stare at the familiar-stranger in the mirror. Her deep gold hair falls in loose spirals to just above her boobs. Jaw-length layers frame her face and a soft looking side fringe falls close to her right eye. Speaking of eyes, hers are big and wide and a deep, gemstone-blue colour. She's actually pretty. _I_'m actually pretty…

'You look fantastic!' Lily breathes, staring at my reflection.

'Amazing,' Jelly breathes, a small smile on her face.

'So different,' Maddie says in awe. They look at her. 'In a really good way,' she adds hastily.

'Beautiful,' Tessie says, squeezing my shoulder and nodding as if it's no news to her. Like she's known it all along.

!

We stand in front of the mirror one last time.

'We have to take a photo!' Maddie exclaims, scooping up the folds of her jade coloured dress and hurrying to her bag of things lying on the home-made bed on the floor. Her, Jelly and Tessie are all sleeping in our dorm tonight. Sleepover!

We all huddle together, with a bit of mumbling from Jelly, who hates pictures. Jenna, another fifth year girl, takes the camera from Maddie. She rushes over to stand at the end beside Jelly. I twirl a curl around my finger, a nervous habit. What if Sirius doesn't like my new haircut? It's still long, but maybe he won't think I look nice. Tessie takes my fidgeting hand in hers and we share a smile that says 'I feel the same.' There's a flash and we scatter.

'This looks really good!' Maddie laughs. Five copies shoot out of the magical camera and she passes them out. I inspect mine. I smile fondly. The moving picture shows Maddie, at the end, smiling brilliantly at Jelly, who is first looking hesitant but then laughs when Lily-looking gorgeous in a black shimmery dress- tickles behind her ear, (her weak spot!)I stand on Lily's other side, smiling at Tessie, who responds warmly and winks cheekily at the camera, making picture-me giggle.

It really is a nice photo, and my throat tightens with love as I look at the real-life versions of my friends, fixing their hair and touching up their lipgloss for the last time. I absently raise my hand to my own hair, touching the cool silver butterfly slides Lily fixed into my hair.

'Let's go, it's eight,' Tessie says. We descend the stairs, careful to not trip over our long dresses. I'm last and I pause in the shadow of the third last step. I'm suddenly scared. I'm scared of girls not liking my hair and whispering about me. I'm scared of falling going down the stairs to the Great Hall. I'm scared I'll spear Sirius' foot with these pretty-to-look-at-but-really-a-bitch-to-walk-in sparkly silver stilettos.

'Come on,' Tessie says softly, linking my arm and leading me into the common room in a swish of silver (my dress) and deep purple (her dress). All the girls fill it, all wearing pretty gowns and high heels. They all look lovely.

'Well, the boys are waiting. Let's not keep them any longer,' Cathy Heinz, a good friend grins. We all flow out the portrait hole and begin the descent of the Grand Staircase. I can hear the thrum of a couple hundred deep voices at the foot of the stairs.

'Shit! I forgot my good-luck ring! I have to wear it! I'll be right back!' Jelly rushes-as fast as she can in high heels- back through the portrait hole. She comes back two minutes and fourteen seconds later- Maddie, the mad panicker, was counting.

We walk slowly down the stairs, the last to reach the bottom. I'm aware of the stares and whispers, and try to _not_ fall on the last seven steps. I wish I didn't have to stand behind Lily and her easy grace! Well, at least Tessie is behind me. She's almost as clumsy as I am!

I watch my feet the whole way down and on the last step, someone else's feet come into my view. A polished pair of black dress shoes. I look up into the face of-

Sirius.

He smiles softly at me and offers me his hand. Taking a deep breath, I place my hand- small in comparison- in his. He squeezes gently and leads me to the long line of couples waiting to enter the Great Hall.

'I was beginning to think you weren't coming,' he chuckles. We stand behind James and Sarah Vane- who I catch looking at my shoes with obvious envy, By The Way.

'And leave you all alone? Never,' I grin. How the hell could I? He looks so _fine _in his black tux and silver tie.

He laughs and wraps me into a tight hug before the doors open slowly and magnificently to reveal a scene from a fairytale. Icicles hang from the ceiling and snow glitters on the chandelier. The four house tables have vanished and in their place, about eighty circular tables are arranged around the large space in the centre of the room that has been turned into a giant dance floor. They look like they've been sculpted out of an ice-toadstool. Matching chairs circle them. I notice each table has a good view of the dance floor, which looks like an ice-rink but without any safety railings. I _really _hope that's not any form of slippery surface! A bar is set up behind the dance floor.

'This is really pretty,' I breathe, looking up at the enchanted ceiling that real snowflakes are drifting lazily from.

'Yeah,' Sirius agrees. Something unsaid hangs in the air, and I look at him. He's watching me with a strange look. I blush and look away.

'Amy, over here!' Jelly beckons us to a table where the gang have, well, gathered.

I grin and go to make my way towards them, then stop when I become aware that Sirius doesn't really know my friends or their dates. I look back at him, biting my lip.

'Do you want to…?'

'Of course,' he says, smiling genuinely at me. He wraps an arm around my waist and we walk over to them.

We sit and chat for a long time. I talk to Lily while she ignores Shane McLaggen and Sirius chats to Andrew Collins and Tessie. All the while, Andrew holds Tessie's hand and always includes her in the conversation. It's so sweet!

I try to turn a laugh into a cough when Shane tries to wrap his arm around Lily's shoulders and she pretends to yawn hugely, stretching her arms above her head and 'accidentally' hitting Shane across the head on their way back down .

'If you know what's good for you, you're not laughing,' she hisses out of the corner of her mouth.

'Oh, I'm not,' I say, smirking.

She sticks her tongue out at me and turns to Jelly.

'Amy, I'm going to the bathroom, coming?' Tessie asks.

'Yeah.' I jump up. 'Definitely,' I add to her under my breath as we hurry away from Sirius and Andrew's animated 'motorcycle' talk. Whatever that is…

'I'll come!' Lily calls. She hurries after us and we exit the Hall, turning to our right and entering the bathroom.

'If he tries to touch me one more time I'll-' Lily makes a choking gestures with her hands, splashing water at the mirror. I dry my hands and say over my shoulder,

'Give him a break Lily! The guy is delighted to be here with you. Give him a chance. You might find you like him too.'

'Wow, that's really wise, Amy!' Tessie teases, reapplying mascara.

'Oh shut up and concentrate on your mascara!' I grumble.

'Another wise piece of advice,' she mutters, wiping away a blob of black that somehow got on her nose. 'It's not fair that _some people _have such gorgeous, thick, long black eyelashes,' she looks directly at me, 'while others have little blonde pricks!'

'Ok,' I mutter, heading to the door. 'Let's go.'

'Sirius and Andrew seem to have really hit off,' Tessie observes as we peek around the door to the Hall.

I smile. 'Yeah.'

'Lets hope they don't turn gay and leave ye,' Lily mutters, staring sourly at Sarah Vane, perched on James' knee at a table close to ours.

'Then we'd just turn lesbian,' Tessie replies airily, watching Andrew with goo-goo eyes. Yeah, like she'd ever leave him! Puh-lease!

When we enter the Hall, people are dancing to music. Sirius stands and Andrew stand when we reach the table.

'Where are Maddie and Conor?' I ask.

'And Jelly and Shawn?' Tessie adds.

'Same place we're going,' Andrew grins.

'Which is…?' Tessie draws out slowly as Andrew guides her towards a crowded area.

Sirius puts his hand on the small of my back and gently pushes me forward. 'Dance floor,' he whispers in my ear.

'You're not serious,' I twist my head to look at him.

'Yes I am,' he says, smiling slyly.

'Oh, for the-' We reach the floor and a slow song comes on. 'Isn't she lovely.'

Sirius' hands circle my waist and I grudgingly rest mine on his shoulders. He leads me around the floor slowly, keeping eye-contact.

'You look so…' he sighs, pulling me even closer against his body.

'I cut my hair,' I say lamely.

'I can see that,' he smiles, nodding. I study his face carefully.

'You don't like it,' I whisper, staring down at the floor. I bite my lip.

He takes my chin and looks at me. I get caught in his grey gaze.

'Did you know you're eyes sparkle?' Oh. My. God! Did I just say that? Just kill me!

'I love your hair,' he whispers, before leaning down and kissing me.

I don't know how we long we stand here kissing sweetly with the music in the background and friends circling us, but I don't care. My first kiss. It was definitely worth the wait!

I can't imagine having it with anyone but Sirius Black.

**I hope ye like it! Review and tell me! If I do the next chapter right, it's gonna be a really good one! **

**xxxBluexxx**


	16. Train Ride

So. Tired. Please let me sleep! Please stop tugging my hair!

'Come on, Amy! It's Christmas! We're going in an hour. Take a shower! You have glitter on your nose.' Tessie's hushed voice is close to my ear.

Christmas? I sit up like a Jack-in-the-Box. CHRISTMAS!

'Merry-'

'Shh!' Rebecca Scaleton moans, peering at me from her bed with sleepy, drooping eyes. 'Be quiet, Santa,' she mumbles before starting to snore.

I look at Tessie and frown. 'Do I look fat to you?'

Tessie rolls her eyes and leaves the room, satisfied I'm up for good. I take a long, hot shower. No cold water for me! No sir! Because then I will be wide awake. And then I won't want to sleep. And I fully intend on sleeping on the train.

I look in the mirror as I cast a drying spell on my hair. My eyes widen and then I remember that I cut it last night. Mm….Last Night. I fix my side fringe and put on blush (to please Maddie) and then leave the bathroom quietly. I have to dress in the dark so I don't wake the girls that are staying in school.

I pull on skinny jeans and a white tank top over my underwear. Then I root around my (neatly packed, thanks to Lily) bag for my oversized chunky knit jumper. My hand touches the warm, blue and white fuzz and I pull it on over my tank-pathetic coverage- top. You didn't think I was wearing it, did you? It's so low, my boobs-

'Are you ready to come down for breakfast?' Tessie whispers, sticking her head around the door. She too is in warm clothes.

I nod. 'Just have to put on my shoes.' I pull the cool combat booties from under my bed and stick my socked feet into them. They were my fourteenth birthday present from the girls.

I zip up my bag after checking I have everything and bring it with me to the Great Hall. The corridor is full of the bags of people who are leaving the castle. I put mine next to one with Maddie's name tag on it.

'Don't leave that there!' a coarse voice snaps. I look back at Filch; My Old Nemesis.

'Where will I put it then?' I huff, hands on hips.

'Over there!' he shouts, pointing to a spot further down the wall. 'DO IT NOW!'

'I AM!' I shout back. Jeez. He grumbles something like, 'I hate summer.'

The Great Hall is half full of kids that look exhausted. If they had a night anything like mine, I understand. We stayed dancing until half twelve.

It is half four now.

In the A.M.

I am tired.

I sit next to Tessie and Lily at the Ravenclaw table. 'Where are the other two?' I ask, filling my plate with scrambled eggs- if I have to get up early, then damnit, I'm gonna eat properly! Wouldn't want to be low on energy!

'Maddie is trying to get Jelly up,' Tessie smirks.

'And that's funny why?' I ask sourly, staring moodily at the ceiling that is sprouting mistletoe and fake snowflakes.

'When I left they were playing Tug-of-War with the sheets. Maddie was winning,' she laughs.

Why are my friends so weird? Well, considering I once wrestled a leprechaun, I probably shouldn't say much…

Just as McGonagall gives the twenty-five minute warning Maddie skips to the table, dragging a sulking Jelly along after her.

'Come on, smile! It's Christmas!' Lily grins, tickling Jelly's ear.

'Stop that,' jelly mutters, but we all see her smile into her porridge.

'I'm running up to brush my teeth. I'll be back in a minute. Don't let the train leave without me,' I grumble sarcastically, heaving myself up from the table. In case you're wondering _is she going to run? _No, I'm not. I use the banister to pull myself up the steps and nearly get stuck outside the portrait hole. Thank God for Cathy Heinz, who can remember her passwords even with a hangover!

I bare my teeth in the mirror after scrubbing them twice. Ok, they're fine. I look at my watch. Shit! It's quarter to five! I run down the stairs, only to get stuck behind Peeves the bloody Poltergeist near the front doors.

'Move!' I exclaim. He turns and sticks his tongue out at me. I put my hands on my hips and stare at him. I'm gonna miss the train! He sticks his butt out and wiggles a piece of mistletoe in front of it before cackling and zooming off.

Asshole.

I sprint down the empty corridor-they've already brought the bags down? That is not good! I push open one of the double front doors just in time to see the carriages pulling off down the dark lane.

'For fuck SAKE!' I shout. What do I do next? I sprint down the hill after them. I stumble a couple of times over roots and loose stones but I keep going. I run like the demons of hell are chasing me! And strangely enough, I do feel like someone is behind me….Ah, well. No time to look now! I'm nearly at the Hogsmeade Station.

I skid to a halt as I reach the platform and lean against a lamppost looking around for the Hogwarts cloaks. There they are! Just boarding! I spot Jelly looking anxiously out a window and call to her, waving. A look of relief crosses her face as she waves back and beckons me onboard.

I take a step just as a hand closes around my arm and spins me around. I just see two orbs of storm before their lips clamp down on mine and I have no choice but to respond. Well, I do have a choice, but, let's face it! I'd be mental not to kiss back Sirius Black! My arms wrap around his neck as he pulls me firmly against his body, arms tied like the ribbon on a Christmas present around my waist. Just as I feel his tongue poke my bottom lip, a freezing ball of slush hits him in the back of the neck, which was well exposed as he was bending it down to reach my lips.

I jump away from Sirius, searching for the culprit. Sirius glares at someone behind him. 'You're dead, Potter!' he shouts as James runs onto the train.

I stare at him. 'I thought you were staying in Hogwarts?'

'Change of plan. Mrs. Potter heard Remus and me were going to be all on our lonesome this Christmas and _insisted_ we come to France with them. So, I'm off,' he says, holding up his bag. 'We're apparating from London as soon as we get off the train,' he grins.

'That's wicked! You're so lucky!' I say with a fake pout. 'So what with the assault?' I tease.

He grins and wraps one arm around my waist and reaches the other to my hair. 'Just saying hello, is all,' he whispers as he kisses my cheek softly.

'Because mere words could not describe your happiness to see me, right?' I say seriously.

'That's right,' he agrees sombrely.

I let my stern look slide off my face and laugh, leading him by the hand to the train. We locate our friends-somehow all in the same compartment. It's a real tight squeeze with Andrew and Connor Davis there too. Shawn Windsor is staying in Hogwarts and so Jelly is glaring out the window as the train starts to move, clearly disgusted by the lack of love she's getting. Lily- who has decided to never look at another boy again since McLaggen tried to touch her butt when they were dancing last night- sits across from her, purposefully ignoring James as he talks to her, not even noticing.

Sirius sits on the end of the bench next to Remus. He raises his eyebrows and pats his lap at me, smirking suggestively. I shove him back by his shoulder and sit between Tessie and Andrew, trying not to look sulky. But, damnit, if I don't get to sit beside my boyfriend and cuddle up into his shoulder as I fall asleep, then neither does she!

!

Someone's voice coaxes me out of the blackness of a dreamless, uneasy sleep. I feel cold hardness against my cheek and the pain in my neck. Opening my eyes, I straighten up from where I lay awkwardly against the window of the train. I look around and see Sirius kneeling by my head. Just Sirius.

'Where is everyone?' I ask, rubbing my neck.

'Snogging,' he sighs tragically, sitting beside me.

I arch an eyebrow at him. 'They told you that?'

'No,' he admits. 'But where else would they go? The fact that they left in two's didn't help their 'I'm going to piss' campaign. Don't see why they don't just _say_ they're going to take it to third base in a dirty train toilet. I mean, it's not like everyone didn't already _know._'

'You are so romantic,' I mutter, rolling my eyes.

'Excuse me? You're going to make fun of _my _romance skills? Who was the one that decided to _sleep _when she and her boyfriend were in a very empty compartment at the very end of the train?' He glares at me accusingly.

'I was asleep! I didn't _know _they were gone! How long _have _been gone, anyway?'

'Oh, about five minutes.'

'Then what are you complaining about?' I exclaim.

'That's five minutes we could have been doing something else!' he says sadly, shaking his head. Somehow, his hand has come to rest on my knee.

'Like?' I murmur, scooting closer to him. He watches the little shimmy of my shoulders as I duck under his arm and press myself into his chest.

'Oh, you know….stuff,' he breathes as he leans down and kisses me.

This kiss is stronger than the one last night. Last night's was like a shy hello. It's like of a continuation to this morning's 'Nice to see you again.' His lips part on mine and his tongue creeps out, running over my bottom lip. It wiggles its way into my mouth and from there on, it's like the tango is happening in my mouth. And I can't say I don't like it.

Of its own accord, my left arm snakes behind his neck and into his hair, using it to crush his mouth harder against mine. The hand on my knee sneaks up, and grips my hip tightly. He pulls me across his lap, my back against the wall and butt on the seat, legs draped across his lap. His hand runs up and down my thigh and I shiver as the tingles flow from his fingertips.

His hand makes to move to my butt and I gasp. This is all moving very fast…

He groans and squeezes my butt. 'That sound is so damn-'

'Horny?' a cool, male voice supplies. Sirius looks at the door and glares. I crane my neck to see the door. My face burns so hot I know I am so red. Why? Why do these kind of things happen to my?

'You'll be having detention as soon as you go back to Hogwarts,' Matthew says flatly, ignoring me. 'And I'll make sure someone is keeping an eye on this compartment,' he adds. He turns to go and then looks back at Sirius, smirking. 'Oh, and keep a leash on Mr. Potter, would you Black? He and Ms. Vane were getting awful cosy in that toilet,' he says superiorly before leaving.

'How about I get cosy with your-' I clamp my hand over Sirius' lips. They're all wet and warm. Eew….

'What?' he snaps, glaring at me.

'Shut up, retard!' I hiss.

'That prick thinks he can put us in detention? If he's not careful a stinging jinx will be getting cosy with his ass. I have a right mind to make a condom grow out of his-'

'Oh, stop!' I snap, kicking my legs free of his warm lap angrily. I sit on the opposite bench from him at the far end, as far away as I can. I bring my legs up and rest my chin on my knees. I thought we were friends….

'What's wrong?' he asks, confused.

'Nothing,' I sniff, avoiding his eyes.

'Ah, you don't actually care what that dick says, do you?'

'Do you know what I looked like?' I say angrily.

'I-'

'No, not _you _Sirius, _ME!_ It's fine for you to be getting hot and heavy with a girl! You're a boy! No one but the smart girls are going to judge you on that! If Matthew says anything to anyone, _everyone_ will judge me! They'll say I'm a-' I stop and take a deep breath, hugging my torso tightly.

!

_Sirius POV_

She breaks off and wraps her arms around herself. She looks so hurt, big blue eyes cast downwards, not looking at me. Like she_ can't_ look at me. I feel my chest constrict and hesitantly, I move to the other bench and sit at the end of it. She doesn't move. I lay a hand on her foot and she looks up at me, biting her lip.

'No one will judge you,' I start.

'Yes they-'

'No one will judge you, because I won't let him say anything,' I promise quietly before leaving the compartment and looking for Jones. I'll sort him out!

!

_Amy POV_

Oh no. Everyone is off the train but Sirius and Matthew. He's killed him! That's it! He's murdered him and now he's finding a way to dump his body out the window! He better not say I had anything to do with it!

'What's wrong with you?' Tessie nudges my side as we wait for Maddie's dad.

'Nothing.' And I'll have to move to Switzerland and change my name to Yakima and make a living out of raising goats.

'You seem nervous,' Tessie frowns.

'I'm not.' And I don't even like goats! They have beards! And horns! That freaks me out! Who's with me?

'There's Sirius,' Tessie points to the train.

I run up to him. 'What did you do?' Please let me not have to move to Switzerland!

'Amy, relax. I just talked to him,' Sirius promises, taking my hand and leading me away from the train.

'That's all?'

'Yes. There's Maddie's dad. Have a nice Christmas,' he smiles. He hugs me and gives me a push towards the muggle car thingy. I walk over to the girls and hug John.

'How are you, Amy?' he grins, holding me at arm's length and examining me.

I laugh. 'Fine,' I say, hugging him again.

'Good, good. Load up the boot so, girls! Let's get this show on the road! We should be home by ten,' he says cheerfully. They start lugging their bags into the boot and I look over my shoulder as I bend to pick up mine. I see Sirius being hugged by a tall, dark haired woman as she herds the boys to the exit of the station. He looks over his shoulder, laughing, at James and catches me staring after him. He winks and blows me a kiss.

Cheeky!

**Thanks to all who reviewed! Hope ye like this chapter! xxxxx Review! **


	17. Christmas Cheer is Ruined

'Welcome home, sweetheart!' Marie Ashton cries as she rushes out the door to meet Maddie as she climbs out of the 'passenger seat'. I swear, I will never understand Muggles. In my second year summer exam of Muggle Studies, I got a T! Mom was disappointed.

'Mummy!' Maddie screams as she throws herself at her mom. They hug and there is a lot of squealing. I hope me and my mom don't make that much noise!

'Oh, girls! It's been so long! I've missed you all so much! Come in, it's freezing! Joan from the office said it's going to snow heavily later. I bet you'll want a little lie-down before you open presents or anything. Perhaps some brunch first, though? I'll get Tabby right on it! John, bring in the girl's bags!' Good ole Mrs. Marie Ashton! A darling little thing and so friendly but, well, she never shuts up.

We follow her through the grand entryway into the familiar house-or should I say mansion?- that was the host of many sleepovers. The twisting marble staircase that leads up to the dozens of bedrooms beckons me to the familiar guestroom that I have shared with Tessie too many times to count. To the right, through big mahogany doors is the dining room and further along is the kitchen. To the left is the sitting room and the ballroom- yes, I know, I was blown away too!

'Come on, so,' Marie chirps, bouncing into the kitchen. There are lots of different fridges and cupboards and a table with four chairs in the centre of the huge room. Marie rings the bell and a tiny little house elf, dressed in an old one of Avril's doll's dresses hops into the room.

'Ms. Madison is home!' it cries and bows at her feet.

'Hi Tabby!' Maddie smiles at her favourite house elf.

'What does Miss want from Tabby?' she squeaks.

'Soup would be brilliant Tabby, thanks,' Maddie says kindly. The house elf skips away into the pantry and there's a clatter as she gets everything she needs.

'It's been so quiet without you all here,' Marie says fondly, settling herself in a chair beside me.

I blow my soup- tomato, my favourite, as Tabby so kindly remembered. It's nice to know I haven't been forgotten.

'Has there been any news about- about my dad?' Tessie asks timidly.

'Not yet, but don't worry. As soon as we hear anything we'll tell you. Right, John?' she calls cheerfully to Maddie's dad as he drags two bags up the stairs. His only answer is to trip over the handle of one and bang his head off the banister.

'So, tell me, how are you settling back in? It must be hard to get back into your studies,' she says.

Maddie shrugs. 'At first it was, because I think we'd kinda forgotten how the place worked. But it's fine now.'

'And the Ball? Was it as much fun as you'd hoped?'

'It was wicked!' Jelly grins. We all nod enthusiastically.

'And the dates? Do you think you'll let them stick around for a while longer?' she laughs.

'Well, it's till death do they part for Andrew and Tessie,' I smirk.

'Shut up,' Tessie blushes.

'And I thought I'd have to get a knife to cut Shawn away from Jelly,' Maddie teases.

'What about you two?' Jelly exclaims.

'Yeah! Conor swore to Shawn he's 'never known anyone like Maddie' and Sirius looks like he'd take a killing curse for you, Amy!' Tessie says.

'You're that serious?' Marie frowns thoughtfully.

'Not very serious,' I mutter.

'Not for _you,'_ Jelly mutters.

'What, you're ready to marry Shawn, are you?' I demand.

'I wasn't talking about us. I was talking about _Sirius_.'

'What about him?'

'It's obvious he's serious about you,' she says, exasperated.

'I like him too!' I protest.

'Just _like_ or _li_-'

'The only thing I'll say, girls, is don't lead them on,' Marie interrupts wisely.

'And no boys!' John adds as he passes the door.

'Right.'

Bit late for that!

!

I sit on the window seat, lost in thought. Our room is the one we always claim, at the front of the house. It over looks the huge front lawn. Tessie shifts in her bed and it creaks. I look at her pale, beautiful face, calm and empty in sleep. Her eyes, closed, don't show the usual half-anxious look they have sported for the past two years.

Sighing, I lean back against the curved wall. The window is pushed out from the house, into the air, and if you lean forward, you feel like you're going to fall out. I pull my knees up to my chin and stare out at the early afternoon. What Jelly said is really bothering me. I do like Sirius! A lot! Why do they doubt me? How can they not see what light breaks beyond my- ah, forget it! Why am I trying to talk like Shakespeare anyway? Must be true what they say; love _does _make you wacky!

WAIT! Love? I don't love Sirius! Do I? Wasn't it just me defending my feelings for him? I definitely do like him, but I don't _love him._

_Who says you don't?_

That voice sounds a lot like my nana… A wise woman. Got hit by a broom stick carrying love potions… An omen? She never did marry…

Back on topic! I'm fourteen, how the hell do I know if I love someone or not?

_You love your family, don't you?_

Yes, but Sirius is a little different from my DOG! And nana, you once thought I was a duck, so you can't say much about anything!

Oh my God! And Sirius never said he loved me. That's proof that he wants to take it slow! Although, 'taking it slow' doesn't really entail squeezing someone's butt in an abandoned train compartment after two months, does it? But, I did kinda like it…

Oh God! Am I turning into a slag? I sigh again. I look at the clock. It's half twelve. I think it's an acceptable time to get up. I unfold my legs from beneath me and creep over to Tessie's bedside.

Aw she looks so cute when she's asleep… 'TESSIE! Wake up! It's Christmas!' I shout in her ear.

'Aaaaaagh!' she screams as she topples out of bed and holds her fists up. 'I'll fight ya,' she slurs, eyes still closed.

'No need,' I jump onto the bed and start to bounce on it.

'Jingle bells, jingle bells, ho ho ho…and…stuff,' I trail off, not being able to remember the rest of the old muggle song.

'What time is it?' she mumbles groggily.

'Half twelve! So get up! There are presents waiting!' I do an extra high bounce and land on the floor. I run out the door and bang on Maddie's door. Jelly opens it and stares me blankly.

'Yesssss?'

I roll my eyes and grab her by the arm. Her eyes widen. 'Assault, assault!' she cries.

Maddie runs to the door and stares at me. She is clearly more awake than Jelly. But her brain doesn't seem to be functioning properly yet.

'You've got purple penguins on your pyjamas,' she tells me sombrely.

I never noticed.

Idiot!

'Come on!' I drag Jelly and she drags Maddie who grabs onto Tessie who was lurching in the dark space behind the door, and we march down the stairs. Well, I march, they…crawl. Kinda ruining the way I imagined this moment.

'Merry Christmas!' I grin as I enter the big Ball room. The room is a long rectangle and the floors are dark, polished, wood. The wall opposite the door is all glass. There's a large fireplace on the right wall that is burning warmly now and in the right corner, by the window, is a Christmas tree that could rival the ones in Hogwarts! It nearly touches the high ceiling and hundreds of presents are piled under it. A big couch and five squashy armchairs are to the left of the tree and that's where Avril, John and Marie have parked their toushies.

We all exchange hugs and kisses and then the fun starts. The four of us rush over to the presents under the tree and search for ones labelled with our names. We make piles of our gifts.

'Fifteen,' Maddie announces.

'Ten,' Jelly says.

'Ten,' Tessie says, high fiving Jelly.

'Nine,' I say, scanning through them.

Every year we compete to see who gets the most presents. In the past, whoever's house we were at got the most. Then it was between the other three to see who came second. I cannot lose! Nooo!

Let me see; A present from mum and dad. One from Paul and May. One from Tessie's mum, Rebecca, one from Auntie Tee, one from the girls, one from John and Marie, one from Avril, one from Uncle Mark, one from Granddad Summers and one from Cousin Joey.

'Ha-ha! You have to clean up the wrapping paper!' Tessie teases.

'Excuse me, Ms. Amy has letters.' I look down at Tabby, (even sitting I'm taller than her!)

'Thanks Tabby,' I take the letters and inspect them. There's bulges in them…

I open the first, one with pretty, swirly writing. I take out the letter first.

_Dear Amy, _

_I got this for you and forgot to give it to you on the train. I hope you like it. Thank you for my present! I love the talking-notes book. Really handy! It'll be brilliant for O.W.L.'s! _

_I don't think mine will be as much use to you, but it will look nice with your eyes! _

_Have a wonderful Christmas! See you in the New Year!_

_Love, Lily._

I smile down at the perfect writing and fish my fingers around in the envelope. My fingers touch something thin and cold. I pull it out and lay it on my palm. It's a necklace. Hanging from the short silver chin is a small sapphire blue butterfly. It's beautiful.

'Wow, Lily's got taste,' Maddie breathes, looking over my shoulder.

'I'll put it on.' Tessie takes the chain and fastens it around my neck. It sits at the base of throat.

'It does go with you're eyes,' Jelly nods.

'You've got another one,' Maddie points out. I take a deep breath and feel a tickle against my throat. I look at my reflection in the window and see that when I breathe in, the butterfly's wings flutter gently once. An unnoticeable movement unless your feeling it.

'She is a charm genius!' I say, shaking my head in awe. I open the next envelope, and pull out the note. It's crumpled and there is a single letter on it.

_S._ In the envelope is a silver ring with a swirly design engraved on it. It looks like the picture version of wind-

_Your accent reminds me of the wind; strong and powerful. _

That's cute,' Jelly smiles, touching the ring.

'Who's it from?'

'Sirius,' I murmur, turning the ring around in my fingers.

'That's so sweet,' Maddie sighs. I look up at them and nod, sliding the ring onto my right index finger. The wind design turns dark blue after flashing purple, orange and black. I frown, not knowing what it means. It's hardly a mood ring.

No one else notices and we carry on opening presents. I got some really good stuff! But now my stomach is tight with guilt. I didn't get him anything. I glance down at my finger. Nope, no colour changes, so it's not a mood ring. I wonder if he'll be mad that I didn't him anything? I don't think he was expecting anything. But neither was I. Ugh! Why does this boy always make me question everything I do?

!

I am so stuffed. I lie on the couch by the window in the ballroom and massage my tummy. I have never eaten so much in my life! I tried to pull away after my second helping of trifle, but Marie just kept taking out more food! Tessie groans, pulling at the waistband of her tight black dress. We all changed into something more appropriate for the Christmas dinner. I am so glad my short- and very cute- red and cream check dress is floaty and doesn't cling.

'Aw, lads!'

'Shh,' I moan at Maddie, who, as per usual, has to ruin the quiet, peaceful moment.

'But lads, it's snowing!' she says excitedly, shaking my shoulder. I sit up and peer out the window into the dark night lit only by the lampposts that line the drive. Sure enough, white wisps are falling and sticking to the ground, building up quickly.

'Come on!' Tessie runs from the room and out the front door and I follow her quickly. It's freezing! I look around for Tessie and spot her by the gate. She's leaning over it and looking down the road outside. It's quiet.

'It's freezing!' Jelly protests from the doorway. I catch Maddie's eyes and know we have the same plan. She quirks an eyebrow and I wink, giving my consent. I run and hide behind the car thingy as she approaches Jelly.

'Come on, Jelly, its brilliant!' she assures her. She takes her hand and pulls her out of the porch. I gather snow in my hands, shaping it into something resembling a sphere, wincing as the cold of it stings my hands. 'Come on,' Maddie repeats, leading Jelly right in front of me. They stop, backs to me and I'm in a perfect spot to throw it at her. If only she'd throw around.

'Jelly,' I call. She turns and I fire the ball of snow, hitting her right in the face. Maddie and I burst into laughter as Jelly scowls.

'Oh, it's on!' she shouts, running to Tessie and pulling her behind a tree.

'Quick! To the fortress!' Maddie screams, scrambling behind the car beside me. We gather the snow and make a plan.

'You've got brilliant aim from Quidditch, so you throw them,' Maddie instructs. I nod just as a ball of white soars right past my ear. Oh, it's on indeed!

It turns into a full-on war. Tessie throws snowballs for their team. Eventually, we come to a block, where I have one snowball left and she has two.

'Do you give up?' she shouts.

'Never,' I laugh.

'Fine,' she laughs back. She throws a snowball and I duck, making it hit Maddie's elbow. She glares at the tree they're hiding behind. She hands me the last snowball and looks at me seriously.

'Go get them,' she says sombrely.

I salute and run out from behind the car at the same time that Tessie appears from behind the tree. We run at eachother, making battle calls and strange faces. Just as we lift our snowballs, we…collide. We go down in a heap of arms and legs and cold snow, right outside the front door of the house. We are in stitches laughing.

'Eew! Get your butt out of my face!' I complain.

'Remove your face from my butt,' Tessie mimics my whiny voice. We both laugh and give up trying to stand, collapsing back onto the cold, hard, wet ground. I somehow find the energy to untangle my legs from Tessie's and lie beside her, looking up at the stars.

'You're my best friend, you know that right?' she says.

'I-'

'Tessie! Tessie!' We raise ourselves up onto our elbows to stare at Marie, standing in the doorway with a white face and shaking hands. John is just visible behind her; talking to another man I've never seen before.

Marie says something to Avril and she disappears into thin air. Marie and stares at us, tears sparkling in her eyes.

'What mum?' Maddie asks worriedly.

'Oh, Tessie,' she says, before a low sob comes out of her mouth. I've never seen her sad before.

'What?' Tessie whispers.

'Tessie, it's- your-' she breaks off again.

'What?' I beg, watching Tessie's horrified face with a sense of growing anticipation. She's just ruined all the Christmas Cheer!

'Your dad, he's been found,' she whispers.

'Isn't that good?' Maddie asks, utterly confused.

Marie shakes her head, sobbing again. 'John.' Her voice comes out like a plea. He appears beside her, putting an arm around her. His face is pale.

'Matt's body was found in Hungary.'

His body.

* * *

**The happiness couldn't last forever. Sadly :( This is where things get serious. I hope ye liked it! Review and tell me! The last two chapters didn't get a lot of feedback. It's ok if your late, you can still review! **

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	18. Dreams of the past

_Tessie POV_

Dead. Gone. My daddy is dead. Why?

'Why do all good things have to be ruined? Why can't anything ever STAY THE SAME? Why does bad always have to win?' I sob into the soft, golden hair that smells like summer. Why does she always smell like summer, even in winter?

She tightens her arm around my shoulders and I bury my face deeper into the warm, gold hair that sits on her shoulder. I inhale deeply, trying to remember the smell of her. I don't know how much longer I'll have her here with me. She could be gone any day. I almost laugh. I'd be doomed without her. She always knows what to do, what to say, and when to just do nothing, say nothing. She knows that now is one of those moments. She knows that all I need right now is someone to listen, to agree with me. I need someone to hold me and kiss me and remind me where I am, and tell me they love me so I don't forget. But Amy can't do that for me. I need _him_.

'Is Andrew coming?' I whisper.

She nods. 'Marie wrote to everyone we know, got Avril to apparate to my house and Jelly's and… yours. She told everyone, let them know when the,' she pauses and breathes in deeply, 'funeral is.'

'And when is it?' I ask, trying not to sound bitter.

'Saturday.'

'That's not soon enough!' I sob.

'They need to investigate the scene and then bring his body over here,' Amy says soothingly.

'It's not fair,' I say as if it's just an observation. I say it like I'd say 'I like ice-cream' or 'Cows go 'moo'. I say it like that's just how it is.

'No. It's not,' she agrees. We sit in silence, brooding over the unfairness of life.

'I dreamt last night, Amy. About what it was going to be like when Dad got home. We'd go horse-riding again for hours at a time, like we used to. We'd race and I'd win and he'd laugh and congratulate me like I'd won by myself, not because he slowed down as we rounded the last bend when he should've sped up. And he'd say, 'Let's go home,' and I'd whine and beg to stay out and he'd bribe me with another race home. He'd let me win again, but wouldn't hold back as much this time. We'd get home and mum would be cooking and we'd come in and dad would say something about how it smells so good. Mum would laugh as he kissed her and I'd give out to Felix about how public displays of affection were disgusting. That will never happen again. You know what I said to my daddy the last time he asked me to go riding?' I ask her.

'What did you say to him?' she asks, sounding vague and thoughtful, but I know she's listening. She listens when it's important. At least, she tries to… But is this important?

'I said no. You know why?'

'Why?' she whispers.

'I didn't want to miss meeting Hex from the Wild Banshees when they came to Diagon Alley.' I remember how he assured me he didn't mind and I rushed out the door without a hug.

'I should've hugged him,' I whisper brokenly.

'What did you say?' Amy asks guiltily and I know I've lost her to her own thoughts.

'Nothing-'

There's a knock on the door to our room. I look up at Amy guiltily; when we went to bed last night, we were supposed to sleep. But instead we talked all night long. Well, I talked and cried. She hugged. I remember the resistance I put up against going to bed. It just seemed wrong to get any peace when there was so much to do. Although, what did I get done? Besides using up three boxes of tissues?

'It's Marie,' a muffled voice calls.

'Come in,' Amy calls, getting up off my bed with a grunt and opening the curtains.

'Are you alright?' she asks worriedly. Her eyes are red and puffy.

'Yeah,' I say, more to fill the silence than anything else.

'People have started to arrive. Your family won't be here until Thursday, Amy, their flu network is broken and side-long apparition is dangerous in bad weather. Tessie, your mum is downstairs…'

That's all she needed to say. I sprint past her and take the stairs three at a time. 'Mum? Mum!' I throw myself into the small redhead's arms and we fall onto the couch, crying.

_Amy POV_

'How are you, Amy?' Marie asks hesitantly. I shrug, not taking my eyes from their stare-spot on the wall. 'There's no point in being in here on your own. Maddie and Jelly are in her room. Go on into them,' she suggests hesitantly.

I shake my head. 'No, I need to shower. Don't want to be smelly,' I say, smiling weakly.

'I think someone is coming to see you soon, but if you want to talk now…' Marie hesitates.

I just nod.

'Ok. Be careful in the shower. There's new shampoo in the cabinet under the sink,' she tells me. I nod again. She looks at me for a long time before squeezing my shoulder and leaving.

'If I need to talk to anyone, I'll write to my mom,' I say bitterly to the empty room. It looks back at me, empty and bare. The pale cream walls of the big room feel like they're coming closer to me. I go into the attached bathroom, a big one with a marble counter with a sink in it and presses with fancy handles built into the bottom. I avoid the mirror and instead duck down and open one of the presses. This one has towels and face cloths in it. I open the other one and see it's filled with different shampoos, conditioners and body gels. I grab the first bottle of everything I touch and put them on the little shelf in the shower box. It's a fancy one with marble walls and a glass door. I turn the water on to the hottest temperature and then pull off my check dress from last night.

I step in and gasp as the water scalds my bare chest and stomach. I reach for the knob and stop. I'll get used to it. I shampoo and condition and then cover myself in body gel. I managed to pick the mango one. Great, I smell like a fucking tutti-frutti. After I'm clean, I stand in the shower and let the hot water run down my body in mini currents. I feel my eyes get wet, but I don't cry. I can't cry. It's not my job to cry. It's my job to comfort, to stay strong and try to convince Tessie that it'll be ok. That's what she needs me to do.

When the water turns cold, I know I've been in here way too long. I turn off the water and step out, dry myself and search for a robe or something. Anything…..? I spot a pile of fabric by the door and go over to investigate. There's a deep blue dress and black tights as well as black pumps. I frown but put them on. What is with people and making me wear blue?

I dry my hair with my wand and step out into the bedroom. I sit at the dressing table and put on Lily's necklace before looking in the mirror. My face is paler than usual but I can't find the energy to put on make up. But I might look like I don't care if I don't put something on. My hand hovers over a tube of foundation.

'You don't need it,' a deep, husky voice says from behind me. I whirl around, startled, hand flying to my waist where my wand is stuck into my belt. A figure is sitting on the bed. Messy black hair, grey eyes, but something is missing.

Sirius isn't smiling.

'How did you get in?' I ask as way of greeting as I move to open the window.

'Friendly,' he observes. 'Maddie's mother told me to come up and see you.'

'Sorry if my cheer and hospitality isn't up to standard,' I snap, kicking his dangling foot as I pass. I pull the window shut and stand staring out it for a while. _Don't cry, don't cry._

'Hey, I'm sorry,' his whisper is by my neck as he stands behind me. He takes my hand in his and turns me to look at him. 'I didn't mean to be insensitive,' he says.

'Its fine, I'm a little snappy,' I admit, going to lie back on the bed. He sits beside me and strokes my face softly.

'You're not snappy,' he assures me quietly. 'You're grieving.'

'Is that what this shit feeling is?' I whisper, my voice cracking.

'Ah, Amy,' he sighs, wrapping his arms around me. I hide my face in his shoulder as my arms wrap around his neck. I squeeze my eyes shut tight, and beg God that no tears to fall. He holds my waist tightly and whispers softly in my ear. I don't know what he's saying, but it doesn't really matter.

'Did you see Tessie downstairs? Is she ok?' I ask, sitting up.

'Shh, relax. She's with Andrew. They're in one of the guest rooms,' he assures me. I put my head in my hands and try not to imagine what the emotional wreck could be doing with her boyfriend. Please let it not be anything stupid.

'I'm sorry you had to leave your holiday in France,' I mumble.

'Don't be. I'd rather be with you any day.'

'I don't know why,' I mutter.

'Because France was too cold,' he teases weakly.

I laugh once and then stop as it hurts my chest. I need someone to make this pain go away. I need someone to hold me tightly and keep me in reality. I take my face out of my hands and kneel on the bed beside Sirius, resting my hand on his shoulder.

'What do you need, Amy?' he asks me, putting a hand on the small of my back to steady me.

'I need you,' I whisper truthfully before kissing him hard. His lips respond and I waste no time in getting tongues involved. The more touch, the better. I fist one hand in his hair and one at the back of his neck, gripping it tightly. He pushes me back against the headboard of the bed and kisses me hungrily. I feel myself lose my sense as he puts more pressure on my lips. The girl that scolded Sirius on the train for getting to touchy is gone and the emotional, confused one is letting his right hand sit on my thigh as his left one inches toward my butt again. He stops suddenly and looks at me. I make an impatient noise.

'What?' I demand.

'I don't think you're in the right mind right now,' he says carefully.

I roll my eyes. 'Yes I am!'

'But-'

'What are we gonna do?' I demand.

'Well, nothing, but-'

'Exactly! Nothing! We're kissing, that's all,' I say, annoyed. 'If you don't want to kiss me, that's fine, though,' I say, moving away from him as the thought occurs.

'How can you think I don't want to kiss you?' he demands, exasperated. 'Of course I do, but I don't want you to feel bad-'

'_Bad? _I already feel bloody _bad!_ I'm trying to forget that! I want you to _help _me to Sirius!_' _I explode. I feel the tears form in my eyes. I shut them tightly, but it's too late; they spill down my cheeks and I can't stop them. They're hot and heavy and feel like they're burning my skin.

'Don't cry,' he pleads, moving towards me. I shake my head and he doesn't touch me. I feel so stupid. I try to take a deep breath and stop them, but they keep coming.

'I'm such an idiot!' I whine.

'No you're not. It's natural to cry. And you have a perfectly good reason to,' he soothes me.

'No, I don't! I don't have any right to cry! It's not my _job _to cry! It's their job to cry!'

'Whose?' he asks, confused.

'Tessie's and Maddie's and Jelly's. It's them that cry! I don't cry. I _can't _cry! I have to stay strong and try to convince them to keep going, that everything will be ok!'

'Maybe I should get Maddie or-or Jelly,' he stutters, moving from the bed and keeping his worried gaze on me.

'No, you idiot!' I snap. 'I'm not having some kind of break-down, I'm explaining to you!' I shout at him, frustrated that he doesn't understand.

'Well you're explaining in a bloody queer way!' he shouts back, annoyed too.

'You're not listening!' I cry.

He stares at me for a minute and then shuts his eyes and breathes deeply for a few moments. Finally he looks at me again.

'I'm sorry. Start again. Slowly this time,' he says gently.

'Sit down,' I command in a mutter, yanking on the hem of my stupid dress.

'Ok,' he agrees, settling himself beside me again and hesitating for a second before taking my hand. I smile at our intertwined hands. He squeezes my hand and I look up at him. 'Go on.'

'When we were gone, it was tough. The girls would get down. _I _used to get down. It was hard; we felt like we were getting nowhere for so long. They wanted to go home, and I agreed with them. We had everything packed up and were sleeping in a hotel for what we had decided was going to be our last night. I dreamt that Matt was disappointed in me for letting the girls get so dejected, for allowing them to give up. So I woke up and emptied my bag. Then I emptied Maddie's bag, and Tessie's bag, but I hesitated when I got to Jelly's bag. Maybe I shouldn't unpack Jelly? Maybe I should make her go home without us. She took being alone so much harder than we did. I was convinced it was in her best interest to put her on a train back to Edinborough. But when I tried to suggest it, she wouldn't let me. And she's nothing if not stubborn; I didn't stand a chance. So I let her stay. We started on what we always refer to as leg two of the journey. This was much better. But we did have to be there for eachother, and find a system that worked. We slowly took on specific roles. We were all capable of doing something and things became easier when we found what it was.

Jelly was the one that came up with the…first draft, if you will, of the plan. Then we all pitched in and developed it, made it better. Maddie was the one who could get us out of tight spots and found us good resources, and Tessie was the considerate one that reminded us that we couldn't fly, we didn't have explosives, and basically ruined the fun.' I smile fondly.

'That sounds like Remus,' Sirius chuckles.

'I suppose,' I nod.

'And how did you pitch in?' he asks.

'Like I told you before, I didn't have a problem with taking risks. I was the one that put many of the plans into action. I was a bit of an idiot, I suppose, looking back. Some of the things I did could have gone horribly wrong.'

'But they obviously didn't. I mean you're sitting here in one piece,' he observes.

'There were some close ones,' I recall.

'There's just one thing I don't get; why did everyone give you all the responsibility? Why not Tessie? It's her dad. Or Maddie? She seems like the leader-type.'

I shrug. 'I don't know for sure. At first, when it was just me and Tessie, I thought it was because Matt knew and trusted me and didn't want his little girl out on the front line in more danger.

There was a time when I let Maddie take over. I had never been elected leader or anything after all; it was just that Tessie trusted me. It was never a spoken thing; I mean no one ever said 'Amy is in charge.' And I wasn't really. We formed plans together and if anyone didn't want to do something, we found another way.' I shrug and stop talking, tired. I lean against his arm and stare out the window.

'I think Matt would be proud of you all,' Sirius finally says.

'You don't know how much I hope that,' I whisper.

He cups my face gently in his hands. 'I think I have an idea.'

* * *

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	19. Accepting Grattitude

_Sirius POV_

I sit in the Ball room, staring out the window at the two figures walking up and down the path outside the Ashton Mansion. The path connects the other mansions on the street, all equally as big Maddie's. The two girls are starting their ninth circuit of the neighbourhood. They look good together. Both are tall and slim, wearing matching black parkas. One's hair is white-blonde, to her shoulders. The other's is darker, shinier, the colour of golden syrup, or the sun, maybe. It's longer, falling nearly halfway down her back. Tessie and Amy link arms as they make their way down the snow-coated path.

'They look good in the snow, don't they?' I look up to see who had spoken. It was Maddie. She leans against the mantel piece, staring out the window at them. 'Like they belong in the whiteness,' she continues.

I look back out the window and nod. 'They do,' I agree.

'It was good of you to come and see Amy,' she says after a while, somewhat grudgingly. 'She acts like things don't affect her, but it's clear they do. It's quite frustrating, really.' She sighs.

'What is?' I ask.

'She feels like she needs to protect us all the time. I've known her for two and a half years and I still don't know why. She's not even the oldest. I am. Then Tessie, then Amy, then Jelly.'

'Something she told me earlier…well, I don't get it,' I say carefully.

'It can be hard to understand what goes through her head sometimes. What is it?'

'She was telling me about when you were out looking for Matt,' I pause, hoping I haven't upset her with the mention of their dead friend. She looks at me questioningly. I continue. 'She said it was…a democracy of sorts. No one person was in charge. But it sounded, from the way she told her stories, like you all looked to her…' I trail off.

'I'm not sure what you're asking. But I'll try to explain the nature of our…democracy, as you call it,' she smiles as she stares out the window thoughtfully. 'When Jelly and I first joined Amy and Tessie, it seemed Tessie depended on her. Tessie valued her opinion, asked for her help to make decisions, and agreed with her. They seemed to have a connection with eachother. Tessie told us their plan the day after we joined them, after being alone with Amy for quite some time. I can only assume they were deciding whether to tell us or not.

At first we thought it was an unfair friendship, that Amy secretly told Tessie what to do, they she wore the pants, if you will. But after observing them, we couldn't find any signs of bossiness or authority. We saw that it was actually Amy that backed up Tessie. Tessie seemed to have many good ideas, but was too nervous or embarrassed to voice them. Amy helped her to get her opinions out there.

We soon found out we needed someone to take charge. But it was never a spoken thing, it just became clear, and I decided to slip into the job subtly. I think Amy always knew what I was trying to do. But she never said anything. I was the most vocal in plan sessions and well… I suppose I thought I was very clever, the way I'd wormed into the leader spot. But I couldn't shake the feeling that Amy was amused by me, that she was _letting _me talk above her at those plan sessions.

I soon learned that I was not quite the best choice to be the unspoken leader of our group. I made a huge mistake in France, when it was just Amy and I on a 'mission'. I got carried away by my own arrogance and Amy had to save my life. I suppose that was when we became close.

If it sounded like we all looked to her, it's because we did. From then on, I stopped competing with her and started embracing her intelligence, her bravery, her natural charisma. She made good decisions and she was fair. She could put what she needed to do in front of what she wanted to do. She was, and still is, a very reassuring person. It's easy to trust her.'

'Yeah,' I agree.

'Does that answer your question?' she asks.

'Yes, I understand it better now. Amy was very vague while explaining it all,' I mutter.

'Yes, she's adamant not to admit she was what held us together. She likes to see the strongest part of everyone, and she doesn't like to make us sound weak.' She shrugs. 'She's also hilarious, sarcastic, always has a smart-ass come-back and hates mornings. So, good luck to ya!' she says sarcastically. I laugh uncomfortably. It feels like she doesn't really approve of me.

'Maddie? Here you are! Your mother wants help with the dinner. Something about fifty people to feed and you sitting here chatting up my boyfriend!' Amy comes in, snow in her hair. I glance out the window, Andrew has replaced her, holding Tessie's hand and giving her his hat.

Why didn't I think of giving her something to keep her warm?

I study Amy; her nose is pink and so are her ears. A couple of snowflakes sit on her long lashes. She shrugs out of her coat and drapes it over a chair. She seems calmer now, but there is still a sad shape to pale lips and a tightness in her body, as if she's trying to keep herself from falling apart. Which I know is probably exactly what she is doing.

_Amy POV_

'I have my own boyfriend, but thanks for the offer. If I ever leave Conor, I will definitely give Sirius an owl,' Maddie mutters, rolling her eyes as she leaves.

'He'd never leave me!' I call after her. I sit next to Sirius on the couch and follow his gaze out the window. 'Whatcha looking at?' I ask.

'Nothing. You were out there for a while. Have you got frostbite yet?' he asks jokingly. He picks up my hand and rubs it with his, warming it up.

'No,' I murmur, closing my eyes in content.

'That's a relief,' he murmurs as he pulls me back into his chest. I pull my legs up in front of me. 'How is she?'

'Tessie? I think Andrew's soothed her a bit. He's very good with her,' I can hear the jealousy in my voice.

'So are you.'

'He has a different effect on her than I do. I can't describe it. It's just…different.' I sigh, opening my eyes and watching them out the window. They're sitting on the garden wall, Andrew's arm around Tessie and her head on his shoulder.

'Do they know when the funeral is?' he asks. I take in his face. He doesn't look frightened that he's upset me or awkward about asking the obvious question. He deals with death well.

'They think maybe Saturday,' I tell him quietly.

'When's your family coming?'

'Thursday. When do you have to go?' I ask him.

'Tomorrow morning,' he grumbles.

'You're only staying one day?' I ask, trying my damn hardest to sound nonchalant, not disappointed. Eugh…when did I get s dependent on a _boy?_

'Yeah, I wanted to stay longer, but the snow's supposed to pick up tomorrow evening and Mrs. Potter would go mental if I got stuck here.'

'Yeah, I understand.' I guess I do understand. Mrs. Potter's like his mom, she'd be so worried if he was away from her for too long.

'Amy?' I look up at Tessie as she leans around the door. 'Mum wants to see you.' She disappears again.

Oh no! I'd been avoiding Rebecca since she got here. I didn't want to see the look on her face, the tears in her eyes. I didn't want to hear her talk about how her family was torn apart. Didn't want to hear her thank me for something I didn't deserve her gratitude for. But now I didn't have a choice, because she was asking for me specifically.

'Go on,' Sirius urges, pushing on my back.

'Nngh!' I protest, trying to resist his beater strength. Don't know why I wasted my energy. I end up falling off the couch. I look up at him with what I hope are very cute, irresistible, puppy-dog eyes. He just gives me a long-suffering look and prods me with his foot. 'Fine,' I huff, standing up and leaving the room.

I peak around the sitting room door. For the first time I see all the people that have come to sympathise. There are so many of them! I recognise I few faces. Someone tugs on my sleeve and I look down at Tabby. 'This way, miss,' she squeaks sombrely. I follow her to the kitchen and hesitate at the doorway. I can see the blonde-red hair of Rebecca at the table and Tessie's white head beside her. Should I knock?

'Amy, come in. Tessie, close the door on your way out.' Rebecca's voice sounds tired and dry, but there's no trace of tears.

'But mum-' Tessie protests.

'Now.'

Tessie stalks past me, glowering at nothing in particular. The slam of the door loses the effect she desired as it slams into my backside, making me stumble into the room. Perhaps that _was _her intention…

'Sit down,' she gestures to the chair opposite her. Straightening my back and holding my head up, I sit across from her. I don't do this to be defiant or cheeky. I do it because I know it's what she wants.

'First off,' she starts, making eye-contact with me. Her face breaks into a small, strained smile. 'I've missed you.'

I smile back. 'I missed you too. There was no one to make me cookies. I thought I'd never survive,' I sigh.

'I'm surprised you did without someone to cook for you! We all know what a rotten cook you are,' she smiles distantly.

'Yeah,' I sigh sadly. I'd always liked the idea of being independent. But that was kinda ruined when I was twelve and I set the kettle on fire. All mum had wanted me to do was heat the milk. Apparently you can't put milk into a kettle…

'I know you probably want to go and be with your friends and, as I'm told, _boy_friend, so I won't keep you long. I just wanted to thank you,' she says. Oh crap, here it comes.

'I can't except-'

'Surely your pride can take some gratitude, can't it?' she interrupts.

'My pride has nothing to do with it! I don't want your thanks because I didn't do anything. I deserve them no more than Jelly or Maddie-'

'I have thanked them already. I wanted to thank you on your own, because-as much as you may refuse to believe it- you are what kept Tessie together. But it's not just that. You've changed her. She's not a shy, self-conscious little girl that completely fades into the background anymore. She says what she thinks and I've noticed it already! Simple things that if she disagreed with before she'd ignore she is now saying what she thinks of. Like today I said how the snow was terrible and she said she loved it! She used to anything to avoid a debate or argument but now she stands her ground!'

'I didn't mean-'

'I'm not saying it's bad!' she laughs, exasperated. 'It's bloody fantastic!' she says enthusiastically. She reaches over and hugs me. 'I am devastated about Matt- I can't imagine things without him. But all the way here it wasn't life without Matt I was despairing about. It was Tessie. I couldn't imagine how she'd cope-poor, fragile Tessie. But instead I was met by a Tessie that I thought could cope. Of course she is heartbroken now, but I can't see this ruining or scarring her. And it's you I have to thank for that! You toughened her up!' she smiles and laughs again.

'Um…ok.' Brilliant response, asshole.

She laughs again. It seems that the joy of a more confident Tessie is taking over her whole mind right now. Tessie is the same; they can only feel one emotion at a time, but God to they feel it hard. And their quick mood swings could be murderous!

'One last thing, Amy. I haven't really got a chance to speak with him properly yet. What's your view on Andrew?'

I laugh this time myself. 'He's great. Tessie will never be neglected or have to worry about 'other girls'. It's clear she's the only one,' I assure her.

'Good. And you and your boyfriend? What's his name?' she asks politely.

'Sirius Black.' No point trying to soften the blow; it'll still be the same. _'Oh no, Amy is dating the pure-blood rich boy that's obsessed with ancestry! What will we do?_

'That's…' she pauses, frowning. 'Nice,' she finally says.

'Yeah, he's brilliant,' I say before squeezing her shoulder and heading to the door. 'See you later.' I pause, hand on the handle. 'Rebecca?'

'Mm-hm?' she answers vaguely. I can see tears forming in her eyes. One of those crazy mood changes is taking place. She's about to start grieving fully again. I almost chicken out of what I am planning to say, but a mental-flick makes me say it.

'He really loved you.'

She smiles sadly as the tears run down from her eyes. 'Too bad love is never enough.'

**Another sad one, I know. I have to do another...mm...2 more sad ones, maybe, and then it can lighten up a bit again. ;)**

**Thanks to all who reviewed and please continue to! Hint hint...NOW!**

**Haha xxxx**

**Oh, and i don't know if Ill have another one BEFORE Xmas so just in case, MERRY CHRISTMAS! Hope ye all get lots of presents! :D**

**PS! We've done it! Ovr 50 reviews! the people that made that possible..I thank you! Ye know who ye are! :)**


	20. Reunion

I smother my face into my pillow and cover my head with the blanket. Unfortunately, the insistent banging on the bedroom door does not cease. I groan and squeeze my eyes shut even tighter against the unwanted morning light.

'I hear you, Amy Summers!'

I freeze in the act of biting my pillow in frustration and hold my breath. Maybe if I keep real quiet, they'll think I've fled out the window!

'You, know you're not helping _me_ by coming out to say goodbye to your boyfriend. I don't care if you don't kiss him and bid him farewell! I wouldn't even be waking you if I hadn't got the short straw. _Again!' _she grumbles very loudly for me to hear.

I fire the nearest decorative cushion at the door before her words sink in. Sirius is leaving! I'm going to miss him! I fling back the covers and race to the door, throwing it open and sprinting past a disgusted looking Maddie. I take the stairs three at a time and head for the open front door.

'It was _open?_' I hear her shout angrily from the landing. The cold, slush covered ground stings my feet as I walk to the muggle car waiting outside the house. I try to look calm and collected, like I haven't just sprinted down the stairs. Like I am perfectly aware and not embarrassed that I am in my penguin pyjamas. If I'm lucky, people will think my cheeks are red from the cold. It's not like I'm blushing because I'm wearing cute, cartoon animals that come from Polar Regions. That's totally not why.

Mm-Hm. Sure.

Shut up.

And now I'm being bitchy to myself. That's just great!

I approach the auror about to get into the car. His travelling cloak is long and skims the ground. He looks familiar. Messy black hair with wisps of grey and blue eyes that sparkle in a way I've seen in a pair of hazel eyes.

'Mr. Potter?' I ask.

'Good morning, Ms. Summers,' he smiles politely.

'What are you doing here?'

'Well, I am staying with him.' The head pops out the window, smiling mischievously.

'Right,' I say. I'm really stupid in the morning…

'Well, we best be off. Goodbye Ms. Summers.' Mr. Potter tips his hat and opens the car door.

'One minute,' Sirius says as he opens his own door and gets out.

'Hurry,' Mr. Potter urges. 'You know how the Mrs. Gets when we're late for lunch.' Sirius leads me to a tree a couple of feet away from the car. He kisses me once and then turns to leave. I catch his arm. He looks at me questioningly.

'That wasn't one minute,' I argue. He rolls his eyes. 'It was a figure of speech, Amy.'

'I don't care.' I lean up on my tippy-toes and kiss him again. He laughs against my mouth and pushes me back onto the soles of my feet. He takes my hand off his arm and squeezes it. Before letting it go, he brings it up to his face. How romantic would it be if he kissed my hand right now?

He doesn't. I try not to show my disappointment or sulk. He just inspects my right hand forefinger. He smiles slightly.

'What?' I ask.

'You wore it,' he smiles.

'Of course,' I say obviously. 'What does it do, Sirius? It's not a mood ring, is it?' I ask hopefully. Mood-rings are cheesy.

'No,' he laughs. 'It's a person-ring.'

'What does it mean if it's blue?' I murmur, examining the ring.

'I have to go now, but I'll send the book with the explanations to you with Hugo. Bye!' he hugs me and then runs to the car. It starts to drive to the big gates, and as it passes me Sirius calls out the window, 'Out of curiosity, what colour was it when you first put it on?'

'Um,' I struggle to remember. 'Purple, orange and black.'

He nods, as if it makes sense to him and then the gates open and the car is gone.

!

It is bloody convenient that he's gone just before my family gets here, isn't it? I mean, that must have been why he was in such a rush! Oh, I am pissed off at him!

I watch the black car park in the drive. A woman that is average height exits the back of it, along with two tall men and a short woman. I am pretty much an expert on all things 'car' by now. Shawn and Conor have arrived so now all the girls are with their boyfriends. I was very bored so I decided to converse with one of the drivers. He was from the magical transport department of the ministry. Apparently, these cars can fly and expand. I'd love to try that out!

The two men lug the suitcases out of the boot. John comes out and shakes hands with the two men and then assists them with the luggage. Marie hugs the two women, and then the Ashtons swap, John kissing the women on the cheeks and Marie hugging the men.

I check my reflection quickly as I go to the door. My own jeans and boots are paired with a dark blue floaty top that was left by the door and Lily's butterfly necklace. And again, please note that THEY HAVE MADE ME WEAR BLUE! What's wrong with purple? Or green, or even a bit of pink!

I skip down the stairs and lean against the frame of the open front door, smiling as I listen to their warm-and a bit boring- chatter. Jelly and Maddie appear behind me. Oh, so they could bare to be separated from their lads long enough to check out-

'Mm, mm,' Jelly breathes.

'_Damn,_ Paul is looking _hot,'_ Maddie purrs in my ear.

I make vomiting noises and pretend to throw up all over Maddie's converse. She pokes me hard in the back.

'Oh Paul, Maddie wants to smooch-'

'Grow up,' she snaps, elbowing me.

'Where is she?' the small woman asks excitedly.

'Well, if you mean a gorgeous, smart, funny, blonde that just seems to _glow _and _radiate _beauty,' I say from the door, a smirk on my face. 'Then I'm right here.'

'That's not who we were looking for at all!' The younger man grins. He comes toward me, reaching out to hug me. In any other case, his height would be intimidating or scary. Not Paul, though. His light brown hair, a half shade darker than my mother, is messy. His green eyes that always look like they're laughing shine. He lifts me up and spins me around, and I can smell the sea air that is always lingering on him, even when he hasn't been anywhere near a beach. I kick my legs out and struggle to be let go.

'I missed you, shortie,' he grins, setting me down and ruffling my hair.

'Yes, well, that's understandable,' I sniff, smacking his hand away firmly. 'I can only imagine how dark your lives have been in my absence,' I say gravely.

'Without the light that shines from your sparkling white smile, I was lost,' he agrees sorrowfully.

We stare at eachother sombrely and nod slowly at the same time. Then we burst out laughing and I wrap my arms around his middle and squeeze.

'I missed you,' I admit.

'I know,' he laughs. I release him and he turns to Maddie and Jelly. 'Hey, chickies! How've ye been?' he gathers them into a hug too. They look like they're on cloud 9 in his strong, muscled arms! Shawn and Conor need to watch out!

'Amy!' The small, slender woman drops her bag and grabs me with more force than she looks like she possesses. I hug her back, smiling. I'm a full head taller than her!'

'Last time I saw you, I had an inch on you!' May says, appalled. Her pale face relaxes into an easy smile and she stands back to study me. 'You are so beautiful!' she announces brightly.

'Of course she is!' A deep voice chuckles. 'She's my offspring!' A tall, muscular man catches me in his arms and hugs me with care. I don't fight this hug; just relax into its familiarity. Daddy smells like mint and polish and outside. I pull back and smile at him. His short sandy hair, a couple shades darker than mine, and his brilliant dark blue eyes that I always feel I got a cheaper copy of.

'So am I,' Paul protests.

'Son, I'm afraid to say you got your mother's looks.'

'Ahem.'

'And that's why you are so lucky!' Dad says hastily with a sweet smile at mom.

'That's what I thought you meant,' mum mutters darkly, hugging me and then running her fingers through my curls. 'You cut them! Who did it? They did a good job. The layers are a little uneven though; but that's what gives it character!'

'Mum, stop!' I try to ease my hair from her grasp.

'You must be hungry! It's lunchtime anyway! Come to the kitchen! Maddie, will you get Rebecca?' Marie asks over shoulder as she herds the adults into the kitchen.

'You get her,' Maddie appeals to me quietly.

'Why can't you?' I protest.

'You're better with tears than I am! And Rebecca hates me,' she mutters.

'She doesn't,' I assure her half-heartedly. I'm not too sure really…

'Please.' She begs.

'Fine,' I huff. They make for the kitchen and I grab her wrist. 'Don't try anything on my brother,' I warn her. 'He's happily engaged to May and I want it to stay that way.'

'You wouldn't like me as a sister-in-law?'

'No,' I say sternly.

'Fine,' she huffs. She leaves me in the hall alone. I think I hear her mutter something like, 'If he wants to be with the brunette, let him.'

Ugh. Black-heads! They are so sulky!

**I know this is SO short but I just wanted to get it up for ye. Im never usually this long updating. **

**Happy new year! Hope it's brillant for ye all! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**PS: REVIEW! PLZ**


	21. Funeral Crashers

I take a deep breath as I sit in front of the mirror, wrapped in the bath robe that was left by the door. The elves have been leaving me a lot of clothes, whether as a command from Marie or not, I don't know.

I stare at the reflection. I have never before felt so distant from the girl in the mirror. Her long, curly blonde hair shines naturally in the sunlight streaming through the window. But I know the pretty sheen has been produced by a glitter charm preformed by Lily Evans, who arrived this morning for the funeral.

Her eyes are wide and dark, framed with long, thick eyelashes, and they sparkle. But I know that they look so big because of the eyeliner May applied expertly to them. I know that the eyelashes are so black and defined because of the water-proof mascara on them.

Her skin is pale and stretched tight over the bones. I know it's pale because she wouldn't accept the foundation Maddie was offering. I know it's so translucent looking, like a ghost, because she was up all night, alone in the big bedroom she shared with a Tessie that had abandoned the room in favour of her mothers'. She stayed awake all night dreading today.

I know all this because I was there. All though I admit I had been kind of spacing out while everyone helped me with my make up. I've sent them away now. I told them I could do my hair myself. That was about forty minutes ago. Progress made: I now feel even worse about everything.

I blink and so does the girl in the mirror. I jump back, off the stool and then relax. That's what reflections do; they show us our bodies, the outside of everything. Sometimes I wish they'd show us the inside too.

There's a knock on the door and Lily sticks her head around. 'Oh, you're not ready. Do you want me to help you with your hair? I think if we plait some of it back it would look really-'

'No.' I hold up a hand and she stops coming towards me, her face uncertain. She bites her lip. 'I don't need you to help me. I need to talk to Tessie. Will you get her for me?' I ask.

'Tessie? She's getting ready with her mum. I'll get Jelly or-'

'No, I need Tessie. Please, Lily, tell her I need her-' I break off, holding my breath until I feel the sob die down.

She nods, worried. 'Ok, I'll tell her.' She leaves again. Before she closes the door I hear the murmur of many quiet voices and hurried footsteps up and down the hall, on the stairs. A door slams and someone calls, 'Sorry, sorry!'

I lie back on the bed, legs dangling off the side. I can't process that today is Saturday. The funeral is today. It's so surreal. Only four days ago we were opening presents and stuffing ourselves with turkey. Now I'm preparing to bury my best friend's dad. The mental image comes to my mind again and I can't stop the sob that claws its way out of my throat. The same one has been appearing in my mind all last night and this morning; Tessie and her mother standing beside the hole in the ground as Matt's brothers and mine and Maddie's dads fill it in. Everyone is crying loudly. The part that catches me every time is my lack of presence. It's like I'm looking at it from behind a wall, or through a window; like I'm not a part of it.

The door opens and Tessie pads in, clad in slippers and a robe like mine. She has a bundle of clothes in her arms, which she drops down onto her bed wearily.

'Take your pick. I'm wearing this.' She picks out a plain black dress and black pumps from the heap. She turns her back to me and pulls the dress over her head. It's a loose, satin-y material and comes to her knee. 'Where are my tights?' she mutters to herself. I get the feeling she doesn't know I wanted her.

'Did Lily find you?' I ask her as I begin to sort through the clothes. They're all dark colours, and mostly plain.

'I passed her in the hall on my way here. She asked me was I going to see you. I said yes. She said ok. Then I entered the room.' She shrugs as she digs through her large blue duffel bag.

'Oh, ok.' I spot something dark blue and straight away fire it across the room, as far away from me as possible. It lands on Tessie's shoulder and she quirks an eyebrow at it, then resumes her search for tights. 'Did my mom send you up with these clothes?' I ask. I had asked mum in a letter to bring some dark clothes because I hadn't packed anything suitable for, well, a funeral.

'She was going to bring them up herself, but I said I'd take them because I was coming to talk to you anyway,' she says from the bag. Her head has disappeared into it and her small bum sticks up in the air as she rummages. How strong an expanding spell did she use on that bag?

'What did you want me for?' I stand and hold a dark green dress up against me. 'What do you think of this?' She looks up and shakes her head, frowning.

'Not green.'

'Well, I'm not wearing blue,' I say moodily, throwing the green dress onto the 'no' pile.

'There's a pretty grey one there somewhere,' she says airily. 'Ah-ha!' She emerges from the bag with a pair of diamond patterned black tights and a silver hair band.

'I don't see a grey dress here,' I scowl. With a sigh she crawls over and picks through the pile, then her hand comes out with a dark charcoal grey dress that shimmers in the light. Her movements are shaky and clumsy; her lack of grace hints at her grief.

'You can wear it with my black ankle boots. Your combats are too scruffy,' she says, handing me the dress. I run my hand over the crisp material of the dress. It's the one I wore for Christmas last year. I'd forgotten I had it. It has thick straps and last time I wore it, it came below my knee. I'm sure it'll be shorter now.

'What did you want me for?' I ask again as I slip the dress over my head. It still fits, at least.

'I haven't seen you much the past couple of days…'

'And you wanted to catch up?' I say dryly.

She rolls her eyes, but smiles. 'Not exactly. I just wanted to be around you. Steal some of your calm, maybe,' she jokes half-heartedly. I see that she half means it.

Trust me honey, the calm has left the building! I'm a nervous, grief-stricken wreck! I say nothing, instead pulling on my own black tights. I reach for her boots and slip my feet into them. They're freezing!

'Where did you leave these? In the fridge?' I complain.

'Outside the back door,' she admits apologetically.

'Tessie!'

'Maddie brought them in last night,' she says, as if that's some great comfort to me.

'Trying to give my toes frostbite,' I grumble, looking in the mirror. Great! The dark dress makes me look even whiter! If I ever become a vampire, I won't have a problem with the paleness! I won't miss my lovely sun-kissed skin, because I never had it to begin with! 'I'm taking it off!' I announce, dramatically pulling at it.

Tessie catches my struggling hands and pins them to my side. 'Leave it on,' she commands. 'It's nice,' she assures me. 'And do your hair! We have to go soon.'

I brush through my hair and then decide to plait the side fringe. I pin it back and ask Tessie to examine it. I ready myself for criticism.

'Do mine?' she asks, smiling.

!

'Amen.'

'Amen,' we all echo.

Dad and John step out from behind me and join Matt's brothers, Patrick, Neil and George, in lowering the coffin into the grave. Tessie and her mother are standing in front of us with Matt's sisters. They're crying and holding each other and offering tissues to Rebecca, who shakes her head and doesn't take her eyes from the coffin.

Tessie looks back at where I stand with Maddie and Jelly. She looks at me desperately. I free my hand from Jelly, who to clings to Maddie as a replacement. I go to Tessie, carefully avoiding the grave next to Matt's. She pulls her hand out of her Aunt Margret's and throws her arms around me. I hug her and turn my head away as they begin to throw the first shovels of dirt into the hole. Someone holds out a rose to Tessie to throw into the grave.

'Tessie, the rose,' I whisper.

'You do it,' she whispers back.

'Are you sure? You should-'

'I can't,' she whispers brokenly. She sobs and digs her fingers deeper into my shoulders.

'Ok.' I take the red rose from the woman and gently take Tessie's arms away from my neck. I squeeze her hand and then let go, moving closer to the edge of the hole. I stand next to Rebecca. Her lovely face lifts and her chocolate eyes, so like Tessie's, meet mine. She wraps an arm around my shoulders and we drop the roses at the same time.

I feel guilt stab me all over when I look back at Tessie- wrapped in Andrew's arms- and all I can think is

_I shouldn't have thrown that rose. It wasn't my job. _

!

Everyone is in the ballroom, eating and talking. This is the biggest funeral I've ever been to. Well, it's the only one, really, if you don't include Sir Cheddar, my pet mouse, who died when I was eleven. We buried him in a shoebox in the back garden. It was a quiet gathering. Two people attended the ceremony; Paul, the priest, and me, the mourner. Paul also dug and filled in the tiny hole and I made fairy cakes for afterwards. Well, ok, mom made them, but I stuck the smarties on top!

There has to be about two hundred people at this funeral! Many of them are from the ministry. Aurors, with stories of Matt's bravery. His family are here along with Rebecca's. Friends, old class-mates, everyone is packed into the room that once seemed huge to me. I am now finding it difficult to breathe with all the bodies.

I can't take it anymore! I weave through all the people, ducking under peoples elbows, dodging anyone I think will want to speak to me. I spot Tessie talking to an old lady with her mom. She's looking extremely tired.

I make it out the door, into the huge lobby of the Ashton manshion and see two people sitting on a step, halfway up the stairs. Paul and May are kissing passionately. Ugh, really! People could see them! And everyone knows public displays of affection are sickening! I look around to make sure no one is coming and then I get ready to break them apart. I'm bored, and I want to talk to someone. They'll have plenty for that later. I hear a distinctly male moan from the stairs and duck behind a pillar, mortified. I never wanted to hear my brother make that noise! And now I have, and I want to throw up!

'What you doing behind there?' I look up at the man, startled. He's come from the hall that stretches out in front of me. He's stocky and tall, wearing a dark green cloak. His eyes are yellowy and narrowed at me. His mousy hair is tied back, bits of it escaping. Brown stubble is on his jaws and chin.

'Nothing,' I say quickly.

'How long you been there?' he growls.

'Just a minute,' I tell him. He stares at me shrewdly before opening his mouth, revealing sharp yellow teeth.

'Greyback, there's nothing in there.' The man steps into the hall, and sees me backed up against the pillar, the man glaring at me. He fixes his cloak-black- and closes the door he came out of quietly. He's not as tall as the first man and has longer white hair.

'Who is this?' he asks, inspecting me. Closer up, I see he's not really a man at all, no older than twenty.

'Who are you? Why were you in John's study?' I demand.

'You idiot, Malfoy! He said not to be seen-'

'I know what he said,' the white haired man cuts across smoothly, coldly. He turns to me. 'I think I recognise you. Your father- is he Richard Summers?' the man asks in a calm, polite voice.

'Why are you interested? And why are gate-crashing a funeral?' I ask back stubbornly.

'Does she always answer questions with questions?' Whitey asks Mousy pleasantly.

'She must just not like you; she answered my questions just fine,' Mousy sneers.

'I'm sure,' Whitey mutters coldly.

'What will we do with her?' There's an air of unprofessionalism about these men, whoever they are. And they have me backed up against a pillar. I do not like this. Especially now that they're talking about doing stuff with me.

'Amy?'

Paul! Phew! 'Paul I'm-' Mousy clamps his hand over my mouth. With a look from Whitey, they both turn on the spot and disappear, leaving me alone behind the pillar before Paul appears.

**Thanks to all who reviewed and plz do it again! I really need your opinions on the ending of this chapter. I'm not sure if I did it realistically. Let me know what you thought! xxxxx**


	22. Denied Membership

**For Anti-Banana19: Get well soon :)**

'Who were you talking to?' Paul asks, looking around the empty hall. May appears behind him. Paul's hair is mussed and the top three buttons of May's blouse are undone. I avert my eyes.

'There were two men- they came out of John's study- they were looking for something and-'

'What?' Paul looks shocked and then angry. 'We have to tell dad,' he says, before disappearing into the ball room.

'What did they-'

'You might want to close your blouse before dad comes,' I say, suppressing a smile. Her face flushes red and she fumbles with the buttons.

'So you did see?' she asks hesitantly.

'I heard too,' I smirk.

'Oh God, how embarrassing,' she moans.

'You probably shouldn't have got that friendly on the stairs,' I tease, laughing.

She rolls her eyes and shoves me.

'Amy, tell them what you saw!' Paul reappears with not just dad, but John, mum, Jelly's mum Angie, two men I don't know and DUMBLEDORE!

'Well I was just standing behind the pillar, getting some fresh air,' I won't sell out Paul, 'and then one of them appeared. He asked me what I was doing, how long I'd been there. Then another came out of John's study and he- he called the first one Greyback. I think his name was Malfoy-'

'What did he say?' Dumbledore urges.

'He wanted to know my name-'

'You didn't tell him, did you?' Mum asks, worried. Stop interrupting me!

'No,' I roll my eyes. 'But he thought I was related to dad. I asked him why he was in your study,' I say looking at John. 'And the one called Greyback said 'He said not to be seen.'

'Then what happened?' Dumbledore asks calmly.

'They were deciding what to do with me.' Mums face pales and Paul unconsciously moves closer to me. 'Then Paul called and they disapperated.' Dumbledore turns his back to me and looks at the group

'Mad-eye, Robert, alert the rest of the order.' Dad and one of the strangers disapperate at Dumbledore's command. 'John, check your study and make sure nothing was taken-'

I interrupt Dumbledore. 'I don't think anything was. Malfoy said there was nothing in there.' I shrug.

'Check anyway,' Dumbledore tells him.

'Siobhan, Paul and May, put wards up around the house. The ease at which they entered worries me,' Dumbledore says gravely. The three disappear out the front and back doors. Then Dumbledore turns to the other stranger and Angie. 'This is your area of expertise, Mr. Diggle, Ms. Green; Unknown threats?'

They nod.

'Then I'll trust you to interview Ms. Summers-'

'Am I in trouble?' I ask, trying to sound unfazed. I can't go to jail. I'm not built to cope with a place like Azkaban!

'Not at all,' Dumbledore assures me. 'Ms. Green will explain. I must go and speak with Millicent-'

'Millicent Bagnold? The minister for Magic?' I ask, incredulous.

'Yes,' Dumbledore says briskly, pulling a hat out of his robe and putting it on. I swallow a snort with great difficulty. You have no idea how difficult it is for a person like me- sarcastic, snarky- to say nothing when someone puts a tea cosy on their head.

With a nod to Diggle and Angie and a wink for me, Dumbledore disapperates. I have a feeling he knew what I thought of his ridiculous hat…

'Ok Amy, love, let's see where we can talk,' Angie says, walking down the hall and knocking on John's study door. John opens the door. 'We need a place to speak with Amy. Which room would be best?' she inquires.

John steps aside. 'You can do it in here,' he says wearily.

'Everything there then?'

'This time, yes. But it was too close for my liking.' John sighs. I don't get any of this. It's like some inside joke. Only I'm guessing more serious.

'Why were they here, John? Do you know them?' I ask.

'Vaguely,' he answers. He looks at me and smiles slightly, his eyes still tight with worry. 'I'm glad you're alright.' He claps a hand down on my shoulder then moves to leave.

'Would they have hurt me? If they had the chance?'

Slowly, he turns and looks at me. 'Yes.'

'But why? What did they want?' I ask again.

'I'm not completely sure, to be honest. We have an idea though, don't worry.' He smiles tightly, nods at the other two and shuts the door behind him.

'Right so. Take a seat,' Angie says, gesturing to an armchair by the fire. I perch on the edge nervously. Angie and Diggle settle into the couch. It's like they've just invited me round for a cup of tea! 'So, this is nothing to worry about. We're just going to ask you about their appearances, their relationship, that sort of thing, ok? So, Amy, what did they look like?' she asks pleasantly.

I'm glad Angie isn't acting all formal anyway, like she doesn't know me. I've slept in her house enough times!

'The first one, Greyback, was tall, muscle-y, hadn't shaved in a while. He had brown hair that was tied back into a ponytail and yellow eyes.'

'What was he wearing?' Angie is obviously the appointed talker. Diggle is taking notes and every now and then looks through a folder.

'A dark green cloak,' I say boredly.

'Ok and the other man? Lucius Malfoy?'

'No one said his first name,' I trail off.

'Oh, but we know it.' Diggle speaks for the first time.

'You've had…trouble…with him before?' I ask curiously.

Diggle laughs dryly. 'Yes, trouble.'

Angie clears her throat and gives Diggle a look, then turns back to me. 'Go on,' she urges.

'He had long white hair, and pale blue eyes and- why am I telling you this if you already know him?' I ask, exasperated.

'Please, just continue.'

I sigh. 'He was wearing a black cloak.'

'Ok. And this Malfoy; was there a difference between him and Greyback?'

'I'm not sure what you mean,' I frown.

'Their personalities, their demeanour, that sort of thing,' Angie explains.

'Oh, ok. Um, yeah, they were sort of different.' I pause, staring into the fire, trying to put my thoughts into words. They wait patiently. 'Malfoy was tamer- if that makes sense. There was a sort of jumpy hurry about Greyback, where as Malfoy was laid back, pleasant, more subtle. But they were both sort of careless,' I say fairly.

'Careless? How so?' Angie asks eagerly.

'Well, I mean, they got caught by a four teen year old,' I say, rolling my eyes at the men's stupidity. The two laugh in agreement. 'And they were loud; calling down the hall to eachother as if they didn't even consider the possibility of someone hearing them.'

'They probably didn't,' Diggle mutters. He pulls two pages from his folder and hands them to Angie. Her eyes scan the pages quickly, and then she nods and passes them to me. 'Are these the men?'

I stare at the pages. The picture of a cold, stony faced blonde young man gazes out at me. Underneath the picture are a number of captions.

_Name: Lucius Malfoy_

_Age: 19_

_Status: Newly recruited_

_Crimes: Torture of Muggles, Theft of the ministry, three counts of kidnap._

I gasp. I put the page face down on the floor at my feet. I look at the second one. The man with the brown hair and stubble smirks out at me, his wild eyes darting around. Underneath there are also captions.

_Name: Fenrir Greyback_

_Age: 31_

_Breed: Werewolf_

_Status: Newly recruited_

_Crimes: Torture of Muggles, purposefully passing on the disease of lycanthropy, murder of three innocent people. _

The page flutters to the ground. My hands are shaking and my breathing is shallow and forced. These men, they're murderers and thieves and-

'Are these the two?'

I nod. 'Yes.'

'You see now why it is so serious. You could have been hurt-'

'But she wasn't,' Angie interrupts Diggle.

'They really did all this?' I gesture to the pages.

'And more. These are just the ministry's accounts. We at the order have even more information. More on them, more on other death eaters, other attacks-'

'They were death eaters?' I whisper.

'Yes. As you can see, they have only just joined You-Know-Who. That is why they were so careless, unprofessional. They are inexperienced.'

'What's the order?' I ask.

'The Order of the Phoenix is a secret organisation founded and run by Albus Dumbledore. We are made up of witches and wizards that fight against death eaters. It's our goal to stop You-Know-Who,' Angie says proudly.

'Isn't that what the ministry does?' I ask, confused.

'Well, yes, but we do a better a job.' She winks at me. 'The ministry is corrupted. There are spies in it,' she adds seriously.

I frown. 'Are- are you the order?'

'Yes, and so are your parents, your brother, your uncles, your grandparents- most of the Summers really. Maddie's parents, Tessie's parents, and the majority of other people at this funeral are also members.'

'And you fight for peace?' I check.

'Yep,' she says proudly in her Scottish accent.

'And my family are in it?' I continue.

'They are indeed- they do great work,' she grins.

'And you save people's lives?'

'We do our best,' she nods.

'How are your numbers?' I ask slyly.

'We have many members, all around the place. But of course we always want more,' she answers cluelessly.

'Then I want to join!' I say determinedly.

'Of course you do- WHAT?' she exclaims.

'I want to become a member. I want to help you fight Voldemort and put an end to this war that killed Matt-'

'I never said it killed Matt,' Angie says nervously.

'I know death eaters killed him! And you said he was in this order-'

'I did not- well, I did- but that's not the point- You can't join!' she says, flustered.

'Why not?' I demand.

'You are too young!'

'I've been out in the world before!'

'That doesn't matter. You-Know-Who didn't know you were- you weren't in any danger from him.'

'And I am now?' I demand.

'Of course not!' Diggle assures me hurriedly.

'I am, amn't I?' I ignore him and speak to Angie.

'Of course we'll be keeping an eye on you,' Angie hedges.

'If I was in the order, I'd be easier to watch-'

'NO! Children are not allowed to join the Order of the Phoenix,' she says finally.

'I'm not a child. And if you weren't going to let me join, you shouldn't have told me about it,' I say coldly. I get up and leave the room, slamming the door behind me.

'Obviously they shouldn't have told you about it, seeing as you're acting like a spoiled child.'

My head snaps up and I meet my father's eyes.

'You were listening?'

'You were shouting,' he shrugs.

'You were lurking outside the door,' I counter.

'I don't lurk,' he says indignantly.

'Uh-huh. What do you think, dad? You think I should join, don't you?' I ask, trying not to sound whiny or desperate.

'I think you would be a wonderful asset to the order. You're loyal and brave, and an excellent dueller,' my face lights up and I smile hugely. 'Those things make you the ideal member- in a few years,' he says firmly.

'But dad-'

'No buts. That's the way it is. And you can't tell everyone about this. Just Maddie, Jelly and Tessie,' he says.

'Can I tell Lily?' I ask.

'The red haired girl? She's muggle born, isn't she?'

'Yes, but she's brilliant at everything! A complete genius! And she's utterly loyal and trust-worthy,' I promise him.

'I don't see the harm, if you trust her. But not another soul,' he warns.

'I swear,' I say, crossing my heart.

'Ok. Good girl. You did very well today, darling. Not just with those two eijets, but earlier aswell. You were a great friend to Tessie today,' he says, putting an arm around my shoulder.

I smile. 'Thanks dad.'

'We'd better get back to the others. I hope they haven't missed us too much. And you probably shouldn't tell the girls until later on. Preferably on the train back to school next week,' he adds thoughtfully.

'Ok dad,' I agree, suddenly too tired to do much thinking. But then something occurs to me. 'Dad, when Angie was showing me the files of Malfoy and Greyback, it showed their ages. Malfoy is nineteen, and Greyback is thirty-one. But when I met them, it seemed like Malfoy was in charge…'

'And you find this strange because he's younger?' I nod. 'Well, Amy, werewolves rank under wizards. Age doesn't matter.'

**I really like this chapter, but I don't know if you will...I had fun writing it. Thanks to all who reviewed :) Please do it again! :) xxxx**


	23. Spring Clean A Little Early

'Come on girls! It's a new year! Time for new beginnings and new dreams and new hopes!'

That voice is so cheerful and pleasant and chirpy!

Make it stop! I have a strict rule; no happiness before noon!

'Please Aunt Margret, not yet!' Tessie begs from somewhere above me. Above me? That's strange…

'Now, Teresa, it's half past nine! The day is wasting! Get up, get a move on,' Margret urges. I hear a sound of metal running across more metal, and then bright white light burns my eyelids. Nagh! Ooh, wait, it's shining right on my bum. The heat is quite pleasant-

Oh, sorry, no pleasantness before noon! And it's only half nine! I've always kinda known Tessie was loopy, and in turn her family- she has to get it from somewhere, and come on, her mother does Pilates!- but this Aunt Margret needs to be reported to St. Mungo's!

Something sharp and pointy pokes me hard in the cheek, and I lash out at it. My knuckles connect with something solid and hard. I pull my hand back into my chest with a muffled 'Ow!' I open my eyes angrily and see the owl-like old woman leaning over me, her faces inches from mine. I shriek and jump backwards, my head smacking off something hard. This is when I realise…I'm on the floor.

And _now _I remember!

Today is the first of January, 1975! Last night, we had a small gathering to celebrate 1974. It was just us Summers, the Astons, Jelly's mum Angie, Tessie and Rebecca, and the boyfriends and their families. Yeah, I guess not so small. My boyfriend wasn't there, of course, because mine is a spineless git. Oh, you weren't aware? I am still very pissed off that Sirius Black dodged meeting my family. It has to happen sometime!

Anyway, back on topic. We put on some music, popped open the firewhiskey- of course, we didn't get any. And, for the night, Rebecca and Tessie let go of some of their troubles, which was nice. There were fireworks at midnight, and everyone was hugging and giving New Year wishes under the multi coloured sparks. May and Paul were dancing. Jelly and Shawn were holding hands and laughing. Tessie and Andrew were hugging. Maddie and Conor were snogging behind a tree- that was disgusting. And I- well, _I_ was listening to Maddie's gran go on about how all the sparks were going to result in bush fires.

Very romantic.

We didn't go to bed until half three. Well, we went to bed at half twelve, but we didn't sleep. It turns out you can get so hyper off pumpkin juice that it's just like being drunk! So, I guess I passed out on the floor, next to- let me see; black hair, tan, pale green eyes cast downwards, hoping to go unnoticed. Yep, Maddie. And Tessie is lying on the bed, which explains why her voice came from above me. And Jelly is on my bed, hugging a shoe to her face and sighing in her sleep. Lily is curled up in an armchair by the window, eyes wide and alert.

Satisfied with my surroundings, I look back up at Margret. I scowl grumpily, knowing full well that I'll never get back to sleep now that I'm up. Then I notice what's in her hand.

'Did you hit me with your walking stick?' I ask, appalled.

'I most certainly did not,' she says, looking offended and then turning away quickly. A little too quickly for my liking! 'Come on ladies,' she repeats.

I look down at Maddie, whose eyes are closed and is breathing deeply. 'I know you're awake,' I mutter in her ear as I lie back down. I may not sleep, but I'll be damned if I get up now!

'Fuck up,' she hisses out of the corner of her mouth. I stifle a laugh and snuggle under the quilt she's hiding in. She opens one eye and looks at me. 'If you try anything, I will scream,' she warns lowly.

'Scream for Conor, will ya?' I tease.

'You know who you'll be screaming for when I kick you out of my blankets,' she mutters.

And then the blanket is ripped off us. I sit up in surprise and stare at Margret. She is smiling serenely at Maddie and me.

'Now girls, I told you to get up. A lady is always up at sunrise. Unfortunately, you have missed the best part of the day this morning,' she says clearly.

'Well, if we've missed it, there's no point in getting up,' I say conversationally.

'Oh, there absolutely _is_ a point. I'm going to make sure you don't waste the rest of this fine day. Come on! We're going to start this New Year properly! We're going to grab it by the horns and say 'You're going to be good to me, New Year!' So, I'll be back in twenty minutes. Be. Up.' And with that she's gone.

'Does a New Year have horns?' I wonder.

Someone bursts out laughing and I realise that Jelly was never really asleep.

'Come on, she's serious. Get up. I'm showering first,' Tessie grumbles. She stumbles her sleepy way into the bathroom and closes the door. Then we hear the sound of water running.

'I'm showering in our room first,' Jelly says, stretching.

'Oh yeah?' Maddie asks slyly.

'Yeah,' she nods.

'Guess what?'

'What?'

'You're not if I get there before you!' Maddie shouts. She jumps up and sprints out the door. Jelly looks at me, astonished.

'GO!' I urge her, pointing to the door.

'OH!' She rushes clumsily out the door and I laugh. There's a bang and Jelly shouts, 'Why did you close the door when you knew I was coming?'

'Because I want to shower first!' Maddie's amused voice calls back.

I laugh again and stand carefully, wincing when my joints pop. Tessie pokes her head out the door. Her wet hair sticks to her cheeks.

'What's all the noise?' she asks curiously.

'Maddie,' I shrug as way of explanation. Sometimes, that's all the explanation needed.

'Great. I'm done,' she tells me, stepping into the room.

'Already?' I ask, surprised.

'I just needed to do my hair.'

'OK. I won't be long,' I promise. I slip past her and into the bathroom.

!

'Right, ladies, listen up. This is what needs to be done.' Margret paces in front of us, her heels clicking as they connect with the wooden floor of the foyer. 'You, Jeletha,' she points at Jelly with her cane. 'You can mop. You, Lillian, help her. You, Madison-'

'Madeline,' Maddie corrects irritably.

'Right. You wash the windows. I want to see them gleaming. You, cheeky blonde,' she stops in front of me. 'You have height. I want you to polish the house. Every corner, nook and cranny must be dustless,' she commands.

'Yes ma'am,' I say. And then, with a 'what the hell' thought, I salute to her.

'I don't care how you do it, but do it you shall. If you enjoy yourselves while doing it,' she pauses, probably realising the unlikelyness of that happening, 'well, more power to you. Tessie, your mother has shown you how to cook, hasn't she?'

'Yes,' Tessie says.

'Then you can help me with breakfast. Now, chop, chop!' she claps her hand and walks through our line, scattering us.

'Margret? Where is everyone?' I ask as I pick up the polish and cloth from the windowsill.

'In bed, where do you think?' she asks obviously. Then she tugs on Tessie's elbow and they disappear into the kitchen.

'That's not fair! They all get to sleep while we clean!' Maddie complains.

'Get used to it. When you're married you'll be cleaning up after Conor all the time,' I say dryly.

'And you won't be cleaning for Sirius?' she retorts.

'Nah, let the asshole clean himself,' I mutter, allowing some bitterness to seep into my voice.

'You're not still mad are you?'

'I know it's not that big a deal, and I'm not mad exactly, no, but Jelly, the bloke purposefully missed the funeral just so he wouldn't have to meet my parents,' I say.

'Well, Amy, he's only fifteen. He doesn't really need to be going to the funerals of people he didn't know just because you did,' Jelly says fairly.

'It's not that! I understand that he didn't know him, but neither did Conor or Shawn, did they? And they still came for you! But you know what; the thing that really gets me is how spineless he was. I mean, they knew you're parents were going to be there, and they still came.'

'I understand Amy. But, look, he's fifteen, he doesn't know how to handle things-'

'Maddie's fifteen. Tessie's fifteen. They know how to handle things,' I argue.

'Amy, Sirius Black is a boy. They're all clueless.'

!  
'Oh my God, look how clean the place is!' Marie gushes. 'The house elves themselves wouldn't have done a better job. Well done girls. Ye deserve a break. What do you say to breakfast in the dining room today?'

So, a few minutes later, everyone is seated around the massive mahogany table, eating and chatting.

'Pass the butter?' I ask Conor, who is next to me. He takes it from Maddie's elbow and gives it to me. 'Thanks.' He nods, his mouth full of sausage. I stare at him, fascinated, as he stuffs a piece of pudding into his mouth along with the other food. Feeling my gaze, he looks down at me and after a speculative second winks. I laugh. Conor takes a long gulp of apple juice and turns to me again with an empty gob.

'It's rude to stare,' he teases.

'No, it's ok to stare when something either completely gross or amazing is happening,' I inform him.

He laughs. 'And what was that, then?'

'Completely, utterly, amazing,' I assure him.

'Thought so. So, Amy, looking forward to school? First match of the new season is Gryffindor and Hufflepuff.'

'Yeah, but trials are on first,' I remind him.

'That's right. Are you going to try out for the team?' he asks.

'Errrrr….'

'You should. You're unreal!' Conor exclaims.

'What's this?' Paul sticks his big butt head into our conversation.

'I'm telling Amy she should try out for the Gryffindor house team,' Conor tells him.

'You mean you're not on it already? No wonder Gryffindor haven't been winning,' Paul grins.

'Shut up,' I mumble, embarrassed.

'Exactly what I was thinking! I mean, who put Pat Dean in as seeker? He's rubbish!' Conor says enthusiastically.

'Is his brother Thomas Dean?' Paul asks.

'I don't know…' Conor shrugs.

'Yeah, he is,' I answer.

'Ah, old Tommy was my potions partner in fourth year! He used to blow up every single thing we tried to make.' Paul chuckles fondly.

'Conor, do you want to go to the village later with Jelly?' Maddie asks. Conor turns his attention back to her, leaving me with nothing but my toast and Paul.

'He's cool,' Paul says nonchalantly.

'That's my first time having a conversation with him since I came back. We used to be friends,' I say more to myself than to Paul.

'Are you…You know…' Paul trails off with raised eyebrows.

'What?' I ask, clueless.

'Are you…interested?' he says.

'In Quidditch? Well, yes, of course but I just-'

'No, not in Quidditch, you nub! In _him,_' he says, nodding to Conor.

My mouth drops open and I shove some toast into my mouth to stop my mortified giggles.

'Well?'

I gulp orange juice and then wipe my mouth with a tissue. '_NO,' _I hiss. 'I am not.'

'Why? He's cool,' Paul says.

'He's Maddie's boyfriend,' I tell him lowly.

'Oh, so you're too loyal to go after him. I see. Well then, get ready to endure some emotional torture-'

'Paul!'

'But remember this when times get hard and you're wondering why you don't just get him alone and snog him senseless: I'm proud of your nobility.' He pats my shoulder and leans in to kiss my head.

'Paul! You're such a weirdo!' I complain.

'You know, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. So you don't have a boyfriend, that's ok-'

'Actually, FYI, I do have a boyfriend. So there,' I stick my tongue out at him and angrily tear off a piece of toast. I chomp on it furiously.

Oh yeah, I have a boyfriend. He's just a git. A stubborn, pushy, funny, cute, sweet git…

Aw man. I've got it BAD.

**There ya go! The inspiration for this chapter came from my own spring clean. My mother decided she didn't like looking at the xmas tree anymore, so she made dad and me take it down. Then she made me polish, she made dad hoover and she packed away the decorations. And all the while my brother played Call Of Duty:Black Ops on PS3. Very nice, eh?**

**Please review :) xxxx**


	24. Are we friends?

'Come on you Muppets, they're boarding!'

'I'm coming!' I snap. I hug mum once more and then dad, and then May, and then Rebecca and then Paul.

'See you in the summer, blondie,' he says, releasing me from his hold and giving me a playful push towards Jelly. She links my arm and we push our trolleys down the platform, picking up speed as we approach the brick wall that will either squash our noses back into our brains when we collide, or allow us to pass through to the magical platform 9 and three quarters.

Lucky for us, we come out the other side without getting stuck. Unlucky for Maddie and Tessie, who were standing on the other side, we stumble into them and send their trolleys flying. With a dramatic 'ugh!' the two go after their runaway luggage carts.

'I wonder where Shawn is,' Jelly says distractedly.

'You just saw him five days ago, Jelly! And hey, I've something big to tell ye, so no boys yet,' I say, pushing through the crowd to board the train, grabbing Maddie and Tessie by the arms as I pass them.

'How big is this something?' Jelly asks.

'Trust me,' I say, peeking in the window of a compartment. Perfect, it's empty. I usher them inside. 'It's big.'

!

'A secret club that's dedicated to stopping You-Know-Who? That's brilliant!' Tessie exclaims.

'Totally wicked,' Maddie agrees.

'I wish we could join!' Jelly says dreamily.

'Me too. I all but begged to join. No chance, they were all against it. Apparently _'children can't join the order of the phoenix,'_ I say, rolling my eyes. 'And it's not a club, Tessie. It's an_ organisation_,' I correct. She sticks her tongue out at me.

'So what can we do now?' Maddie asks.

'Well, right now, I guess we just have to focus on doing well in our OWL's. Having good grades will help our chance of being allowed to join young,' Jelly says practically.

'That is a good idea,' Maddie agrees reluctantly.

'I know. Right, we'll start our studying Monday. Maddie, you can help me with Potions, I'm useless. Amy, you can help Maddie with DADA, because your savage at it, and she's not. Tessie, I'm sure Lily will help you with your transfiguration. She's the best and you need the most help,' Jelly says, oblivious to the angry looks she's getting.

'Need the most help? Are you serious?' Tessie demands.

'Oh, I didn't mean it in a bad way. I mean, you're getting acceptable,' Jelly says hastily.

'Yeah, and what's wrong with that?' she says indignantly.

'Nothing, of course. I'm just saying that we need to be getting the best if we want to join the order,' Jelly says. 'Right Amy?' she turns to me expectantly.

'Err, uh-huh,' I mumble, not wanting to be dragged into the argument.

'See, she agrees with me. Oh, and Amy, I'll help you with herbology; I know it's your weak spot,' she says, smiling kindly.

'Mm.' Gee, thanks.

'It's scary to think that we'll be doing our OWL's in just a few months,' Maddie says distantly.

'Yeah, it seems like just yesterday Amy was trying to communicate with a Romanian nun,' Tessie laughs.

'Ah, she was one thick old woman,' I say, remembering.

'No, you were just communicating through your arse,' Jelly teases.

'Excuse me, my communication skills were perfect, thank you very much,' I say snootily.

'You would not give up! You made us stand there in the rain for ages while you tried to get through to her!' Maddie laughs.

'And it paid off in the end, didn't it?' I say.

'No, Jelly saw a sign that said 'Moldavian Monastery: stânga,' Tessie reminds me.

'Well, how was I supposed to know, I didn't speak Romanian,' I defend myself with a grin.

'You'd think you'd be able to put one and one together!' Jelly says, rolling her eyes.

'Whatever,' I retort.

'Romania was cool. But Russia was definitely the best,' Tessie says after a moment.

'I actually thought France was the best,' Jelly says.

'You didn't enjoy hanging out with Vladimir?' I tease, remembering how he had always freaked her out.

'Not particularly, no,' she says. 'But we all know how much _you_ enjoyed ole Vlad's company,' she teases back.

I settle into my seat and stay quiet, but a feel an embarrassed grin grace my face.

'Oh yes, if I remember correctly, ole Vlad had a soft spot for you,' Maddie picks up where Jelly left off with a smirk.

'Shut up,' I laugh.

'It's nothing to be embarrassed about,' Tessie grins. 'So you're into older men. That's ok.'

'You're getting awfully lippy, Mackenzie,' I say with a fake glare.

'You tend to bring out people's evil side,' Tessie shrugs.

'Yeah, well. Vlad wasn't that old,' I say.

'No, he was only eighteen,' Jelly says fairly.

'And, damn, but was he hot.' Maddie mimes fanning herself with her hand.

'You're lucky he liked you,' Tessie says enviously.

'He didn't _like_ like me. We just had to spend extra time together for training. Just like ye all did with you're Russian mentors,' I remind them.

'True. But we never spent quite as much time with our mentors,' Maddie counters.

'Viper was a slave-driver,' I murmur, using the nickname given to him because of his speed in duelling. We didn't go completely without education while we were gone. In Russia, Vladimir had arranged for some of the other aurors there to teach us duelling tricks and useful spells. They were mainly street-fighting jinxes and hexes, not ones ole Professor Flitwick would be likely to teach.

'What time is it?' I ask suddenly.

'Half twelve,' Tessie says after checking her watch.

'Crap! I was supposed to meet Sirius ten minutes ago!' I jump up from my seat and bound toward the door.

'Take it you got over your previous irritation, then?'

'Oh, it's still there all right. I've just decided it's not very important anymore,' I say, remembering the letter that came, along with the book, along with Hugo (Sirius' owl), the day after New Years. Just like he'd promised.

'I'll see you later,' I say, pulling the door out.

I make my way down the hall, hearing the chatter of many students from the compartments I pass. The book that Sirius had sent me- along with the short, but sweet, letter wishing me a happy new year- had explained the different colours of the 'person ring'. They described- or summed up would be a better word for it- a person's nature, or personality. Orange represents a fun person and a magnet for danger. Purple represents a secretive, mysterious person. Black represents 'love in danger'. And blue, the colour that now rings my right index finger, represents honesty and friendship. Kind of contradicting colours, aren't they? I mean, I'm secretive, but I'm honest? This is either a really wise, spiritual, 'find your mojo' ring, or a piece of crap. Hm…

'Hey, Summers!' I turn to see whose calling me from down the hall. Hm, toffee curls, caramel skin and chocolate eyes? Crazy height and well developed muscles? All girls that line the hall checking him out hopefully, and Rachel Ulhanda giving him a death-glare?

It's Matthew Jones.

But why is Rachel giving him a death-glare?

'Since when do you call me Summers?' I ask when he reaches me.

'It's your surname, isn't it?' he asks back neutrally.

'Yeah, but you don't usually call your friends by their last names,' I point out. Then I think back to our sudden lack of communication, just before the ball. I remember the way he'd treated me like just another girl on the last train ride. 'We are still friends, aren't we?' I ask.

'I don't know, are we?' he says, still not letting any emotion into his smooth voice.

'Well, you're still my friend. Even though you were a jerk to me last time I saw you,' I say matter-of-factly.

'Is that so?' Something flashes in his eyes.

'Yeah, you remember. You called me horny?' I prompt.

He looks away from me, to the floor, and then begins walking forward. He turns impatiently and gestures for me to follow.

'I didn't call _you_ that, I called the noise you were making that,' he says finally.

'Same difference,' I roll my eyes.

'Yeah, well, you're the one too wrapped up in her new Gryffindor friends to make time to talk to me,' he snaps.

'Hey! That's not true,' I automatically protest. 'I hang out with all my friends.'

'Really? I wasn't with you,' he points out.

'You could have been. If you hadn't been too busy with Ms. _I'm-a-prefect-and-I-talk-like-I've-got-a-mouth-full-of-spit_ Ulhanda,' I imitate her posh accent.

'What? When was I ever with her?' he asks, confused.

'That day I was looking for Tessie you were coming out of her room. And don't tell me you were organising 'head duties',' I make air quotations with me fingers, 'because you were _tousled_. From what I saw, anything ye were doing was happening _down-stairs,'_ I say with a smirk.

For a second I think I've gone too far, but then he laughs. 'I've missed you,' he admits.

'Aw. You're sweet,' I grin. 'So, what? Did you just have a sudden need for my charm?' I tease.

'That too. But really, I just wanted to say that I heard about Tessie's dad, and I'm sorry,' he says sincerely.

'Thanks,' I nod.

'Where are you headed anyway?'

'The last compartment,' I tell him.

He frowns. 'What ya going down there for?'

'I'm joining Sirius for a 'catch-up' chat,' I say, smiling at his nerdy choice of words.

'You guys are official?' he asks, a weird note in his voice.

'Yeah,' I nod.

'Oh. And what about us?'

My heart stops and I stumble. 'What do you mean?' I ask nervously.

'When do we have our _catch-up _chat?' He rolls his eyes at the cheesy wording.

'Oh,' my heart slows. 'How about tomorrow morning?' I suggest. Coming back on a Friday has its bonuses. I have the whole weekend off.

'It's a date,' he winks.

'Hope my boyfriend doesn't find out,' I laugh.

'Find out what?' the voice comes from the last compartment, a couple of steps away. Sirius is standing in the doorway.

'Nothing,' I say.

At the same time Matthew says, 'We're meeting up tomorrow,' in a cocky tone.

'Really?' Sirius arches an eyebrow. 'How lovely,' he says pleasantly.

'Yes,' Matthew narrows his eyes, seemingly unsatisfied with Sirius' calm response.

'Well, Amy, are you ready?' Sirius asks, still casual. He holds his hand out to me and I take it. He pulls me into his chest and squeezes me.

'Bye Matthew. See you tomorrow,' I say with a timid smile. It's no secret the two don't like eachother. I suppose they're sort of in contest with eachother for the hottest, coolest, most popular lad in Hogwarts.

He nods and smiles, but his eyes stay tight, presumably with the dislike of Sirius. 'See ya,' he says before turning and retreating down the hall.

'I don't like him,' Sirius says as soon as I close the door of the compartment.

'I know,' I say lightly, sitting down and kicking my shoes off. 'Sit,' I command, patting the space beside me. He obliges, but is still glaring at the door, as if Matthew is standing there. I rest my socked feet in his lap and close my eyes.

'Tired?' he asks.

'Mm,' I hum, as I open my eyes again to see him wrinkling his nose at my feet. 'They don't smell. I changed my socks on Tuesday,' I tell him. His head snaps up and his mouth turns down. 'Kidding,' I assure him.

'Phew! So, are you really meeting him tomorrow?' he asks.

'Yes. As friends,' I say firmly.

'Don't you think that's kind of cheating?' he whines.

'No, because we're just friends,' I repeat patiently.

'But I want to go into Hogsmeade tomorrow,' he complains.

'Go then,' I sigh.

'Not with out you,' he whines again.

'We can go after lunch,' I compromise.

'Fine,' he agrees. Then he leans in and kisses me.

**I started this like four disserent ways before settling on this. Hope ye like it :) Review Plz xxxxxx**


	25. Special and STUPID!

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Lily stalks her way down the aisle between the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw tables and throws her leg angrily over the bench, followed by the other one. She hunches her shoulders and fills a bowl with donuts. She tears off a piece angrily and chomps on it. I take another bite out of my apple and chew wearily. I take my time and swallow.

Then I say carefully, 'Having a bad morning?'

'Grr.'

Oooooook….

She just growled at me.

Awk-ward.

I carry on eating my apple and spot the Daily Prophet lying by Lily's elbow. Dare I chance taking it? She could snap at me- verbally or physically. I risk it and pull it gingerly toward me.

_Department of Mysteries worker missing. Aurors suspect Death Eaters. (Pg 7)_

I flick to page 7, laying my apple down and wiping my sticky fingers on a napkin. I begin to read.

_Aurors in charge of the investigation into Howard Longwood's disappearance, May Sherwood and Paul Summers say that this was 'not just a random disappearance.' _

'_We have been watching the people of this department for quite a while,' says Auror Summers. 'And have been keeping track of both known and unknown death eaters. We have come to the conclusion that this disappearance was planned and executed thoroughly.' _

I look up from the page, across the hall to the Hufflepuff table, where Aggie Longwood has her face in her hands, the newspaper clutched in one. My stomach twists.

I read the rest of the article, where Paul and May assure the reporter that they have leads, they are confident in the search; they will find him, blah blah blah. I know they've been told to say that. I can see it in the set of picture- Paul's mouth as he speaks.

'It's half ten. Aren't you supposed to be meeting Matthew soon?' Lily grumbles. I just nod, still frowning at the paper. 'What's that you're so absorbed in?' She peers over my shoulder, curious despite herself. Her eyes scan through the passage quickly, with the skill of an expert studier. She covers her mouth with her hand and looks at the Hufflepuff table, where people have began to gather around Aggie.

'That's so terrible,' Lily whispers.

'I know,' I say, swallowing.

'And to think I was upset because I don't like my sister's boyfriend,' she says, shaking her head.

'Is this the walrus man?' I inquire, steering the conversation to a mildly safer topic.

'Ugh, yes! Christmas was horrible Amy!' she says despairingly.

'Weren't his parents nice?' I ask.

'Amy, the cat was the nicest thing in the family, and he kept scratching me!'

'What was his name?'

'Missy Whisky,' she dead-pans.

'Oh God,' I giggle.

'You're telling me. You'd want to be making your way to the lake now. Have you seen Jelly anywhere?' she adds as I stand.

'She's probably still in bed. I'll see you in Hogsmeade later,' I say.

'Oh, you're going?'

'Yeah, Sirius wants to, so,' I shrug.

'You're the last person I'd expect to be in a controlling relationship,' she muses.

'Shut up!' I shove her shoulder.

'Or what?' she teases.

'Shane,' I call down the table. McLaggen looks up. 'Lily wants to know if-' she pushes me toward the door violently. I laugh at her face as he rises and strolls down the aisle toward her. It's nearly as red as her hair!

I head out to the lake, zipping up my cardigan. I guess I should have brought my cloak after all. But the sun is shining down, making the water of the lake sparkle. How something so pretty could be home to a giant squid, I just don't know…

I see a boy with light coloured curls and tanned skin sitting by the edge, legs crossed and head bent. He too is wearing only a Ravenclaw sweater and jeans. He looks like the guy I'm looking for. I cut in front of a group of girls while changing course. They squeal stupidly and crash into eachother.

'Sorry!' I call over my shoulder.

'You should be, Summers,' Sarah Vane shouts back. Oh how I loathe her.

'Yeah, watch where you're going!' Oh, wait, I almost forgot- I loathe you more, Hazel Jerks! I am going to be the bigger man and- oops, too late, I've already given them the finger.

'Already making enemies this early in the morning?' Matthew asks vaguely as I sit beside him.

'I said sorry!' I defend myself.

'Yes, and then you gave them the finger,' he reminds me, turning the page of his book.

'You're just blaming me because they're Ravenclaws,' I accuse.

'No, I'm not blaming anyone. Just…be a little friendlier,' he advises.

'That bitch would hate me even if I did all her homework for the rest of the year. She's mad because she thinks I stole Sirius off her- or so Maddie heard. I mean, please, they weren't together,' I say, waiting for him to agree.

'I doubt you'd be able to do her homework. She's a NEWT student,' is all he says.

'Bet I could,' I mutter stubbornly. 'And hey, aren't we supposed to be catching up? Stop chastising me while you read you're book- it's rude,' I scold, grabbing the book and shutting it firmly. He looks up at me, exasperated. His reading glasses perch on his nose. 'And take off the glasses,' I sigh, reaching out and sliding them off his face. The back of my hand brushes his cheek and he breathes out slowly. 'There, better,' I say happily. He blinks his big deer- like brown eyes.

'What is this anyway?' I glance down at the cover. 'Oh. And here I was thinking it was going to be something mildly interesting.' I chuck the Herbology book down on the grass beside me.

'It's only uninteresting to some people,' he sighs.

'Yeah, _normal_ people,' I laugh.

'Ok, whenever you're done making fun of me,' he says, but a smile is tugging up the corners of his lips.

'Ok, fine. How was your Christmas?' I ask.

'Fine,' he nods, looking out onto the lake.

'What did Santa bring you?' I grin.

'The new Star-toucher,' he says, wriggling his eyebrows.

'Whoa,' I breathe. 'Savage.'

'Yeah, it flies like a dream,' he says dreamily.

'Well, even if every person on the team had one, they still wouldn't beat Gryffindor,' I say decidedly.

'When did you get like this?'

'What?' I ask in surprise.

'When did you get so…Gryffindor-y?' he asks seriously, frowning.

'It's my house,' I say, confused.

'Yeah, for like, three months. You should have at least a shred of loyalty to your old home left,' he tells the lake.

'You don't think I should make the most of what I've got, where I am _now_?' I say it quietly, softly.

'I don't think you should forget where you came from,' he answers just as tenderly.

I feel a prick of irritation. Why did he have to ruin it all? I was excited to come here and talk to him, catch up, but now he's just ruined the atmosphere. I rest my chin on my knees and stare out at the lake, its dark water looming below us.

'Why are you scowling like that?'

'Because you ruined our conversation,' I answer, trying not to sound like a little child.

'Sorry,' he says. I don't answer, just breathe out heavily. I watch a bird fly over the water. Something flutters under the surface and then, quick as a flash, the bird has disappeared.

I feel something warm and heavy around my shoulders and realise it's Matthew's arm. I look at him.

'I didn't mean to make it sound like I thought you were a traitor. It's just…it's weird not having you around; in the common room after dinner, to see the other three and wait for you to come down the stairs and wink in that way you do. I keep waiting to see you on a Saturday morning in your pyjamas, coming down the stairs to tell the first years to be quiet. And when you don't, I remember that you're probably doing all that stuff in another common room, with other people.

I guess when you first got sorted into Gryffindor, I thought it'd be okay because you'd still be around all the time with Maddie, Jelly and Tessie, and I'd see you then. I forgot how likeable and funny you are. I forgot you'd have friends made by second class. And…I suppose I forgot I'd miss you.'

'Why would you miss me? We were never really that close,' I point out.

'That's why I thought I wouldn't miss you. Because you're two years behind me- just a baby really- and we'd only ever exchanged playful banter. But, I was wrong.' He shrugs, the arm around my shoulder moving with the gesture. He stares into my eyes until I look away, uncomfortable.

'What does your girlfriend think of our quality time?' I wonder.

'What girlfriend?' he frowns.

'Ulhanda,' I say impatiently.

'Oh, she's not my girlfriend,' he scoffs.

'But you were-'

He looks at me like I'm slow. 'People hook up Amy. Happens all the time, especially in this school. Although I was pretty embarrassed that it was you that caught us,' he admits.

I don't miss the phrasing of his sentence. 'That it was _me_ that caught you? What's so special about me?' I ask.

He rolls his eyes. 'What's special about you? What a stupid question.'

'Don't call me stupid,' I snap.

'Sorry. I wasn't really calling _you_ stupid, just you're question. But I suppose even stupid questions deserve answers. I think you're special because you're smart and pretty at the same time. Because you're unreal at Quidditch, but also a lady. Because you're-'

'Ok, enough,' I interrupt. 'You didn't answer my real question,' I say in my no-nonsense voice. He hesitates.

'I thought if you saw how different other boys were from Black, you wouldn't go out with him,' he says quietly.

I don't know what to say. I watch the water again, for a long time. 'But you weren't so different, were you? You used Rachel, just like other boys use girls. Sirius hasn't used me at all. Or any other girl,' I defend.

'Hazel.'

'It takes two to tango Matthew. She liked 'hooking up', as you say. It was her that kept it going. Her that started it. And Sirius was only a fourth year. She was a sixth year. It was practically cradle-snatching,' I say, hearing the jealousy seep into my voice. It's irrational to be jealous though. It's not my business what he did when I was off communicating to Romanian nuns.

'I'm not going to fall out with you over it. We're friends, and no one's going to ruin it,' he says determinedly.

Ignoring the no- _one_- he can't be any more obvious- I stand and offer him my hand. He takes it and I try to pull him up. But I guess I'm not as strong as I thought I was.

'Are you going into Hogsmeade?' he asks.

'Yeah. It's half twelve now, so I have to go. It was…,' Nice? I don't know if that's word.

'Yeah, me too,' he nods awkwardly. 'Bye I guess.' He hesitates and then hugs me quickly.

As I walk down the lane toward the village, I hope that the awkwardness between us will fade. We just have to get used to each other again. Right?

!

'Over here!'

I grin as I see the black haired figure waving to me from the corner of the Three Broomsticks. I weave through the crowd of people and sit beside him in a chair.

'I ordered you a butterbeer,' he tells me as I take off my gloves.

'Thanks. How long have you been here?'

'A couple of minutes. I was with James before, but he buggered off with Vane,' he says.

'She's such a ho, he should dump her,' I say forcefully.

'For who? Evans?' he raises his eyebrows.

'She would've said yes,' I say confidently.

'No she wouldn't have,' he scoffs.

'Yes! Before he went off and got it on with that bitch, I had her worn down. She was going to say yes any day. But of course, then _you_ encouraged him to ask Vane the Pain and everything was ruined,' I sigh tragically.

'Well, I think their romance will be short lived. James is getting sick of her. He doesn't think his tonsils can take much more hockey. What do you think?' Sirius says, raising his eyebrows suggestively. He leans in and I smile, leaning in to meet him. But just as our lips touch, there's a loud clang and we spring apart.

Rosmerta, the young barmaid, has delivered our drinks with a sickly sweet smile. 'Anything else?' she asks, batting her eyelashes at Sirius.

'No thank you,' he says politely, slinging an arm around the back of my seat. Her smile turns upside down and she turns on her heel. Her butt flicks from side to side in what I imagine she thinks is an attractive way. I think it's twitchy. Like a spider.

'So, how was your morning?' he asks cheerfully.

I swallow my drink and shrug. 'Fine.'

'Just fine? Wasn't Jones any fun?'

'Don't be an asshole,' I plead.

'Asshole is my middle name, or so my mother thinks,' he says lightly. I allow a small smile. 'Did he say something to you?' he asks seriously.

'No, we had a very physical morning,' I roll my eyes. 'Yes he said something to me.'

'You know, some call what you have sarcasm, but I call it charm,' he says, twirling my hair around his finger. I give him a winning smile. We sit in silence for a moment, looking at eachother. I get to appreciate what a lovely charcoal grey his eyes are. And of course, as it does so often, my mouth decides that it's going to turn traitor against me.

'What do you think makes me special?'

He blinks. 'Special?'

'Special? No. I didn't say that. I said…what do you think really smells good,' I say quickly, tripping over my words. I hate hormones; I hate hormones, I HATE HORMONES!

'Oh, err,' he looks at me funny- well, duh, of course! I just asked him the most embarrassing thing ever, and then covered up for it with an equally embarrassing question! 'Vanilla?'

'Oh,' I say with a nod that's supposed to look like I'm interested.

'Yours?' he asks politely.

'Oh, y'know…sea air,' I shrug.

'Oh, cool.'

Aaaaaagh….why did I have to blab? Yes brain, his eyes are hypnotising, but that's no reason to lose the run of yourself! He's still looking at me strangely. Quick do something to distract him!

I lean in and capture his lips with mine. He responds, as I expected he would. No matter what weird question I ask, he is a boy and I am a girl and I want to snog him. That equals to; weird question forgotten.

!

'And Avery's face was bright blue!'

I clutch my sides with laughter and have to stop walking. Sirius isn't any better, leaning against the wall and wiping his eyes.

'But where did you get those colour dung bombs?' I ask when I can breathe.

'Frank Longbottom's brother sent them over from Bulgaria. Frank gave us a couple. He said he thought we might be interested in them. He is officially my favourite sixth year!' Sirius declares to the empty hallway that leads to the portrait of the fat lady.

'Oh my God,' I gasp through my more controlled giggles.

We start walking again until we reach the portrait. Ugh, the stupid woman is asleep! It's only five-ish, she shouldn't be asleep yet! We shouldn't even be back yet, but Sirius wanted to be home before dark. I know, strange… he's a marauder!

'Hippogriff-'

'Shh,' Sirius puts a finger to my lips before I finish the password. 'Wait.' He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me to him, so are bodies are pressed against eachother. My heart quickens and I pray he can't hear it. He leans down and kisses my cheek gently. Then he whispers in my ear,

'You're special because you're kind. You're special because you're free. You're special because you're strong and loyal and brave. You're one of the only people who I have let see the real me, and you didn't run away- which means you're pretty damn special. You're special, even if you don't think so.'

He kisses me softly once on the lips, then pulls back and looks at me.

…

'HIPPOGRIFF PRIDE!'

The fat lady's eyes shoot open and the portrait opens in her brief moment of surprise. I race inside, ignoring Sirius calling my name. I shoot up the stairs to the girl dormitories and slam the door after me. Lily looks up. I sink down to the foot of the door. And then I cry.

Lily rushes over. 'Honey, what's wrong?' she wipes at my tears, but they keep going.

'I just ran away from a boy who thinks I'm brilliantly special,' I tell her.

'_Why_?'

'Because I PANICED!' I blubber.

'Oh, gosh,' she says.

'I know,' I sniff.

'What exactly did he say?'

I recite his words. 'Oh, how romantic,' Lily sighs.

'So much for strength, eh?' I smile weakly, blowing my nose on a tissue lily supplied.

'You need to go down and reassure him, Amy,' Lily says sternly.

'What do you mean reassure him?'

'The bloke just told you how special he thinks you are and you ran away.'

'I don't know why I'm crying,' I mumble, fixing my hair.

'Because you're due you're period and you're emotionally unstable,' lily says kindly.

I laugh. 'Yeah, maybe.'

'So, go on. Be on your way little duckling,' she sings, helping me up and opening the door for me.

'Thanks Lily,' I say sincerely.

'No problem.'

Sirius isn't in the common room or dormitories. I look out the window of the common room at the grounds. The wind is blowing wildly. It makes the hair of the three figures by the willow whip around them. The moon is just rising, a bright, full moon.

Wait, two tall black haired boys and a plump blonde? What are they _doing?_

I race to the portrait hole and climb out of it. I sprint down all the stairs, my breathing coming in pants. I hide behind a corner near the entrance doors. Filch is there! I wonder…

I pull on the latch of a window just above my head. It opens! With another glance over my shoulder, I hoist myself up and sit on the window ledge. Dangling my legs out the window, I try to measure how far from the ground I am. This part of the castle is on a little hill, so I probably won't be able to get my balance once I drop from the ledge.

Shutting my eyes, I wonder why the hell I'm doing this. The hill is steep enough. I should go back in and go to Lily and tell her I couldn't find Sirius. Then I should steal some chocolate from Remus and-

Remus! I'll just go to him! He wasn't there with them! He has a bit of sense. I'll get him to help me. I turn my body and get ready to swing my legs back over the ledge. But my eyes meet a pair of wide, yellow ones. They blink slowly and then-

'_Meow'_

Shit!

'What is it, Mrs Norris?'

Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit! That's it! I drop from the window just as his footsteps come closer. I feel the impact sting my feet and then I lose my balance. I go tumbling down the hill. My arm gets caught in a thorn bush halfway down. Pain shoots through my arm and I feel hot liquid spill down from my bicep, where the sharp bastards tore the skin.

When my graceful decent finally ends, I lie on my back for a minute, steadying my breathing and trying not to look at my bloody arm. I hate blood. Even my own!

'Bastard cat,' I mutter as I sit up slowly. I look around me. The willow is just a few metres away. But the boys aren't there. I get to my feet, ignoring the dizziness that washes over me.

I cup my mouth with my hands and start to call, 'SIRI-'

'AMY!' James emerges from the roots of the tree. His face is scratched and his proud, handsome face is twisted in horror.

'Go back to the castle! NOW!' he shouts. He starts to come toward me when a huge shadow falls over him. He turns and faces the thing I can't see properly. My heart is beating so fast. I should run now. I should put all the years of Quidditch training into use and sprint up the hill to the castle and get help. But I can just stand stare as James' body morphs into a big stag and faces the werewolf.

**A lovely long one :) Did ye like it? Was it shocking? TELL ME! **

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	26. Fluffy

I'm sure lots of things should be going through my mind right now, e.g.: _Aah, werewolf, run! _Or, _Aah horse with pointy thingies, run! _Or even, _how did James turn into a horse with pointy thingies and where did that werewolf come from?_ But all I can think is; it's starting to rain, and it's going to be down for the night.

The werewolf's eyes lock onto me and I freeze. It sniffs the air and then sinks to a crouch, coming toward me. Not good. The stag steps in front of it, and then pauses. It's as if he's waiting to see will the thing back off. The werewolf stares at James-stag and then snarls. It lashes out at it with its claw-or paw, since its part wolf? But with the nails on his paw, it's definitely more of a claw. It really needs to trim those and-

Stop it, Amy! Get a grip! It's knocked the stag back a few feet and comes toward me again. And I'm thinking about recommending it to a specialist?

The stag surges forward again and rams its big head into the werewolf's chest. It pushes with all its might, feet slipping on the ground. It succeeds in pushing the werewolf back a couple feet. The werewolf is only small compared to the ones I've seen in pictures. It mustn't be full-grown. A child?

The werewolf lashes out again and this time it's a much harder blow. The stag catches it in its right shoulder and is thrown backwards in a high arc. It lands just beside me, close enough so I could reach out, and with a bit of stretching, touch it. Then the stag is gone and James is lying, shirt ripped, unconscious on the ground. Without glasses, his face looks paler.

A howl rips through the air and the werewolf starts to advance on me. I register that it's a sandy colour and the fur around its muzzle look very soft. You know what? I think I'll call it fluffy!

Fluffy advances on me and I back up automatically. Oh, Fluffy looks angry. No, Fluffy looks _hungry._ Please don't eat me Fluffy! My feet get caught in the long roots of the willow and I go down onto my backside, hard. Fluffy stands right over me. He ducks his head and then he brings his nose right to my face. He takes a few deep whiffs, and I feel fear pulse through me. My hands shake as his breath blows my hair. Even if he isn't full grown, he's much bigger me.

His nose is wet, and his fur tickles my cheek. If it weren't for the size, and the mad eyes, and the…_smell_, I could pretend this is Cailin. Cailin used to always sniff me like this. But she never scared me so much. Maybe I should call out for help?

Fluffy raises it claw and then, so quick I couldn't possibly move out of the way, his paw slashes across my face. At first I feel nothing, and think that maybe having a cat wouldn't be so bad after all- I mean, cat's claws can't be worse than a werewolf's. And then the pain catches up with the blow. And, damn, but it hurts! It beats the thorns by a long shot.

I cry out in pain and recoil. Hot liquid run downs my cheek, continues down my neck and down the neck of my top. I'm almost too afraid to reach up and touch my cheek, but I do. My hand comes away cover in blood.

And then I know for sure that Fluffy is not like Cailin and he wants to eat me.

'HELP!' I scream. Well, I try to scream. But all that comes out is a breathless cough. I drag myself backwards, hand at my cheek, away from Fluffy. My other hand is behind me, sinking into the wet mud as I try to get a grip on something I can use to drag myself back faster. The pelting rain seeps into my skin.

'Help!' I try again, as the thing keeps coming towards me.

'Oh God, _help!' _Finally I get around the lump in my throat and my panicked scream gets out. It echoes loudly around the grounds, and surely someone has to hear it. But no one is coming yet. 'Professor Dumbledore!' I shout again, slipping as I try to stand. 'Professor McGonagall!' I fling a branch at Fluffy in an attempt to delay him. 'SIRIUS!'

I throw another stick at Fluffy, but miss. Then I try kicking out at him. I'm sure tears are mixing in with the blood running down my face. This is it; I'm going to be eaten by a werewolf named Fluffy in the pouring rain.

Then I see lights coming on in the castle. They flick on, one at a time. Oh, god, please come! 'Help!' I shout again. I'm close to the bark of the tree now and I reach up and grab onto a low branch, hauling myself up as Fluffy strikes again. This blow catches my elbow. Not as sore as my face. But still sore.

When I ran from Sirius earlier, I never imagined I'd be trying to get away from a werewolf just a while later. But that's how my life goes, really, I guess. Unexpected, scary, and very painful. Although I never remember it being quite so smelly.

Lights start to come down the hill, little white, luminous dots, moving quickly down the steep drop. Fluffy throws his head back and howls loudly. While he's absorbed in the moment, I inch around the tree and hide behind the other side of the trunk. I bang my head against the bark. God damnit. Damn it all!

Fluffy stops howling and I hear his loud sniffing. He's looking for me through scent, I realise. I hold my breath and try to be quiet. Fluffy's snuffling becomes louder, closer, and I feel the heat of his breath as he circles the tree. And then he's in front of me and I am screwed.

I resort to my last option. I push myself away from the bark with my hands, scratching them against the rough wood, in the hope of building some momentum. I throw myself forward and then start to run, as fast as I can, toward the hill where the lights are.

As I'm sure you expected, I don't get very far. His claws rip across my back and catch in my t-shirt. The soaked fabric rips and I fall into the mud. I lie on the ground, the mud caking my skin. No more energy. Didn't his mother ever tell him not to play with his food? But I am not going to be his food. I'm not. But it's sort of difficult to prevent that when I can't move.

And then, a magnificent ball of red comes flying towards me and knocks Fluffy off my back. I lift my head and see Albus Dumbledore and all the other professors running towards me. They cast a binding spell on Fluffy and then lift me onto a stretcher.

The enchanted stretcher floats up the hill and the professors all crowd around it, their wand tips lit in the darkness. I see all the students hanging out the windows, trying to get a good look at the girl on the stretcher. How embarrassing. I must look so pathetic.

'Let me walk,' I plead to Professor Grubbly Planks.

'Absolutely not Ms Summers,' she says, her wand still pointed at the stretcher. I bet she's doing this to me because I got Troll in her last Herbology test. She is one evil, compassionless bitch.

'Horas see to it that all the students are back in bed. Minerva, please accompany Ms. Summers and Mr. Potter to the hospital wing. I must deal with Mr. Lupin.' Dumbledore's voice sounds far away, even though he's just in front of me. What's wrong with Remus? Remus never does bad things, why would he be in trouble?

Well, at least I can find comfort in the fact that James has to be carried back to the castle on a stretcher too. But he, the lucky bastard, is unconscious. I am not.

We break away from the other Professors when we enter the castle. Students start rushing down the stairs, all shouting and panicked.

'Back to your beds now children!' Slughorn appeals to the kids. 'Everything is fine-'

'Go back to your dormitories IMMIEDATELY. Or house points will be deducted,' McGonagall shouts menacingly. Then she hurries the stretchers down a hallway leading away from the entrance hall, to the infirmary. Madam Pomfrey meets us at the end of the passage. Her and McGonagall talk in hushed voices for a moment. In McGonagall's moment of distraction James' stretcher crashes into mine. I cry out as my back gets jostled.

'The poor dear, get her inside,' Madam Pomfrey says. She guides the stretchers in the doors of the hospital wing and uses magic to lift us onto beds. I gasp again as my back, torn open and bloody, hits the mattress.

'Take this. It'll help with the pain,' Madam Pomfrey says, shoving something to my lips.

'No, I want to speak with Dumbledore,' I protest. Now that I'm in a safe environment and I can think, I want answers! What the _hell_ was a werewolf doing on the grounds? Where is Sirius? Is James ok?

'Once you've been tended to, of course,' she says kindly, pushing the vial to my lips again. I push her hand away and the contents spill onto the bed sheets.

'I don't want to take that!' I say angrily.

'Minerva, pass me that green vial, will you? Thank you.' Then she forces my mouth open and pours something down my throat.

And then everything is black.

_Third person POV_

The three boys crowd around the foot of the bed where James Potter lays, arm in a sling and eyes tired, barely open. He wants nothing more than to sleep right now. Well, maybe he'd sacrifice sleep for the new star-toucher broom. Or for Ms. Sarah Vane to get off his back and leave him alone. For a Ravenclaw, he thinks, she's awfully oblivious to the signs. She probably thought it was an accident when he bit her earlier today in Hogsmeade. But really, Mr. Prongs just needed to detach her hands from his hair, where they were pulling it manically, and give his tongue a rest.

'Can't believe you're going to tell her,' Peter says, eyes darting from the girl in the bed next to James, to Remus. Poor Remus Lupin is leaning on the railing of the bed, chin in his hand. He's too tired to even support his own head. And his hands hurt. He finds it's always his hands that suffer the most after his transformations. His nails are left bloody and torn, and his fingers stretched looking. He wonders when the potions Madam Pomfrey gave him will start working.

'Why wouldn't I, Wormtail?' he asks wearily.

'We don't know if she can be trusted.'

'She can be Peter; don't get your knickers in a twist.'

'Sirius, just because she's your girlfriend doesn't mean she's perfect,' the small blonde snaps at the handsome boy lounging in a chair pulled up between the two beds. The boys grey eyes widen a fraction. Wormtail never snaps at the other boys. He just does what they do, because, really, what else can he do? It's not as if he could come up with any brilliant plans on his own. Not without Remus' help. And without James and Sirius, those brilliant plans would never be executed.

'Wormtail, I wasn't implying she was perfect. But she can be trusted and besides, don't you think she deserves the truth?' Sirius Black says coolly.

'It was her own fault,' Peter Pettigrew mutters darkly.

'Which part of it was her fault Peter?' James speaks for the first time.

'What?' Peter looks confused.

'I said which part is her fault? The part where she came down the hill looking for her boyfriend after she saw him through the window? Or the part where you knuckle heads let Moony out and left me to hold him off on my own?' Sirius' jaw tightens at James' words and Peter looks down at the floor. James didn't get mad, as a rule really, but when he did, it could be scary.

'James is right. It was you're faults. I mean, did ye not hear her shouting? Wonder where we were? But sure, a werewolf running around the grounds of a school isn't a big thing once Sirius is amused, is it?' Moony's voice was exasperated and, underneath the sarcasm, angry.

'Don't make it sound like I don't care! Amy is hurt- Madam Pomfrey said possible scarring- so don't make it sound like I don't care,' Sirius growls.

'Sirius, you don't think!' Moony snaps back. 'You just don't stop to think. I don't remember last night, but Prongs told me-what he remembers, which isn't much seeing as he was _unconscious_. You didn't hear Amy shout for help because_ you weren't there._ You and Peter were in Hogsmeade.' Remus Lupin lowers his finger, as if only noticing he'd raised it during his rant.

The girl in the bed stirs, and the boys hold their breath looking at her. Her eyelids flutter and then her breathing evens out again.

'Look at her face.' James' concern could be heard in his whisper. 'You really got your claws in, didn't you Moony?'

Remus hides his face in his hands and groans quietly, so as not to wake the girl he'd inflicted so much pain on. 'I feel so terrible.'

'You couldn't have stopped it Remus. You weren't in control,' Peter squeaks.

'It wasn't your fault.' James looks pointedly at Sirius.

'Something you want to say?' Sirius asks calmly.

'Do I even need to say it?' James sighs and runs his hand through his hair.

'No.' Padfoot's shoulders deflate; the arrogance and flippancy draining out of his face.

!

_Amy P__OV_

'Do I even need to say it?'

'No.'

There better be some very good looking faces to go with these voices that have woken me up, or I am going to very pissed off. Slowly, I peel my eyes open. I can't focus in on anything; everything is just a bright blur of colours. But I know that the sunlight is warm on my face, and that my face stings and my back feels prickly. And my elbow feels frozen. How the hell did I get in this state? Have I fell again? This school has so many stairs; it doesn't really help the gangly.

'Amy? You awake?' That voice sounds familiar.

'She seems kind of out of it.' That voice sounds familiar too.

'Why's her arm twitching like that?'

'She's moving it, Wormtail you retard.'

I touch the side of my face gingerly. I feel a rough scab covering my cheek. Gross.

'Shit,' I murmur. I have this thing with scabs. I have to pick them!

'She's ok; she cursing,' a voice says, relieved. That voice is very familiar.

'Sirius?' I squeeze my eyes shut and then open them. I blink rapidly and then my vision clears and I can see the three boys standing at the foot of my bed, and the fourth, James Potter, grinning at me from the bed next to me, arm in a sling and scratches on his temples.

'Right here, sweet thing,' Sirius moves to my side and hugs me carefully. I wince but hold onto him. There's something hesitant about his actions, unsure. 'I was really worried,' he whispers in my ear, and I shiver as his warm breath tickles my neck.

'Do you remember what happened?' Remus Lupin, standing at the foot of my bed, looks very tired and sick.

'Do you have the flu again, Remus?' I ask sympathetically.

'No,' he sighs and sits on the end of my bed. 'Do you remember anything of last night?' he asks again.

'Nooo- YES! Yes I do! Oh my God! There was a werewolf and a horse with pointy things- and the werewolf tried to eat me!' I say all this one breath and the words jumble together.

'Shh, breath, relax,' Sirius says. 'We're going to explain it all to you Amy. But you have to listen and promise to try to understand,'Sirius says seriously. I nod.

'Amy, I'm a werewolf,' Remus says calmly.

'Way to soften the blow,' James mutters.

Remus shoots him an irritated look and continues. 'James, Sirius and Peter are animagi,' he pauses, letting it sink in.

I look at Sirius for confirmation. He smiles and shrugs. 'Whoa. What form do you take?' I ask.

'A dog,' he answers, looking at me intensely.

I raise an eyebrow. 'Nice.'

He laughs and flicks my ear. 'Shut up.'

'Wait, you're an animagus?' I ask Peter, disbelievingly.

'I'll have you know I am-'

'We helped him,' James cuts across Peter's offended defence.

'I figured,' I nod.

'So, what do you think?' Remus asks hesitantly.

'You're a werewolf?' He nods. 'Are you Fluffy?'

'Am I _what?'_ he splutters.

'Oh, sorry. Fluffy is…kind of what I named the werewolf that was there last night,' I explain, embarrassed.

'There was a werewolf that was trying to eat you…and you named it Fluffy?' James asks disbelievingly. I nod and shrug. 'I like her, pads. I like her very much,' he grins.

'In that case…yes, I was…_Fluffy_,' Remus grimaces at the name.

'One thing,' I say. They all look at me. 'You didn't like…do it on purpose, did you? The whole I-want-to-eat-you thing.'

They all laugh. 'No,' Remus assures me with a smile. 'I didn't.'

'Oh, good, you're awake! How do you feel?' Madam Pomfrey bustles in, wheeling a trolley filled with different potions.

'Ok. My scratches sting,' I tell her, watching her as she rummages through the potions.

'That's good; it means the potions I've given you are working. Now, let me see your face; that's the area I'm most concerned about.' She tilts my face up and examines it. Then she smiles brightly. 'Brilliant. A scab has formed. You're face should be fine in a few days,' she tells me.

'And no permanent scarring?' Sirius checks.

'No, none at all,' she says kindly. 'You'll be back to your old pretty self in no time.' I roll my eyes. 'Now, you boys should go and get to breakfast. Ms Summers, you'll be staying in here for the rest of the day. Don't worry,' she says when she sees my protesting look, 'I'll feed you. And I've got some Quidditch magazines somewhere, I'm sure. So you can get ahead for the trials the boys have been telling me about,' she winks at James and Sirius, who wink back. I shoot them a glare. She laughs. 'Alright, out.' The boys go, Sirius hanging back. Madam Pomfrey allows him to say a longer goodbye, retreating into her office.

'I'm really sorry about what happened Amy. It was my entire fault,' he says distressingly.

'How?' I frown.

'Moony…isn't himself when he's in his wolf form. He doesn't know what he's doing; his instincts take over. That's why we're supposed to be with him and keep an eye on him. I left James alone with Remus because I wanted to go into Hogsmeade to get firewhiskey to take my mind off…things. If I'd stayed like I was supposed to, I could've helped James help you,' he sighs, avoiding eye contact.

'What did you need to take your mind off?' I ask.

He looks at me and smiles sarcastically. 'A girl ran away from me after I confessed how much I like her,' he says.

'Right,' I smile and look away. 'I saw you out the window. I was looking for you. I wanted to say sorry for…running away,' I say lamely.

'It's ok. Guess I kind of deluded myself into thinking you wanted me to tell you all that stuff,' he says.

'You didn't delude yourself. When I asked you about your favourite smell –or whatever ridiculous thing it was I asked you- I was covering for what I really said. I asked you what you thought made me special,' I admit.

He grins. 'I know you said that. I'm technically part dog; I have good hearing. Why did you ask me that though?' he wonders.

'Matthew might have…mentioned something like that,' I hedge.

'Hm,' he frowns. 'Ok. Well, I have to go. Madam Pomfrey is watching from her office window,' he smirks and waves at the figure hiding behind the blind. I laugh and try to force his hand down.

'Bye,' I sigh. 'Thanks for selling me out, by the way,' I add.

'When did I sell you out?'

'When you said I'd be trying out for the Quidditch team,' I remind him.

He grins hugely as he saunters off, walking backwards. 'But you will be. See ya Prongs,' he punches James' shoulder and then hurries out the door when James yelps in pain.

'Stupid son of a bitch,' he gasps, clutching his shoulder.

'Serves you right for trying to force me onto the Quidditch team,' I say to him, lying back and turning my head to look at him.

'Hey, do you think breaking my arm will discourage Vane?' he asks me hopefully.

'I don't think anything but a sign in lights could discourage that bitch. Or,' I add thoughtfully, 'Maybe a good slap.'

'That comment just got me imagining Lily and Sarah in a bitch fight over me,' he says dreamily.

I laugh. 'Never going to happen,' I tell him.

'We'll see. Lily will be here to visit you soon, and she'll have no choice but to notice me, lying here injured. And she'll have to feel sympathy. Especially when she hears I got injured in a battle against a vicious, rogue werewolf while I was trying to protect you. What do you think?' He quirks his eyebrows after his dramatic speech.

'I think Lily will probably slap you if you talk to her in that cheesy voice,' I smirk.

'Always so quick to criticise,' he says tragically.

'Hey I tried to help you,' I remind.

'Yeah, I know,' he admits. 'You think if I'd never asked out Vane, I'd be with Lily right now?' he asks thoughtfully.

'I don't know. Maybe. Lily really hates Vane and Jerks- so do I for that matter. And, let's be honest, asking out Vane; not one of your finer moments,' I say.

'Trust me, I'd rather be single and innocent than be with Vane and experienced,' he says wistfully.

'EW! James, please, I'm trying to recover here. Don't want to hear about your and Vane's 'experiments'.' I shudder.

'Well, I don't want to hear about yours and Sirius',' he counters.

'What- no one was talking about them,' I point out.

'Well….fine.'

'Fine.'

'Fine.'

'Fine.'

'Fi-'

'James?'

'Yes?'

'Don't say it again.'

'Fine.'

**I really like the end of this. I 3 James :) Thanks you so much for all the reviews! And the story alerts/favourites/author alerts! I love ye guys! xxxx**

**Please review again! :D xxx**


	27. Awkward muffin

_Amy POV_

'Jamesie-bear, are you ok?' The nasal-y voice comes to me before the doors are even flung open. I try to hold in a groan. I haven't opened my eyes, but I can already imagine the brown hair that's straightened every single morning and the orange make up. I honestly don't know how she does it on a Monday morning.

'Sarah,' James says weakly. 'I thought you'd have class,' he says, and even I can hear the disappointed tone his voice.

'And I thought you were going to be released today. Why are you still here?' she demands.

'Madam Pomfrey decided we should stay an extra day. I'll be back tomorrow.'

'We?'

'Amy and I,' James says, and I can just imagine him pointing at me.

'So it's true then, she is here. Everyone is talking about you two. What happened?' she asks enthusiastically.

'I got hurt in practise. So did Amy.'

'Practise doesn't start until after the trials, and she isn't on the team,' Vane says suspiciously.

'We were practising ourselves,' he lies smoothly.

'Oh.' I open one eye and see her wrinkling her nose and standing awkwardly at the side of his bed. 'Some people were saying you fought a vampire. But I guess not.' It's obvious she thinks fighting a vampire would be much more interesting.

'I would say 'sorry to disappoint', but how could _I_ ever not live up to someone's standards,' James smirks.

'You are so sexy when you're being a cocky prick,' Vane giggles. She leans down and kisses him noisily.

Oh my God, I'm going to throw up!

'Eh-hem. Sorry to interrupt, but do you mind…stopping?' I ask as politely as I can.

'Just because you never get any,' she says scathingly.

I snort. 'Ok,' I say easily.

'So you admit that Sirius never wants to do anything with you. It must be that awful accent turning him off-'

'Sarah,' James says warningly.

'He and Hazel used to do all sorts of stuff. Does it bother you knowing that every time he looks at her, he's probably re-living it all over again?'

'Shut up,' I growl.

'Sarah,' James says again, but angry now.

'Just asking a simple question. I don't know how I'd cope knowing that my boyfriend probably wants his ex more than he wants me,' she says nastily.

All I can do is avert my eyes and give her the finger, because she's hit home- Or one of them, at least. I do worry that Sirius thinks of her when I scold him for touching my butt. And I worry he compares me to her. I just never thought anyone'd actually put it into words.

'You can leave,' James says quietly. I look at him and see him staring at me. His eyes are angry and I know he's having a tough time controlling that anger.

'Honey, I don't think she can walk,' Vane sneers.

He turns his head to her slowly. 'I was talking to you.'

'What?'

'We're done. Go and don't come back.'

'But…why?'

'You're a bitch,' he says matter-of-factly.

'It's not like you didn't know that when you asked me out,' she says haughtily.

'Well, I didn't think I'd be stuck with you after- I MEAN, I didn't think-'

'Stuck with me? STUCK WITH ME? James Potter, you bastard!' Sarah's hand strikes his cheek with a loud sound.

'You're mental!' James exclaims. Even though a bright red-y purple, hand-shaped mark is on his face, he doesn't look like it hurt him.

'It's because of her, isn't it?' Vane shouts.

'Who?' James says, clueless.

'Evans! She's had those horrible green eyes on you from day one! I just never thought you'd succumb. Guess I was wrong about you after all!' she says dramatically, before turning and running to the door.

It is not natural for someone's butt to sway like that while they're running.

'Is my accent really that bad?' I wonder to myself out loud.

'Naw. It's not that bad,' James assures me, sighing tiredly and closing his eyes.

'You're not so smooth when it comes to break-ups, are you?' I laugh.

'She slapped me,' he says, sounding dazed.

'You told her you didn't want to be stuck with her,' I remind him dryly.

'It was true. I didn't think I'd end up being her boyfriend,' he mutters.

'I'm actually feeling kind of sympathetic towards you right now,' I say alertly.

'Why is that?'

'Because Lily looks angry.'

_Third person POV_

When Lily Evans reaches the hospital wing she pauses. She's been told that James Potter is in here. Apparently, he wrestled a vampire with nothing but a soup-ladle to help him and had broken his butt bones. But Lily Evans isn't sure if there are bones in your butt. Or if there's even such a thing as vampires? And she doesn't exactly want to see Potter. She's just succeeded in re-convincing herself he's a git and she doesn't need to see his stupid, lop-sided smile. But, when Professor McGonagall asks you to deliver homework to two sick patients, you have little choice.

The doors of the infirmary burst open and a small girl with brown hair runs out, face in her hands. She bangs into Lily, who falls against the wall.

'Vane?' This can't be the girl that called her a know-it-all just last week. What happened to the scrunched up nose and stupid head-flick? She looks up at Lily and sobs harder.

'You can have him!' she cries.

'Who?' Lily asks, stunned.

'_Potter,'_ she spits.

'Sarah, I don't-'

'Save it. I don't want your sympathy. And he doesn't want me. And this is what you wanted all along, isn't it?' she shouts.

The prefect winces at her harsh tone. 'I didn't want you and Potter to break up.' Lies.

'Really?' Sarah rolls her eyes. 'So you weren't bitching about me and Hazel to Hestia Jones and Marlene McKinnon? Or to that whore Summers?' she demands loudly.

'Don't talk about Amy like that,' Lily says angrily.

'The four of them think they can just waltz back into our school and control everything! They steal our guys and think they're better than everyone else!'

'No one stole James from you! And Amy didn't steal Sirius Black from anyone! You and Hazel Jerks drove them away yourselves! With your lying and your controlling and selfishness!' Lily steps closer to the girl, whose face goes from accusative to shocked, to hurt to anger in a second. 'And don't let me catch you talking about my friends again or Ravenclaw will find themselves with negative points and their students in detention,' she warns quietly.

'That would be abusing your prefect responsibilities,' Vane sneers.

'And who'll know?' Lily smiles sweetly. 'Now get out of this corridor and do something productive, why don't you? Your N.E.W.T's are coming up, are they not? If I were you, I'd be studying non-stop. I wouldn't be wasting a free class, no matter what my romantic circumstances.'

'You're not that far behind. Good luck with your OWL's,' she says in a withering voice. Then she simpers off, sniffing loudly and wiping at her ruined mascara.

'James Potter, once again you've succeeded in making trouble for me,' Lily mutters to herself before pushing open the hospital doors.

She marches down the aisle and stops at the foot of his bed.

'Please refrain from setting your girlfriends on me, Potter. I don't enjoy bitch confrontations, especially this early on a Monday morning,' she says stiffly.

'I didn't set her on you. If she jumped you, it must be because she's changed teams,' he shrugs.

'You're not funny,' she says coldly.

'You seem to be the only one that thinks that,' James points out.

'I don't see Amy laughing.' She inclines her head to where the blonde is studying a Quidditch leaflet. Lily is just about to add how much she appreciates that her friend is respecting her privacy when she notices that the leaflet is upside down and her deep blue eyes aren't moving.

_At least she's trying._

'Amy Summers thinks I'm very funny. Don't you, blondie?' he calls over to her. Her head snaps up and she offers a weak 'Hmm?'

'She's in stitches,' Lily mutters.

'Have you come to keep me company, Evans?' James asks, raising his eyebrows up and down suggestively. 'God knows I'm not in the best of health right now. But, it was worth it to save a damsel in distress,' he adds seriously.

'Excuse me?' Amy breaks from her fake trance and looks at him dangerously. He backtracks.

'To lend a hand, I mean.'

'Whenever you pull your head out of your arse,' Lily says impatiently. He looks back at her. 'I've brought you you're transfiguration homework.' She drops the books on his feet, causing him to grunt.

'Always so kind, Evans. Nice to know you do care,' he wheezes as Lily sets books on the lap of Amy Summers, much more gently than she did the other young teen.

'Why does she get special treatment?'

'Because I like her more than you,' Lily sniffs.

'But you do like me,' James says slyly.

'I never said that,' Lily says quickly.

'No need for words, sweet Lily. I can see it in your eyes,' James says in a breathy voice.

'I have to go Amy. McGonagall will be down my throat for staying this long. See you later,' Lily says, ignoring James.

'Before you go, Lily, and now that I'm a free man again-'

'No Potter.'

'Just listen to what I have to say,' James says, irritated.

'See, that would be a waste of time, Potter, because I can't speak Prick.' And with that, Lily Evans swept out the door gracefully, with a swish of her cloak and all.

_Amy POV_

By the end of Tuesday morning, I am feeling very fed up. James was kicked out earlier and sent off to his first lesson. While I enjoyed watching him plead with Madam Pomfrey and give her weak 'My bum hurts' I wish he was here now. It's so boring. Everyone is in class, so no visitors, and I've read all the Quidditch leaflets and magazines.

I heave a gusty sigh as I stare out the window. The grounds are empty, but the sun is shining and the grass isn't frozen anymore. January is nearly over, and then it will be spring. How I long for the end of the dark winter days.

Really, I shouldn't even still be here. I should be in Defence Against the Dark Arts, learning about redcaps. And I shouldn't have been here last night either. I should have been studying with Tessie, Maddie, Jelly and Lily. But _no._ Dumbledore doesn't want me to be released until all my cuts and bruises are healed. He doesn't want to arouse suspicion over Remus.

I understand that. And I don't really mind. I'm just so _BORED!_

A bell echoes through the hospital wing, all the beds empty except for me. It signals the end of the fourth class and start of lunch. I can hear the sound of stampeding students above and below me.

'Here you go, love,' Madam Pomfrey comes in with a tray laden with food.

I sniff appreciatively as she sets it on my lap. 'I've been here so long, I feel like we're best friends, you and me,' I joke, biting into a muffin.

'Oh yes. You make me feel youthful. And eat your healthy food first,' she adds disapprovingly.

I put the muffin down and pick up a chicken sandwich. 'Always ruin my fun,' I grumble before biting into it.

She goes back into her office, shutting the door behind her. I sigh again.

'What a long-suffering sigh.'

I look up towards the door hopefully. Please be someone interesting!

It's Matthew. I don't know if I'd call him interesting. I mean, he's head boy, hardly exciting. But he is a change from Madam Pomfrey, so thank you God.

'Hello,' I smile welcomingly. 'What are you doing here?'

He pulls up a chair and plops down in it. 'I came to visit the sick.'

'What a sweet boy,' I coo.

'How are you feeling?' he asks.

'Absolutely fine. I wish they'd let me go,' I complain.

'Back to Potions and herbology. I think I'd prefer to be here,' he says.

'It's so boring here,' I tell him.

'Really?'

'Yes.'

'Oh.'

Silence.

'Where's your boyfriend?' he asks casually.

I sigh and reach up to my hair. I gather it all up and tie it back into a high pony tail.

'Are you not going to answer?'

'I'm doing something,' I say, trying not to explode. Why does he always have to ruin our conversations?

'You're done now,' he points out.

'I assume Sirius is in the Great Hall, eating lunch,' I say. He snorts and then lies back in his chair, a smirk on his face. 'What?'

'It just seems that Mr. Black can't make time to visit his sick girlfriend,' he shrugs.

'He was here yesterday, and Sunday,' I tell him frostily.

'The days when James was here,' he states.

'Yes…' Huh. No! 'But you didn't come any day, so I don't know what you're talking about,' I accuse.

'I'm here now, aren't I?' he asks, rolling his eyes. Why is he acting so weird?

'Shouldn't you be in the Great Hall?' I ask.

'Wishing I didn't come?'

'No. I just don't get why you went out of you way to come here and then act like an asshole,' I say, staring down at my tray. Ah, screw it; I'm going to eat my muffin.

'I didn't mean to…' he says softly. 'I'm not trying to be mean. I'm just…trying to get some insight,' he mumbles distantly.

'Into what?'

'Your relationship with him.'

I hardly know what to say. 'Sirius doesn't act like that,' is all I can mumble.

'Then what does he act like?' he whispers, leaning forward in his chair and resting his elbows on the bed. The way he's staring into my eyes is strange. There's a light in them that I haven't noticed before. It's probably because his face has never been this close before.

'Stop it!' I snap.

'What?' he asks surprised.

'Is all you ever think about Sirius? Every time we're together, you bring it up! You ruin everything with the awkward questions. What are you gaining by doing this? Why do you even care? You're not my dad; you're not my brother, so you shouldn't care!' I finish angrily.

He looks at me for a moment before standing up.

'I never noticed before how young you really are. You don't see things that older people do. It doesn't matter how tall or pretty you are. You really are a child,' he says quietly, his eyes dangerous. Then he turns and walks slowly up the aisle. He stops at the door and looks back. 'I care. Figure out why.' Then he leaves.

Frustrated tears form in my eyes, but I refuse to cry. How dare he call me a child? I am fifteen in two weeks; I am most certainly not a child! And I see all sorts of things! And I'm not pretty, and I'm not tall and-

'Aaaaaagh!' I shout in frustration. I bang my fists on the tray and it clatters to the ground.

'Everything all right dear?' Madam Pomfrey pokes her head out the door of her office. 'Oh my, I'll clean that up.' She comes out and with her wand cleans up the mess of the fallen lunch.

'Anything I can do for you?' she asks.

I sniff and rub at my eyes, making sure no tears have escaped. Only one thing to do now.

'Can you get me some period pads and a new muffin?'

**I hope ye like this. I've had so much homework all week :( Never got a chance to write properly until yesterday. And my irish teacher gave out to me for talking in class. Then she made me read out my essay. But she said it was very good and i got an A! :) Yay! Yay! I got an A! (Rhyming is fun:)**

**xxxReview PLease!xxxxxxx**


	28. 15 years of Lily

**A/N: Hello. So all the dresses described in this chapter i have links for on my profile. Just follow the links! :) xxxx**

'So, James Potter is officially back on the market. What a brilliant birthday present would a candlelit dinner with him be for Lily?' Maddie asks dreamily on Friday afternoon. I was released yesterday, scratch-free, and am currently enjoying freedom with my friends after a long day of lessons.

'It'd be a pretty bad one since she pledged her undying hatred of him to us on Tuesday,' Jelly reminds us.

'She didn't mean that,' Maddie scoffs.

'She seemed pretty serious to me,' Tessie says.

'She didn't mean it,' Maddie repeats knowingly.

'Oh? And what makes you think that?' I join in.

'You can see it in her eyes. She doesn't _want _to like him, but she does,' Maddie says simply.

'Funny, James said something just like that, right before she implied that he was a prick,' I recall.

'Let's just have a vote!' Tessie says quickly before Maddie can retaliate. 'All in favour of the surprise party next Friday, say I.'

'I.'

'I.'

'And I. Sorry Mads, looks like you've been over ruled,' Tessie shrugs. 'Now, let's start planning. Amy you can handle the guest list because everyone knows you and likes you- well, nearly everyone,' she amends.

'But who cares about the Troll Troop anyway?' Jelly inserts as I start to scowl. I told them every detail of James' and Vane's break up. I even put on the voices. James' cockney accent and Vane's blocked nose voice. They took much pleasure in it. Maybe a little too much, but that's ok. Anything that makes Tessie laugh, right? It's only been three weeks since Matt's funeral, so she's still a little fragile. Maybe even more than a little, depending on how well she's acting.

'You two organise the food and decorating the common room. I'll get the present,' she says grandly.

'One question,' Jelly says.

'Yes?'

'How are _we_,' she gestures to Maddie and herself, 'going to decorate the _Gryffindor _common room? We're not Gryffindors.'

'Good point,' Tessie frowns. 'Amy could you-?

'I'll give you the password on the day. Just get the stuff ready. The common room will be empty so ye can decorate,' I tell them.

'Why will it be empty?' Maddie asks.

'Everyone will be out on the Quidditch Pitch, watching me make a fool of myself,' I mutter, imagining the scene.

* * *

'Hey, have you seen Matthew Jones anywhere?' I ask a girl passing me in the halls.

'No,' she snaps.

I catch another boy by the arm. 'Have you seen Matthew Gordon?' I ask Gordon, Matthew's friend.

'He's tutoring some fourth years I think,' he shrugs.

'Can you give him this?' I ask, handing him an invitation to Lily's party.

'Yeah, I guess.'

'Thanks-'

'But I don't think he'll go,' Gordon continues.

'Why not? He likes Lily,' I argue.

'Yes, but he's not feeling very hospitable towards you lately,' he says.

'He told you that?' I ask sceptically.

'Different words, same meaning,' he shrugs.

'Is he really mad at me?'

Gordon rolls his eyes and begins to walk away. 'I don't think he's mad,' he says over his shoulder. 'More fed up.'

What the hell does that mean? What's he fed up of? Me being with Sirius? Well, I have no time to think about it now.

'Lily Evans' party, Friday, eight o'clock, in the Gryffindor common room. Tell everyone else in your year,' I say to Emily Vance, a fifth year Hufflepuff.

'Can I tell the sixth years?' she asks hopefully.

'No,' I say firmly. 'We're only bringing people Lily knows.'

'But my boyfriend's a sixth year,' she says. 'I can't go without him,' she says, looking tearful. I have no time for tears, I am on a mission.

'Oh fine, bring him, but no one else,' I warn her. She squeals and hugs me.

'I knew you were nice. Monica Jewelsworth told me you were a cow, but I knew you were nice,' she says breathlessly and then skips off. I sigh at her enthusiasm and at the fact that the Troll Troop was spreading stuff about me- and undoubtedly my friends.

'Hufflepuffs are only good in small quantities,' a voice chuckles.

I turn and see Remus. 'Hello,' I smile.

'Want help? I know most people,' he offers.

'I wouldn't expect any less from a marauder,' I tease, handing him some invitations.

He sighs deeply. 'My title seems to be exceeding me these days.'

I study his pretty face. He's very delicate looking. 'What's up Remus?' I ask, as I hand an invite to a fifth year Ravenclaw.

'Things didn't work out Aoibhinn Collins,' he says.

'Why not?' I ask.

'All she ever did was talk about James and Sirius and all the great things we've done,' he tells me.

'Isn't that what being a Marauder is about? Being recognised, talented, the best- and the girls.'

He laughs half-heartedly. 'No, not really. Besides, I'm not as popular with the ladies as James and Sirius,' he adds.

'You're just as good as them, Remus,' I say softly.

'Aren't you supposed to think Sirius is God?' he laughs genuinely now.

'Where does it say that?' I joke.

'Even if it did say that, I doubt you'd obey it,' he says.

'What's wrong with being an independent, strong-minded woman?' I ask defensively.

He laughs and pats my shoulder. 'Nothing, nothing. I think that's what Sirius likes about you. Although, it's also what he hates,' he chuckles.

'Sirius talks about what he hates about me, does he?' I ask thoughtfully.

'Oh-no,' Remus says quickly.

'I wonder if I should do the same. Maybe I could make a list,' I muse.

'Don't tell Sirius I said anything, ok?' he pleads.

'What else does he hate?' I insist.

He rubs the back of his neck uncomfortably. 'Nothing,' he mutters.

'Tell me,' I say lowly.

'He might have mentioned something about stubbornness,' he admits.

'Keep going,' I say calmly.

'There's nothing else really. He might have said something like, 'We talk a lot. That's weird' but that's really it.'

'Thanks Remus,' I say stiffly, stepping into the flow of students making their way to the Great Hall for dinner. So he thinks I'm stubborn and I talk too much. He'd rather I be a spineless, brainless fan-girl. Well, I'd like to see how well he does without me, because I have a plan.

I sit beside Lily at the table. The Marauders enter shortly after me. The four of them make their way towards us, Remus looking very nervous indeed. They sit down, James next to Lily and Sirius next to me. He reaches for the mashed potatoes in front of me. I beat him to it and dig my spoon into it. I come out with it full of the creamy mush.

'Open up,' I coo. He frowns and opens his mouth to speak. I take my chance and shove the spoon of potatoes into his face. It forms a beard all around his chin and sticks to his nose.

'Amy!' he splutters. 'What are you doing?' he hisses lowly, as people start laughing.

'I'm sorry, Jelly bean,' I say. 'Let me help you.' I take a napkin and scrub mercilessly at his face.

'Ow! Stop,' he complains.

'You know what you need? A drink,' I say sweetly. I take my goblet of pumpkin juice and pour it down his throat.

'Amy,' Lily laughs awkwardly. 'Stop it.'

'Anything else I can get you, my little darling?' I ask hopefully.

'No,' he snaps. 'I'm going up to the dorms,' he tells the boys tightly.

'But you've hardly ate anything,' I object.

'I think I've had enough food- on my face!' he whispers furiously.

'I'll see you later baby!' I call as he and the other three boys leave. Remus looks back over his shoulder at me, his expression a mixture of incredulous and angry. I wave at him in a posh fashion, a wave I know from my great-aunt Matilda who is famous for her saying 'We're pure-blood, so we might as well indulge in pure vodka.' As you may have guessed, she says that mostly when she's drunk on pure vodka.

'Amy, would you like to tell me why you just went mental on Black?' Lily asks calmly.

I tell her the things Remus told me.

'What were you doing with Remus?' she frowns.

Handing out secret invitations to your surprise party. 'I just bumped into him,' I lie.

'Well, Amy, if I were you, I'd dump him,' Lily sniffs.

'That's because you hate the four of them,' I point out.

'No, no, that's not true,' Lily says. 'I hate Peter much less than the other three.'

'Why don't you like Remus?' I wonder.

'There's something funny about him. Something that just keeps me away from him,' she shrugs.

'Oh,' I mumble weakly.

'Well, yes, I'd dump him if I found out he was talking about me behind my back.'

'But it was to his mates,' I say fairly.

She looks at me mysteriously. 'For now.'

We eat pudding in silence. I stab my fork into my trifle and think about Lily's advice. Should I dump Sirius? He is immature, secretive, moody in the mornings and very cocky. But he's also sweet and charming and listens to me and thinks about me and he says he really likes me.

I stew over things on the way back to the common room too. As soon as I step foot through the portrait hole he's on me. He drags me by the elbow up the stairs of the boy's dormitories and them pushes me down onto his bed.

'What the _hell_ was that about?' he demands.

'Well, I heardfrom a little birdie that you didn't like when I was smart and had a good head on my shoulders, so _of course_, me being the brilliant girlfriend I am, I went and decided to act in a way that was more in your league. Aren't you going to say thank you?' I speak in a withering voice.

He groans. 'It was Peter that let it slip, wasn't it? I knew as soon as I told him I shouldn't have,' he says. I say nothing, just stare expectantly at him. 'I'm sorry; I didn't mean it in a bad way. I like that you're smart and independent- I'd die if you were high-maintenance. I swear,' he says.

'Hmm…'

'Don't believe me?' he asks.

'What are words without proof?'

'Cheeky,' he grins. Then he tackles me back onto the bed and snogs me insanely.

Yeah. So not breaking up with him.

* * *

I am so breaking up with him. I am so breaking up with him! I hate him! I hate him! I HATE HIM!

'Alright, seekers, mount your brooms!'

I swing my leg over the stupid stick.

'Ascend!'

I kick off from the ground.

'Hover!'

I do what the captain says. Everyone in the crowd laughs as Pat Dean falls off his broom. I can't believe he's making me do this.

'I said HOVER!' John Bell roars at the third years that are showing off and zooming upwards.

I glance at the stands. I see Lily sitting with Tessie. Lily gives me the thumbs up. Tessie winks at me. She has to keep Lily occupied while Maddie and Jelly decorate the common room. And I get stuck with the glorious job of being the distraction. Why couldn't I have just run around naked? Why do I have to try out for the house Quidditch team?

'Alright, give me three laps of the pitch, at a slow pace!'

I float higher up into the air and begin to follow the other wannabes around the stadium. A couple of fourth years get cocky and try to pass out the rest of us.

'Number 7 and 12, you're out! I said SLOWLY!' Bell roars.

They land and start pleading with Bell. Well, this isn't too bad. I haven't fallen at least. But I've forgotten how uncomfortable the broom can be.

'Ok, speed up!'

I lean forward more on my broom and it shoots forward. I pull back and it slows down a bit. But now I'm at the front. Oh great! I see Sirius and James down on the ground with the rest of the old team, grinning at me. I bet they think I'm trying to show off.

'Now, GATHER!' Bell appears in the air on his broom. We all circle around him. 'I'm going to release the snitch.'

'What do we do, sir?' a sixth year asks.

He looks at her like she's an idiot. She is.

'Catch it.'

We all disperse and I watch the sky for a zooming ball of gold. It's a clear day, really good flying weather. I wonder if it's good party weather. Or if there's such a thing as 'party weather'. I hope the dress Tessie got me is nice. She got dresses for all of us. I've seen the one she got Lily. It's gorgeous! It will really compliment her-

Flash of gold!

Snitch!

Should I go after it? No one else has seen it, hovering over by the lake. I could even just be imagining it. But it looks right…I fly towards it, slowly. As I come closer I see it definitely is the snitch. I should grab it. But do I want to be on the Quidditch team? I want to play Quidditch. But all that pressure to win…

What the hell?

I fly up slowly. It doesn't move. I stretch out my hand. I can feel the air it's stirring with it's rapidly beating wings. I close my hand around the-

Empty air.

It flies away, so fast. I follow it determinedly. It zigzags and somersaults out of my reach. I frown and speed up. Leaning forward on my broom I reach out again. This time my middle finger grazes its wing and it slows down. I take my chance and close my hand around it.

I hover on the broom and stare at the now-still snitch. I smile slightly.

'I've still got it,' I whisper, before plummeting downwards, towards the ground. I pull up out of the dive smoothly and dismount my broom. I hand the snitch to Bell.

He smiles, looking satisfied. 'Welcome to the team.' My insides soar.

!

'Are you done in the shower yet?' Maddie shouts into me.

'Yeah,' I say, coming out of the bathroom.

'I don't see why we're all getting done up,' Lily frowns.

'It's your birthday. Today we celebrate 15 years of Lily. We're going to make it special,' Tessie says again.

'Can't it be special in a ponytail?' she mutters.

'No. Now, let's give you your presents,' I say after casting a drying spell on my hair. I fetch them from underneath my bed. They're all nicely wrapped and tied with ribbons. I hand them to her. She smiles.

'You didn't have to-'

'You know you'd be pissed if we didn't. Just open them,' Maddie says excitedly.

She opens the smallest one first. Inside is a white picture frame with the words, _Best friends forever _painted on it in colour-changing ink. There's a picture of the five of us from the Christmas Ball, in our gowns, smiling and laughing.

'I love it,' Lily says softly. She hugs us all.

'There's more,' Tessie says. She hands her another one. Lily tears into it. She laughs. The chocolate cake has _happy birthday Lily! _Wrote on it in bertie botts beans. It's a little wonky. She opens another. It's a book of defensive and offensive spells. Lily says it'll be brilliant for OWL's.

'And the last one,' Tessie grins as she gives it to her. Lily opens it carefully. Inside is her dress. It's soft green satin, the colour of lily leaves. It has tiny spaghetti straps and is low, but doesn't show boob. It has a bow at the front of the waist and comes above the knee.

'It's gorgeous!' she squeals. She hugs us all. 'Thank you so much!'

'Put it on,' Jelly urges. Lily pulls off her jeans and jumper and slips the light material over head. It hugs her curves and comes a couple inches above her knee.

'Beautiful!' we all whisper together. She laughs.

'I wish I could wear it all night!' Lily says longingly.

'Well Lily, you will be,' I grin.

'What?'

'We're all getting dressed up tonight. Tessie, where are our dresses?' Jelly asks.

'I'll get them.' She leaves. Lily looks at me questioningly but I just grin at her. This is going to be brilliant! Tessie returns with four dress bags. I rush forward to help her carry them.

'This one is yours Maddie. And this is yours Amy,' she hands us our dress bags.

Carefully, I zip mine open. I gasp. My dress is made of sequins! Blue sequins! Around the waist is a thick band of black with a small bow on it. It's strapless.

'Nice one,' I breathe. I quickly undress and step into it. 'Zip me up?' I ask lily. She does and I look in the mirror. It comes above my knee and floats out.

'You look so nice,' Lily smiles.

'Not as nice as you Lils! You're gorgeous!'

'Give us a look!' Maddie says. I twirl for her. 'Very nice,' she compliments.

'Let's see yours,' I order. She stands up straight. Her dress is shorter than mine. The top is black sequins that are ended by a pink band. From the band on the dress is a deep pink net material that looks perfect for twirling in.

'So cool,' I tell her.

'Jelly, show us yours!' Lily calls to her.

Jelly's dress is light pink on top and has a darker pink band around the waist. From the hips down is tie-die orange and cerise pink. It too is shorter than mine. I compliment her and then turn to Tessie. Her dress is also strapless, like ours, and is light purple with black poke-dots. It has a thick black band around the waist and comes above the knee.

'We all look fab!' Tessie announces.

'Picture time!'

!

'Why are we going down to the common room? In our dresses?' Lily asks suspiciously.

'No reason,' I say breezily.

'Now, we're here Lily,' Maddie says, giving the cue.

'Why are you talking so loud-'

'SURPRISE!'

Everyone jumps out from behind couches and tables. Lily stares around the room, dumb-struck. It looks amazing. Banners hang everywhere and a table is set up with drinks and food.

'What- how- when- AH!' Lily screams. Then she throws her arms around us again and squeezes tightly. 'I LOVE YE!'

'Ok,' we all chorus.

'Music comes on and the lights go low, and we're in the place after midnight,' Maddie says smoothly, doing a little ripple dance. Connor comes over, looking very fine indeed. They start to dance and I lead Lily over to Remus.

'Amy, what are you doing?' she hisses, trying to resist.

'You and Remus would get on brilliantly,' I tell her firmly.

'Hi Amy,' he greets me. 'Nice dress,' he smiles at Lily.

'Thanks,' she says awkwardly.

'Well, have fun,' I say, ignoring her protesting eyes and slipping away.

I back up into someone's strong chest. 'Sorry!' I turn and see Matthew gripping my elbow to keep me balanced. 'Matthew! Hi! I hoped you'd come. Gordon said you wouldn't, but I knew you would-'

'I'm just here for a minute,' he says. There's nothing wrong with his words, or his neutral tone, but his eyes are strange.

'Are you sure you can't stay?'

'Yeah, it's Maggie Smyth's birthday tonight too and I said I'd go.'

'So seventh years come before me,' I shake my head mockingly.

'Nothing comes before you,' he assures me.

'So stay,' I insist.

'We'll see,' he murmurs, gazing at my face. 'You look really nice.'

'You're just trying to change the subject,' I accuse, but I feel myself blush awkwardly.

'You're the one that distracted me. You shouldn't wear a dress like that if you don't want to dazzle everyone around you,' he says seriously.

I smile. 'It is pretty sparkly,' I admit.

'But I like it,' he smiles. We sway to the music a bit. Then a slow song comes on. 'Do you think your boyfriend would mind if I asked you to dance?' he asks pleasantly, offering me his hand.

'Probably,' I nod. He nods. I place my hand in his. 'But when do I ever take others into account?' I joke. He laughs and pulls me against him. He holds my wait with one hand and I put one hand on his shoulder.

'This is nice,' he murmurs.

I look away. 'Yeah,' I say. Tessie is watching me from where she's dancing with Andrew. She quirks an eyebrow questioningly. From the other side of the room, Maddie winks suggestively. I shake my head at her.

'Do you think I can have another dance, or would that be pushing my luck?' Matthew asks when the song ends.

'I think I'll take over from here, actually.' Sirius appears at Matthew's side. He smiles in a friendly way, but his eyes are challenging.

Matthew stares at him for a moment. They're around the same height, Matthew a couple centimetres taller than Sirius. Finally he looks at me. Oh God.

'Thanks for the dance Matthew,' I say with a tentative smile. I drop my hand from his shoulder and slowly, he releases me. Sirius wraps his arm around my waist and Matthew takes that as his cue to leave.

'So you're not going to stay then?' I ask.

'No, I think I know when something doesn't show promise,' he says quietly-which is probably really loudly, since the music is so loud.

'No promise? This party isn't in full swing yet,' I joke weakly.

'Bye Amy.'

I watch Matthew leave over Sirius' shoulder as we dance. At the portrait hole he looks back. I smile, but he doesn't return it.

'What do you think he met?' Sirius asks quietly.

'Probably there's firewhiskey at Maggie's party,' I mumble.

'I don't think that's it,' he says distractedly, glancing at the portrait hole where Matthew has disappeared.

I shrug, but inside I feel weird. I know that's not it either. I know why he cares now. It was plainly in his eyes.

He's jealous of Sirius. He likes me.

Just when I thought things were sorted!

**Hope ye like it. It's longish. :) **

**Review! **


	29. Temper leads to Sorrow

'Any idea what you want to do for your birthday?' Maddie asks as we sit in the greenhouse, halfway through Herbology. Having Herbology last class on a Wednesday is a real bore.

'I think it may be a bit late now,' I say. 'Seeing as its Saturday,' I remind her.

'Yeah…guess I left it a little late,' she allows.

'Just admit it, Madeline. You forgot.' I carefully pour yellow coloured liquid over the plant in front of us. It soaks into the soil straight away. I write on the paper that this potion is not affective on the plant.

'I did not forget it. I was just planning your present so much that I didn't think of your party,' she lies.

'Yeah, I believe you.'

'Really!' she insists.

'Look Maddie, its ok. Sirius and I might be going into Hogsmeade,' I tell her as I pick up another vial of pinkish liquid.

'Dumping us for a boy?'

'You forgot,' I point out.

'I didn't forget. It simply…didn't jump to the forefront of my mind in time,' she says defensively.

'Ok,' I sigh.

'I think you're spending too much of your time with your boyfriend,' Maddie frowns, watching me pour the potion over the plant.

'Really?' I ask, annoyed.

'Yes. You need to get some separation.'

'How do I do that? We live in the same place, socialise in the same place, take most of the same classes, eat in the same place-'

'I get it. I just think you should spend some time with other friends.'

'I see you all the time,' I object.

'_Boy_ friends.'

I pause and take a deep breath, which I regret as I get a lung-full of the horrid smelling potion. 'I see James all the time,' I say delicately.

'I'm not talking about him.'

'Then I have no idea who you are talking about,' I lie.

'Matthew. You haven't spoke to him since the party-'

'He hasn't spoken to me either, I'll point out.'

'You've been avoiding him.'

'I haven't!'

'Amy, yesterday you ducked behind Professor Binns when you saw him coming.'

'Didn't do much good, he still saw me,' I mutter. 'And, he just walked right past.'

'What's he supposed to do? He likes you and you don't like him back,' Maddie says reasonably. I say nothing, concentrating on not spilling the acidic potion. 'Unless…you do like him back?'

I sigh and set down the vial. 'I don't know,' I say wretchedly.

'You don't know?' she repeats unsympathetically.

'No, I don't,' I snap. 'It's not easy. I feel like it should be obvious. Sirius is my boyfriend and he's brilliant, but then Matthew is-'

'Not relevant to Herbology, unless you're discussing his skill with Mandrakes,' Professor Grubbly says sternly. She examines our sheet of parchment with our answers. With a frown she says, 'Less chit-chat girls. Maybe then you'd know that Hippogriff urine is not affective.'

'I haven't been seeing all that much of Sirius lately anyway,' I say under my breath.

!

'So I heard you're in a bit of a spiffy,' Lily says, sitting on my bed beside me. I look out the window and shrug. 'Regarding Matthew and Sirius,' she continues.

'Doesn't news travel fast when it travels through the Madeline Ashton tunnel?'

She laughs softly once. 'Want to talk about it?'

'I don't even know what to say. My thoughts aren't even making any sense. I've been avoiding Matthew, Sirius and I can't have a conversation without it going awkward anymore, which I suspect is because I now know Matthew likes me and to top it all off, my period is starting to last longer,' I finish with a huff.

'I've got muggle tablets you can take if you're having pains,' she suggests.

'I don't have my period now.'

'Then what are you complaining about?'

'I'm in a complaining mood.'

'I see.' She nods and slides off the bed. Then she scrambles underneath it and emerges with a big bar of chocolate. 'A little bit of choccy makes everything better,' she says as she settles herself back on the bed, cross legged.

'Yeah, but that's not mine,' I says, confused.

She grins. 'I know. It's Cathy Heinz's. She hides it under your bed so Rebecca Scaleton won't find it.'

'Aren't you sneaky?' I smile, taking the piece she's offering me.

'You sound so approving of my sneakiness. And sometimes it's ok to be sneaky,' she says.

'I don't know what to do, Lily,' I groan, collapsing backwards so that my head and torso hang off the side of the bed.

Lily joins me in the same position. There's a sign of a true friend, because this is one seriously uncomfortable way to lie.

'How about we make a list of things you like about them both?' she suggests.

'Ok. Who will we start with?'

'Sirius, I should think.'

'Sirius,' I hum thoughtfully. 'He's funny.'

'He thinks he's funny.'

'He's determined.'

'I'd say pig-headed.'

'Charming.'

'A lick-arse.'

'Lily.'

'It's my job to point out the bad things,' she says patiently.

'Why?'

'Because you're biased.'

'Fine. But stop getting so much enjoyment out of it.'

'How do you stop enjoying something- ok!' I place my pillow back on the bed. 'Continue.'

'I can't remember where I was now.'

'You were at charming,' she reminds me kindly.

'Right. Well, he's clever and witty.'

'You say witty, I say snarky.'

'He's got great arms.'

'Steroids.'

'You know he doesn't take steroids,' I say.

'Show me proof.'

'He doesn't.'

'Let me see the proof,' she says again.

I roll my eyes. 'Back to the list. Err…'

'You've run out of things to say. That's not good,' she says seriously.

'It was going to happen at some point,' I say, exasperated.

'But so soon?'

'He says he really likes me and-'

'Yes, yes,' she says boredly. 'I know, you've told me. _I think you're special because you're free, you're brave, you didn't run away when I showed you my drug-induced guns,' _she purrs in a deep voice.

I fail in holding in a laugh. 'He doesn't talk like that. And his muscles are not drug-induced,' I say, still laughing.

'Show me the proof,' she demands.

'You're an idiot,' I tell her.

'Hey, I'm lying here with the blood flowing to my head. Show some appreciation.'

'Ok, I appreciate you. Should we move to Matthew?'

'Yes. So, begin.'

'Matthew,' I sigh. 'Well, let's see. He's smart.'

Silence on Lily's behalf.

'Lily…'

'Yes?'

'Aren't you going to contradict?'

'Oh, right! Yes, he is smart. But he works so hard for it. Sirius is more naturally smart.'

'I thought you approved of hard work?'

'I do. I'm just bringing your attention to the contrast,' she says diplomatically.

'Ok. Well, that brings us to the fact that he is hard-working.'

'A little too hard, maybe?'

'He's patient.'

'His patience seems to have run out a bit, hasn't it? Seeing as he is ignoring you.'

'Very true. He's also compassionate.'

'Much more so than Sirius,' she says.

'Sirius is compassionate,' I say feebly.

'No…he's passionate, I'm sure, but not _com_passionate,' she says surely.

'Matthew…doesn't seem to understand me.'

'I wouldn't say Sirius does either. But then, do boys ever understand women? I mean, look at Potter. As soon as he got Vane off his arm-or should I say penis? - He tried to get me on it. Dirty toe-rag,' she adds in a mutter.

I sigh. 'You are so right.'

'Thank you for agreeing with me! All I ever hear from Maddie is 'Oh, you should give him a chance! Oh, he's so cute! Oh-'

'Yes Lily, I get it. I wasn't really talking about Ja-Potter,' I correct myself hastily. She's asked us all not to say his name around her.

'What else about Matthew?'

'He has some good hair,' I say.

She makes an appreciative noise. 'He does have some pretty good hair,' she agrees.

'But I'm pretty sure he uses all sorts of charms on it to make it that soft and bouncy,' I say.

'Amy.'

'What?

She cuts me a teasing look. 'You're taking my job.'

I laugh. 'Sorry.'

'Do you feel better now?' she asks.

'I feel…clearer,' I say.

'So…can we sit up now?'

I laugh. 'Of course, Lily.'

We sit up slowly. Lily puts her head between her knees. 'The things I do for you,' she sighs.

'I hug her bent back. 'I love you Lily.'

'I know.'

I wait.

'I guess I love you too,' she smirks. 'So,' she looks at me expectantly from between her legs.

'What?'

'Who ya gonna choose?'

'Choose? I didn't know I had to choose,' I frown. She gives me an upside-down look. 'Hey, so I haven't got to that part yet. Maybe I should just become a lesbian,' I say thoughtfully.

'Then you could join my club,' she says enthusiastically.

'You have a club?'

'Oh yes. We meet every Friday night,' she tells me, sitting up slowly.

'Who's in it?'

'Me and Nora.'

'I see. You and your teddy bear,' I grin.

'But if you joined, it would be me, my teddy bear, and you,' she points out.

'Sounds tempting,' I laugh. 'But I may have to pass on that.'

'You don't know what you're missing.'

!

'Isn't it kind of chilly to be sitting here by yourself?' Sirius asks as he reaches my spot at the base of the big oak tree. From here, I have a perfect view of the castle and the lake. 'Especially when you have a boyfriend whose purpose is to keep warn,' he adds with a cheeky grin. He flops down next to me.

'I've missed you,' I blurt out. I hide my face in my hands.

He laughs. 'I'm right here,' he points out.

'Yes, but it's been so weird. And I don't understand anything,' I say sulkily. Pouring my problems out to Sirius has always seemed so easy. Now I feel like I'm being weak.

'I know why it's been weird,' he says darkly. 'It's Jones. He's trying to move in on you. He's trying to break us up. But I'm not going to let him. Are you?' he demands.

I mumble something incoherent. I don't even know what I said. His fingers prise my hands away from my face and he looks me in the eyes.

'Are you going to let him ruin everything?' he asks quietly, intently.

'I don't want to. But I just don't know anything,' I say wretchedly.

'Not true. You know how to speak Irish, how to converse with Remus, you even know how to perform that spell where sparks come out of your wand when I still haven't mastered it. You know how you feel, so just tell me,' he finishes.

I sniff hugely. 'I like you.'

'But you like him too, right?'

I meet his gaze then and see his eyes, knowing. I become aware of the heat coming from his body, and it makes me shiver and yearn to be near him. I reach out and wrap my arms around his shoulders, holding myself to him.

'I like you more,' I whisper in his ear.

'Tell him that,' he whispers back, pulling my arms from around his neck and turning me around gently. Matthew is walking down the path towards us slowly, his shoulders slouched and hands shoved in his pocket. He's not alone. Flanking him are Mulciber and Snape. I feel Sirius tense and my teeth go on edge. How I loathe them.

'What's up Black?' Matthew stands over us, the other two behind him.

'Just sitting with my girlfriend. How about you?' Sirius asks. I know the pleasantry in his voice is forced.

'Came to talk to Amy, so you and your imaginary girlfriend can leave, if you don't mind,' Matthew smiles.

'I'm going to kindly forget your smart little instruction and go in for dinner with Mr. Mulciber and Mr. Snape. If I'm lucky, maybe on of them will 'fall in' to the lake.'

He gets up and after a meaningful look at the two death eater wannabes, the three of them strolled away, Sirius behind the other two, watching them the whole time.

'Well now that he's gone,' Matthew smiles brilliantly at me. 'Do you mind of I sit down?'

'Yes, I do mind,' I say coldly. 'I don't want a death eater to be anywhere near me.'

Matthew chuckles and sits anyway. He slings an arm over my shoulders lazily. 'I'm not a death eater Amy. Please,' he scoffs. 'You think You-Know-Who would let a half-blood like me join the ranks? Psh.'

'Don't sound like you want to,' I say quietly.

'Doesn't sound so awful to me. Power, respect, your talent being recognised- Aw, Amy, don't look at me like that, I'm just trying to wind you up,' he says.

'Well don't,' I snap. 'I've had enough of you being an idiot.'

'Love makes people into idiots,' he says quietly.

'You don't love me!'

'How do you know?' he demands indignantly. 'I very well could!'

'No you couldn't, so stop. You know you don't,' I say angrily.

'I don't know any such thing. And what about you? There's a lot you don't know,' he says, an edge to his words.

'Like what?' I ask carefully.

'Like what Black's doing every second night with Hazel Jerks!'

'What?' I whisper.

'Every second night, he meets her in an abandoned classroom. They do be a couple hours in there sometimes,' Matthew says fiercely.

'I don't believe you,' I say.

'Why?'

'Because you're just trying to ruin everything!' I shout at him. 'You don't like Sirius and so you're trying to beat him. If he gets Exceeds Expectations in History, you have to get Outstanding. He's on the Quidditch team. You have to be captain. He's going out with me. You have to make sure you do better than him. Well, you can just stop it right now, you horrible prick!'

I get up and grab my schoolbag, then hurry up the path to the school, rubbing my eyes to prevent tears. He runs after me and catches my arm, spinning me around to look at him.

'Follow him tonight then. At half nine,' he says, his eyes bright with his own anger.

'I will! And you know what? You can come too, so I can give you a good wallop when you're wrong!' I say angrily. I snatch my arm back and turn my back to him.

'Where will we meet then, Amy love?' he calls mockingly.

'Fuck off,' I say. I don't know if he can hear me or not. Hope he does.

'I'll just leave it to faith then!' he calls.

!

'Amy, I don't think you should go,' Lily says, biting her lip.

'Believe me, Lillian, I am cursing my temper right now,' I say gravely as I stick my wand into my robes pocket. 'I really don't want to go.'

'Then don't,' she says hopefully.

'Lily, I have to. Otherwise, what he said will gnaw away at me and drive me mental,' I tell her.

'Amy, he crossed the line. He was _bang_ out of order; we both know that, so let's not give him the satisfaction of thinking you believe or care about what he said,' she says eagerly.

'That sounds like a brilliant idea, Lils. If all this turns into the biggest pile of dragon dung ever, I give you permission now to throw it back in my face,' I tell her as I open the door. Before I close it behind me, I hear her say, 'I really hope it doesn't.'

!

'You look lovely in the torchlight.'

'Shut up,' I snarl at Matthew as I reach him.

'If that's what you'd prefer.' He mimes zipping his lips closed. 'We can walk in silence.' He starts down the dimly lit corridor, and after a moment's hesitation, I follow. Matthew wouldn't hurt me, but just in case…I tighten my hand around my wand in my pocket. He turns a corner, into a passageway with no light at all.

'Lumos maxima,' I whisper.

'Don't be stupid. Turn down the light, or Filch will catch us,' Matthew hisses. I stick my tongue out at his back, but dim my wand tip all the same.

'How much further?' I ask in a hushed whisper.

'Just a little bit. We have to go down stairs. Watch your step, they're worn down,' he warns.

I follow him down the old stone stairs, they must lead to the dungeons, because it's wet and slimy and indeed very worn down. I step down the next stair, only to find that it's missing, and I nearly fall through. I gasp as my foot goes through the air. With a sigh, Matthew grabs me by the waist and lifts me down the last couple of steps.

'The step was missing,' I say sheepishly once he sets me down.

'Yeah, they tend to do that, trick stairs.'

'It could've happened to anyone,' I say.

'Of course it could have.' Through the darkness, I think I see him grin, and maybe even roll his eyes.

'Let's go then,' I huff.

'It's tight here,' he says, pointing to a heavy wooden door.

'What do we do?'

'There's a door further down that leads to the back of the classroom, I usually go in through there,' he says, gesturing for me to follow him.

'You spy on him a lot, do you?'

He turns to look at me, hand resting on the second door's knob. Finally he bends down so his face is level with mine and says, after a dramatic pause, 'Shh!'

I roll my eyes and am about to tell him just where he can shove his 'Shh' when he eases the door open and slips in. I follow him carefully. The back of the classroom is full of desks, a pile of which we duck behind. I can see two figures near the front, in front of the blackboard. The room is very lowly lit, but I can easily recognise Sirius and after a bit of squinting, I can confirm that the fake blonde Hazel Jerks is standing in front of me.

'So, are you still seeing that fifth year girl?' she purrs.

'No, she wasn't really the one for me,' Sirius says in a strange voice.

'What was wrong with her?'

'She was too focused on herself.'

My mouth drops open. I can feel Matthew's triumphant gaze.

Hazel goes on. 'That's awful. Well, maybe you and I can go into Hogsmeade sometime, or something,' she says with a little smile.

Sirius seems to relax. 'Really good,' he says enthusiastically.

'I have an excellent teacher,' she shrugs.

Sirius laughs.

What the hell? Is she trying to seduce him or something? Is his pet name 'teacher'? What the hell?

'Watch,' Matthew whispers in my ear, his breath warm.

'Do you think we should practise anything else?' she says lowly, so that I have to strain to hear her.

'What else is there?' he asks.

'The kiss,' she says, in a voice I imagine she thinks sounds sexy.

He snorts. 'I don't think we need to practise that.'

'I don't want to mess it up,' she says stubbornly.

'You have plenty of experience to put behind it already, I think,' he says, backing away. He keeps stumbling back until his back hits the wall.

'I don't want to mess it up,' she repeats, and then she kisses him. And then I run to the door and flee.

Yes, I really do flee.

I run blindly down the passage, to the stairs that leads up out of the dungeons. When I get to them, someone catches my hand and forces me to stop running. It's Matthew.

'Amy, don't cry,' he whispers, eyes wide. I reach up and brush away the traitor tears. 'Please don't.'

'This is what you wanted,' I sob. 'So don't pretend to be sympathetic.'

'I didn't-no- I just-'

'Amy! Wait!' Sirius comes running down the hall. 'I can explain,' he pants when he reaches us.

'Leave her alone,' Matthew growls.

'You leave her alone!'

'No, you-'

'Both of you just fuck off!' I shout, before running clumsily up the stairs. I take them two at a time, by some miracle not getting caught by a trick step. I run until I reach the portrait hole. Then I run to my dorm, where all the girls stop laughing and chatting when I fling the door open.

I can imagine how I look, tears running from my eyes and sobbing. I stumble over to Lily's bed. She jumps up and pulls the curtains around the bed, and then she holds me and strokes my hair and yells at the other girls to get Tessie.

'I hate him! I hate him!' I wail as the two of them rock me back and forth and wipe at my tears.

'Which one?' Lily asks hesitatingly.

'BOTH OF THEM!'

**A pretty big chapter. I was really disappointed with the last chapter. Only 1 review! The person knows who they are, and that i love them :) Please review this everyone that reads! I wrote 3743 characters. You can write a couple of words I'm sure :)**

**xxxBlue xxx**


	30. Changes

'So that's it then? You're just going to lie here and sulk all day?' Maddie demands.

'I'm not sulking. I'm brooding,' I mumble.

'It's your birthday. You've just turned fifteen! We should be having fun! Let's go down to breakfast and you can get your mail- which means presents! And we'll give you ours after. Come on, Amy, what do you say?'

'I say I'm not going downstairs,' I snap.

'You can't avoid the Great Hall forever. Sooner or later, people are going to start wondering why you and Lily are always absent- _together_,' Maddie says, quirking her eyebrows.

'It doesn't matter what they think. Everyone will have found out soon enough that I've joined Lily's lesbian club,' I grumble.

'Amy,' jelly says, sitting down next to me and tugging the covers down from my face. 'By staying up here, you're just leading him to think you care.'

I stare at her. 'But I do care.'

'Caring is weakness.'

'That's a horrible thing to say!'

'I –ok-sorry- I didn't mean- Oh my God, Tessie! Do something!' she appeals.

Tessie comes over and pulls the blankets off. She hands them to Lily, who gives her a look and dumps them on Cathy Heinz's bed.

'Amy, I understand that you're nervous and maybe even a little bit scared of a confrontation with Sirius or Matthew. But you need to get up, shower and have a bit of fun. _And_,' she nudges me, 'Presents! Come on.'

I sit up and sniff my armpits. 'I do kind of smell,' I say reluctantly. They all grin. 'Ok, get out so I can shower without feeling like I'm in danger.'

They all file out and I take off my pyjamas, which I've been wearing for the last three days while I was pretending to be sick so I wouldn't have to go to classes. I step into the warm water of the shower. I scrub my hair twice, and then decide to shampoo a third time, just to prolong getting out of the warm haze of steam that's filling the bathroom.

Finally, my hair making a satisfying squeaky noise when I rub it and my skin smelling strongly of the sharp soap made by the house elves, I step back into the room. It's empty, apart from Rebecca Scaleton's owl, Kudos, who is asleep with his head tucked under his wing.

I head to my trunk and flip it open with a gusty sigh. I claw through my clothes. Let's see. I have three pairs of jeans, seven t-shirts, two chunky knit jumpers, three zip-up hoodies, four pairs of shorts, two skirts and one sundress. Well, isn't this helpful!

'Girls, it looks like she may be in need of one of her presents now,' Lily announces from behind me.

'I agree. Really, Amy! You'd swear you didn't have any nice clothes. You'd never know you have a whole wardrobe filled with pretty dresses at home. You're in luck though, because we knew you'd need a birthday outfit, and Avril was kind enough to go shopping for us.' Maddie prances forward with a bag. She holds it out to me with a smile. 'Happy birthday,' she says. They all chorus it after her.

I smile and push my depressed mood to the tips of my toes, where it's too far away to ruin this nice moment. I take the bag. 'Thanks guys.' I reach in and pull out the soft fabric. Unfolding it, I see a little denim skirt, a dark blue, faded looking t-shirt and a pair of knee-high grey socks. I hold up the t-shirt and laugh. There's a picture of a little puppy sitting on a broom on the front, and on the back it says 'Say woof!'

'Thank you!' I hug them. 'This is very cool.'

'Get dressed then. Oh, and we almost forgot.' Tessie tosses me a shoebox. 'To complete the look.' I open it up and see a pair of bright red cloth trainers, like the ones the muggle bands wear, with the star stamped onto the inside ankle.

I squeal and jump up and down. 'Oh my God! I've wanted these ever since we went to France!' I do a twirl, holding the new trainers to my chest lovingly. 'They're perfect,' I whisper, gazing at them in wonder.

They laugh and hug me. 'Get dressed, and call us when you're decent,' Lily says. They close the door and I stand for one more minute, revelling in the feel of the scratchy trainers against my neck. I put on underwear and then pull my knee high socks on. They cover my knees and fold above them. I step into my skirt, which comes high above the knee, higher than I suspect it would on a girl with a normal height. Someone with a height like Jelly. Or maybe Hazel Jerks-

I think I'm going to cry. Or commit murder. Moving on, I think.

I slip my t-shirt over my head and smile when I see how cute it is with my skirt and socks. Then I put on a mint green zip-up hoody. And last- but in no way least- I put on my shoes, tying the laces carefully and tapping my heels together. Then I stop, afraid I'll mark them.

'Come in!' I shout. I look in the mirror and grin at my feet.

'Nice,' Maddie says appreciatively. The rest of them break into a chorus of 'Ooh's.

'Guys, I don't care how ye did it, but thank you!' I announce as I do a little happy dance.

'You deserve it,' Tessie says.

'Yeah, now let's go.' Lily links her arm through mine and I link mine through Maddie's, who links Tessie who links Jelly. We have a hard time getting out the door, a harder time going down the stairs and one word can describe going through the portrait hole: failure. Our little chain was forced to break.

I stop outside the Great Hall, overcome with nerves. You know the feeling of dread you get when you're going somewhere you know your ex will be? It's as if you're about to sit a really important exam. Or maybe it's more like you're about to get the results of an important exam. You're really wishing you'd never had to do the exam in the first place, to save you this stress. Or maybe you're wishing you'd simply tried harder, paid more attention, read that one little paragraph you'd skipped, because those few lines could hold the answers to all the questions you got wrong.

Or maybe this is a bad simile.

With a gentle tug from Maddie, and then another not-so-gentle push from Jelly, I stumble in the doors of the Great Hall. It would be inaccurate to say all eyes turn to stare at me. Because, not all eyes turn to stare at me. The Ravenclaws distinctly sneer and the Slytherins couldn't care less. The Hufflepuffs do stare- bless their souls, they're so dopey. And the Gryffindors look between me and Sirius, confused and worried. They don't want their house to be split or fighting.

Sirius rises from his seat as soon as I start to approach the table. I walk past him hurriedly to the end of the table. That brings me away from him, but unfortunately closer to the Ravenclaws, who are acting uncharacteristically interested and satisfied. Usually they take a rather haughty approach to other students, distancing themselves from our gossip and news. But today they are just far too alert.

I stab my fork into a sausage and cut it with unnecessary force while I stonily ignore Isla Hemsworth, who is laughing uncontrollably at something Sarah Vane said. I can feel the weight of their laughter, too high to be innocent, on my shoulders as if they're pressing down on me. what's worse, the stares I'm getting or the kissing couples?

'Are you trying to cut through the table?' Maddie jokes. I look up from my severed sausage to her face. Her mouth is smiling and she sips juice like she hasn't a care in the world, but her light green eyes are tight, fastened on the other fifth year Ravenclaw girls, who are whispering and looking very scandalised.

'Just imagining justice,' I reply, dropping my knife and shoving away my sausage disgustedly. 'I don't think I can eat.'

'Then drink. Here, have some juice.' She passes me the jug of gooseberry juice, still watching the Ravenclaw table suspiciously.

'You think they're talking about-?' Jelly widens her eyes and clears her throat.

'I know they're talking about-' Maddie widens her eyes and clears her throat.

'Well they better stop talking about-' Jelly widens her eyes and clears her throat.

'They're totally relishing in-' Tessie widens her eyes and clears her throat.

'Little bitches,' I snarl as quietly as I can. How dare they talk about 'widen eyes and clear throat.' This is our code for 'The Cheat Sheet', as we call it.

'Ignore them. Don't give them the satisfaction,' Lily says forcefully.

'I don't get why they're so happy,' Jelly mutters.

'Because Jerks caused Amy and Sirius to break up,' Maddie says obviously.

'I know that.' She rolls her eyes. 'But some of them like Amy. Why would they side with her?'

'Because she's got power. She's the queen B of Ravenclaw. And by 'B' I don't mean the buzzing kind,' Lily says darkly.

'Glad they're all getting so much enjoyment out of it,' I say, staring into my juice.

'Amy? Can I talk to you?'

'No,' I snap, not looking up from my grumpy brooding.

'Please.'

'Well it all depends. Who's asking?' I ask pleasantly.

'Matthew.'

My face settles into a scowl. 'Tell him I said he can-'

'There are first years listening, before you finish that sentence.'

I look up at him and hope my scowl grows stronger. 'You're not funny.'

'This is not a time for humour,' he agrees solemnly.

'Put your divination to the test and guess what my answer is,' I say coldly.

'Yes?' he asks hopefully.

'You should have dropped that subject. You're awful at it,' I tell him before settling back into my brooding position.

'Come on, please. Let's talk outside, away from all this lot,' he insists.

'She said no already,' Maddie snaps.

'So take the hint,' Jelly continues.

'And fuck off,' Tessie finishes coldly.

'Do ye talk for Amy now?' he asks rudely.

'Don't talk to them like that,' I say. I stand up and look at them. 'I'll be back in a few minutes.'

'Ok. Make sure to hurry, I'm not walking into Hogsmeade. And I'll collect your post for you,' Maddie says lightly, but again her eyes take in Matthew as he walks ahead of me out the doors of the Hall. He stops me in the Entrance Hall. Where we run into none other than Sirius Black.

'Don't start something Black,' Matthew warns.

'Don't tell me what to do Jones,' Sirius retorts.

'I am a prefect, Black.'

'You are a toss-pot, Jones.'

'You're barking for a detention!'

'You're barking for a haircut!'

'You're barking for a –'

'Will you both just shut up!' I shout exasperated. They both look at me. 'Even when I hate both of you, you're still at each other's throats! I've had enough of it!'

'It wasn't you that made us hate each other,' Sirius says, glaring at Matthew. 'It was that way before you came into the picture.'

'Yes, all you did was make the picture prettier,' Matthew says, glaring back at Sirius.

'Stop being a lick-arse,' I say and then I look at the floor and blush when Sirius says it at the same time. I glance up and see him grinning at me. When I don't smile back, he sobers up. He steps toward me.

'Amy, we need to talk, badly,' he says seriously.

'Too bad Black, this is actually my time for talking. You'll just have to reschedule,' Matthew shrugs.

'Matthew, shut up,' I snap.

'Couldn't have said it with more venom myself,' Sirius says approvingly.

'You shut it too.'

'Amy, are you seriously going to talk to him after what he did to you?' Matthew demands.

'Yes, because if I kill him, I could get detention,' I say.

'Not if you do it when I'm on duty,' Matthew assures me.

'Very tempting, but I'll listen to him first,' I mutter. No sense in murdering him when I feel like this. Best save it until I feel even worse. That way I'll be guaranteed to get the most out of it.

'Guess you'll just have to reschedule!' Sirius calls over his shoulder as I lead the way outside. I can hear the sneer he usually reserves for Severus Snape in his drawl.

'You have three minutes to make up an excuse I probably won't believe before I have to go and get a carriage to Hogsmeade,' I tell him tonelessly as we stand by the lake.

'Ok.' He takes a deep breath. 'I was tutoring her.' I snort. I've heard that one before. 'She likes Remus, and she asked me to help her learn how to act around him- because you know Remus. He's so awkward around girls it's kind of intimidating for them- or so she said. Though, now that I think about it, that kind of quiet, man of stone thing does seem to work for him. But anyway. She asked me to help her, as a favour to an old friend, and I said yes. I didn't want to tell you because I knew you'd go mental-'

''Go mental'? No I wouldn't have! Well, not compared to now, when you just called me mental. Or when I found you doing the tongue tango in an old classroom,' I say crossly.

'Amy, ew! Seriously, I would never do that willingly. She pounced on me! And didn't you hear her say I was an excellent _teacher_?' he demands, exasperated. 'What did you think she meant?'

'I just assumed that was her sex-name for you,' I sniff. 'I guessed that's what you liked her to shout out when you're slamming away on the dusty old desks. You know what though? I'm kind of disappointed. I thought you'd be more creative than that,' I say bitchily. 'Oh, and Sirius, you must not find it all that gross, seeing as you spent a good while slamming away with her willingly before I came along.'

He just stands and glares at me, anger plain on his face. I can see I've succeeded in my quest to make him feel even a fraction of what I felt when I saw them, how I feel now; betrayed, angry, and disappointed. I thought Sirius and I got along beautifully, never thought about a day when we wouldn't, when it would all be done. Now it looks like that day is here.

But do I want it?

'You know, people break up, and I'm not going to say I thought we'd be together forever, because I never thought farther ahead than when the next time I'd get you alone would be. But I'll say this; I never thought he'd be in the picture,' Sirius says.

'It wasn't Matthew. It was your own fault Sirius. For once, grow up and take some responsibility,' I say.

'Don't go high and mighty on me!' he groans, some of the anger draining away. That's Sirius, of course. He never really manages to hold on to his negative feelings (the exceptions of course being one Snivellus and Matthew). 'You've only just turned fifteen; don't act like you know so much. We're not responsible, we're not wise or perfect, so don't pretend to be! We're just kids, how are we supposed to take responsibility? We're _supposed_ to mess up and get into stupid situations. This is the time for it. '

'Yeah, you're right,' I realise. 'Thanks for the birthday wish, by the way.'

I turn away and star up the familiar path to the castle.

'I wasn't cheating on you!' he adds, a little ways behind me.

'I don't care anymore!'

'I was just helping her!'

'Yeah, I know!'

'Are you still angry? I'm sorry,' he says.

I pause and take him in. 'I'm sorry too,' I say.

He leans in and kisses me, kind of wetly. I kiss him back, just for a minute, memorising what it feels like and storing the information away for later. Then I pull away and say, 'I don't want to be your girlfriend anymore.'

'Fine,' he says.

'But…friends, yeah?' I don't know what else there is. I'm fifteen, and I've just broken up with my first boyfriend. What can I say? I'm an amateur.

He nods slowly. 'Yeah, friends.'

I rock back and forth on the balls of my feet awkwardly. Then he clears his throat and sticks his hand out. I smile a little bit and shake it. Then are hands fall away from eachother and we stand there again.

'I have to go. There's no way Maddie will walk into Hogsmeade,' I say awkwardly.

'Yeah, ok,' he nods hastily.

'Sirius,' I add before I turn away.

'Yes?'

'Err…let's not say too much about this, ok?'

'Good idea,' he says looking relieved.

'To save us the trouble,' I add.

'Yeah.'

'Ok. Well, bye,' I say with a small smile that is a bit sad. He returns it.

Should I look at this as a learning experience, or should I look at this as something to regret and be sour about? I don't regret it, and I don't feel sour, and I don't hate Sirius. If we're speaking in confidence, I'll be honest and say I still really like him. But like Sirius said, it's the time for learning and trying different things, and maybe I should put that into practise now. And at least we're still friends. And at least I can say I had a worthy first boyfriend, who treated me right and liked me back.

'Amy! Everything ok?' Matthew trots up beside me.

I consider for a moment. 'Yeah, I think so,' I smile at last.

'Great. You and Black then…you're finished?' he asks.

'Not finished. Just…changed,' I say softly, looking over my shoulder where two black haired boys are laughing and shoving eachother. One looks up, his stormy eyes meeting mine. I never got to decipher those eyes. Who knows, maybe I will some day. I smile at him hesitatingly and he winks.

'Well, what are you going to do now?' Matthew asks.

'I'm going into town with my friends,' I say.

'And, you and me, we're ok?'

I turn and smile at him, letting all my negative feelings leave me as I exhale. What is the point in holding a grudge against Matthew when I'm staring over fresh anyway?

I hug him. 'Of course.'

'Err, great,' he says, surprised.

'I'll see you around I guess,' I say, releasing him and jogging up the stairs to my dorm. I throw the door open and grin at the four girls inspecting a pile of wrapped parcels on my bed.

'You look happy,' the pretty girl with the delicate light brown hair says cautiously.

'I am happy, Jelly.'

'That's great…' The dark haired girl looks pleasantly confused.

'Today I'm starting something new,' I announce. 'It's kind of scary and I'm sure at some stage I'll regret doing it, but all the same. Today I am a happy, single girl who is fifteen years old for the first time, has the shoes she's always wanted, has the best friends in the world and a big pile of presents on her bed. Why wouldn't I be happy?'

'Well…good,' Lily says. 'So you and Sirius then…?'

'Have changed, but that's ok,' I say firmly. 'For now, I have everything the easiest way, so lets relish in that for a while, shall we?'

I examine my presents. The new Moon-Grazer broom! 'This is the best broom in the world! It bet the Star-toucher hands down in the latest top twenty!' I exclaim, after unwrapping the present from Paul and dad to see the shiny new wood of the broom.

'Whoa. Didn't hold back, did they?' Lily breathes.

'And nana got me new books! And mum and May got me clothes and there's money from everyone else! Not bad, is it?' I crow.

'There's another one there,' Tessie points to my pillow, where a small package is hiding. I take it and open it. Inside is a long chain with a chunk of some kind of stone on it. It's orange, purple, black and blue, the colours mixing into eachother. I smile, knowing straight away who it's from.

'Well?'

'Sirius,' I say softly. I duck my head though the chain. The stone rests between my breasts, near my heart.

'You know what,' I say cheerfully, feeling elated and free. 'Since today is the day of change, I might just go over the last chapter of Herbology. Just so I'm caught up,' I grin.

'Amy! They all groan together, falling backwards off the bed.

I laugh. 'What?'

'I think,' Lily begins.

'That that's one change that can wait for another day,' Tessie finishes for her, with a knowing twinkle in her eye.

'Alright. I think I'm done with change for a while anyway,' I say, grabbing my bag and heading for the door wit my friends.

But change isn't done with me.

**READ THE AUTHORS NOTE! It is SO ULTRA IMPORTANT!**

**and review please :) **

**xxxxxx**


	31. REALLY IMPORTANT AN

Thank you _SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO _much to every single person who reviewed, favourited, alerted this story! Without ye, there would be no sequel! Which means **YES THERE IS A SEQUEL!**

It will be called **Under cover in Black. **It will follow Amy, Sirius, Matthew, Lily, Tessie, Jelly, Maddie, Remus (Put him for the fangirls:) and all the others as they go through the Summer before sixth year and the start of sixth year. The first chapter should be posted some time next week maybe?

Here's a little something to spark your attention. This may or may not be in the actual story, right now it's just one of many little thoughts floating around Amy's head :)

* I've never liked lying, but Ive always been good at it. That's partly why the order asked me. That and he know's me. But if Id known being a spy meant i had to crawl around the dirty tunnels of the ministry in a white gown, I wouldn't have been so quick to agree.*

Thanks so much again. Feel free to review with your opinions or message me :)

HOPE TO SEE YOU AT UNDER COVER IN BLACK!

BlueSkies13

x


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